Overflowing  

rm_JocelynRenee 55T
51 posts
3/13/2006 10:40 am
Overflowing

It seems a mass depression descended across the world last week. Many of my favorite bloggers commented about it, some are taking a break from online activities because of it, my entire family was ill, my wife was down, and...well, you get the picture.

I hate depression. I hate its insidious nature. I hate the way it subtly poisons relationships and tears down self-esteem. But most of all, I hate the way it is so often based on an unreasonably critical view of the world around us.

Daily, we are bombarded with negative imagery: nuclear armageddon, economic collapse, and environmental disaster are all right around the corner. Bigotry and injustice are rampant. And let's not forget the one nearest and dearest to our hearts; every time I go outside in a skirt a rampaging mob attacks me with sticks and stones. Is that the world we live in? Repeat it often enough and it becomes reality; in our minds, if not in fact.

Yes, I see the threats inherent in all of these problems. However, where so many see hopelessness, I see boundless opportunities for the human spirit to soar and make substantive changes for the benefit of future generations. Better yet, I actually see these changes being made.

Last Saturday we decided to go out for breakfast after our night at Vice Versa. A few minutes after being seated a group of 3 men and three women were seated in the booth behind us - men on one side of the table; women on the other. The men were drunk, loud, obnoxious, and seated directly across from me. "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...." came to mind, but we didn't have a problem with them at all.

Shortly before they left, a group of Vice Versa people arrived, including Gina Jordan, AKA Big Girl. She's the director of entertainment at Vice Versa and a frequent drag performer there. This night she had performed at a club out of town, and when she walked in she was wearing boy clothes with a wig and full-stage makeup. As the drunk men walked by her table, you could see the look of scorn on their faces. The women were trailing behind and one of them stopped by the table and told Gina she was one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen. Upon hearing this, the husband yelled, "She's not a woman; she's a drag queen." In unison, the entire section of of people in the restaurant rose up, staring at the men. The woman who had stopped by the table said, "Shut up you jerk. She's a lot better looking woman than you'll ever have!" Hmmm, I'm not sure what that says about the relationship between those 6 people, but the point is, she forcefully defended Gina. So did a lot of other people; straight and gay alike.

I know that being TG is confusing and scary. I know that it sometimes feels like the whole word is against us. But I also know that the world is changing; perhaps not at the rate we would like, but change is coming. If we want to accelerate the pace of change, we've got to put a familiar face on the TG world. It's quite easy to misunderstand or even fear the unknown, but when people see a face that they know, perceptions will begin to change.

Living a life in fear paralyzes us and prevents us from undertaking the hard work of making life better - not only for ourselves, but for our families, friends, and the generations to come. Living a safe life, devoid of risk-taking, prevents us from making - and learning from - mistakes that that equip us to help a brother or a sister in need. Today I can rejoice in the fact that my life was once devastated by TG issues. Without that dark time, how could I empathize with another? "For we know that all things work together for good to them that lave God, to them who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:2

The worst thing about fear is the distorted view of the world it presents and the way it blinds us to our potential and the many blessings we have in our lives. Since childhood I have always been a "glass is half-full" kind of person. Today I'm resolved to remain firmly in "the glass is overflowing" camp. I hope you are too. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1) In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me. (Psalms 56:11)

Cheers,
Jocelyn


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