What to do  

rm_JUSTsex4me 37F
157 posts
1/29/2006 4:01 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

What to do

I push him away for reasons unknown.

I've known him almost all my life, I swore in kindergarten (yes, really) that he would be the person I would spend the rest of my life with and marry.

Are we married? No.

Are we in love? We used to be.

But we share a child together, a common factor in our lives that will forever bond us in at least one way.

I used to love this man more than anything in the world, then his job took him away from me for weeks at a time. Believe me when I say that abscence does not make the heart grow fonder, it breaks down everything you've tried so hard to keep together. Now, when he isn't here I don't even miss him. There are those first days when he leaves for his weeks that I miss waking up next to him, smelling him, kissing him, hugging him, just him being here. But then after those few days, I get pissed off.

Pissed off that he isn't here.

I do honestly believe that he was that one person put on this earth just for me but circumstances prevent fate from taking its course. How do you let someone go when you know there's no chance that you'll ever find another person that's only for you no matter how long you search?

rm_cockmerollme 46F
1223 posts
1/30/2006 1:57 am


I don't know...

But you have your whole life to look.

And even better, time to see who you are, what you want.

You have to grow. And change. You have to evolve.

And then you find someone who fits that you.

Or maybe you don't.

But you will have a great person in your life, and much love.
That child is lucky that you care so much about all this.

Many people would stay.

Many choose to stay in loveless relationships.For the comfort.

Consider counseling. Just consider it.

Not for you both, but just for you.
It can be all yours.


rm_JUSTsex4me 37F
185 posts
1/30/2006 1:46 pm

C~ thanks for stopping by. and as for the counseling, I've been there for years. Yes, it helps but only for a little while. I go in, get everything off my chest for that week and then let it all build back up for my next session.

and as far as my son, I love him more than anything in the world. He's the biggest reason I'm still here, and not just "here" in this relationship, "here" as in safe, semi-sane, and alive.

We both know what's coming, it's just a hard fact to face, especially when that person is special in every other way. Had he chosen a different profession, I know that I wouldn't be faced with this decision.

oldman1776 79M
3164 posts
1/30/2006 4:37 pm

I wish I had the answer. It is some thing that only you can decide and I know its not an easy desision.

Hang in there I know you will make the right one.

rm_JUSTsex4me 37F
185 posts
1/30/2006 6:13 pm

oldman~ thanks for your kind words and believe me, I wish I knew the answer too. I just hope that when I figure it out I'll have the courage to make the right decision.

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