Wing Women?  

rm_JRoker1200 41M
4 posts
6/29/2005 2:04 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Wing Women?

This is actually something that happened to me over 3 months ago but since it was sort of a funny story I thought I'd relate it to y'all. It's not necassarily embarrassing you see it's just not something I'd be quick to brag to a friend about.

First, a little background. There aren't many people out there that are completely comfortable walking into a bar alone (especially one you've never been to) and sitting down to order a beer. I am not one of those people. That's not to say that my balls are any bigger than anyone else's or any goofy shit like that. It means that when I go to a bar, I go to get drunk. And when I get drunk I can't hold down a conversation with a napkin. Hence most guys (and gals for that matter but we'll get to that in a minute) will usually find comfort in a friend, usually referred to as the Wing Man.

For the 2 of you out there that don't know what it means to have a Wing Man, essentially it works like this. Let's say you see a hot girl across the bar, chit-chatting with a girlfriend, that you'd love to have a drink with or better yet get her drunk and see if you can get her to come home with you. The idea is that your designated Wing Man will distract the girlfriend or better yet drag her away to the dance floor so you can have the one you want all to yourself. Why? Because you know that annoying bitch is going to do everything you can to cock block your sorry ass. Of course the drawback to this method is that eventually it will be your turn to be the designated Wing Man and by the nature of the universe or just plain bad karma, you're going to get stuck with a real pig.

Now I might have this all wrong here. I've just been out long enough to see this manuever about a billion times and that's the way it appears to work from my point of view. Anybody who can clarify this, feel free. It should be noted here that women have the equivalent of the Wing Man. However, as stated earlier it is her job to counter the Wing Man attack, usually by announcing that they are gay lovers or something like that. As far as I'm aware, women don't use each other to corner a hot guy. Again if I'm wrong about this please enlighten me on your methods, I'm sure all of us guys would love to hear about them.

Sorry I'm getting sidetracked here. Anyway, so I walk into this bar called Stoly's (in Gahanna, Ohio where I grew up) and I plop myself down into a stool to order myself a nice tall frosty one. It doesn't take long for me to figure out that this is definately more of a club type atmosphere, not really the kind of place that you can just chill out and enjoy the jukebox and the clanking of beer bottles. The bar is pretty full, but not so packed that your elbows are crammed to your sides. I couldn't have been there more than five, ten minutes tops when a foxy little hardbelly slides into the stool next to mine. This woman was a goddess. About 5'5", maybe 120-125 pounds. You know, good figure without being skinny as a rail. Being the breast expert that I am I figured she had a 34C, long wavy brown hair, and ocean blue eyes that looked like you could just drown in them.

Immediately she introduces herself and asks me if she can order me a beer. Now, I swear that I'm not too shy when it comes to women. But in my lifetime I've had maybe 4 or 5 women ever that bought me a beer and not one of 'em looked like this. In other words, shit like this just don't happen to me everyday. So all I can do is nod my head towards my empty bottle and stare at her like a dumbass. She grabs the bartenders attention and before I know it there are 2 icy Coronas dripping with persperation in front of us and she's looking at me expectantly. Musta been at least half a dozen cats that had a death grip on my tongue but eventually I was able to spit out a few words and we finally started conversing.

I can't even remember what we talked about. My unease quickly evaporated and I even managed to be a little bit funny and she laughed appreciatively at the effort. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I just had to ask why the hell she picked me out of a bar full of guys to talk to. Again, I have no esteem issues whatsoever but something smelled fishy (no not that) and I've learned to trust my instincts.

Casually she reached into her purse and slipped a business card into my hand. She explained to me that she was an official "Wing Woman" and her job was to accompany a lonely guy that wanted to attract attention at the bar by being in the company of a beautiful woman. I glanced down at the card and sure as shit there was her name, number, available times, and hourly rates. At first I was confused, then a little angry, and finally I burst out laughing. Do I look like the kind of guy that needs your services I asked evenly but sincerely. She waves a hand towards the opposite side of the bar and says "Well can't you see how many guys are looking this way and wishing they were you or the ladys wondering if maybe they should have been over here talking to you instead?"

Without bothering to take my eyes off of her I politely handed her the card back and folded her hand around it. She quickly reached out and tucked the card into my front shirt pocket and insisted that I keep it. "Of course you don't need it but maybe you have a friend you could pass this on to that might". Ever the gentlemen, I assured her that I would, thanked her for the beer, and quickly made my way out of the bar.

So what's the point of this story? None really. It was just the first time I've ever heard of a "Wing Woman" being used for that purpose. Ya see where I come from they call those escorts and for just a little bit more money you can skip the bar and go straight to the sex. But I am curious, would a woman fall for that? Do women really find a man more interesting if they have a goddess like that hanging on their every word? And perhaps most importantly, do I really look like the kind of guy that needs that? Ponderous man, ponderous. Till later, peace.

pussinboots4u 51M/49F

6/29/2005 3:49 pm

I play this with a friend of my husbands, except I call it bait and switch. We go out - are obviously together - then every once in a while I go off to the bathroom or talk to my other friends - leave him alone every once in a while. Every time, and it never fails - he will leave with some girls number. He's pretty smart about this - he looks like the good guy, lets her know he likes her, let's her know that he and I are not serious be vague as to the situation, still he's feeling a little uncomfortable since we are here together, and he still leaves with me - so the girl still has respect for him. In the meantime while he is talking to her, I will give her a good look over every once in a while, talk minimally, leave with a sense of confidence every time I walk off.

It is not a goddess thing - it is about the perception a girl has when she sees a guy with another girl. They say that what the girl thinks is - now there is a guy willing to commit - they've done some psychological tests on this subject. Men also find married women attractive because they think that the married woman will not pressure him to commit.

Still LMAO that some girl has decided to make this into a business deal - LOL!!

rm_JRoker1200 41M

6/30/2005 6:01 am

LOL, bait and switch. Now that's a good one. It's interesting the difference between the men and the women. Women are drawn to the men (who are already with a woman) that they believe are willing to commit, and the men are attracted to married women that are less likely to want him to commit. Maybe this young lady is a friggin genius after all. Now where did I leave that card....

CuriousKitty675 43F
365 posts
7/11/2005 7:32 am

LOL! Great story JRoker! I cannot say I've ever heard of a professional "Wing Woman" before. It's kinda funny. And sad a bit too. Personally if a guy doesn't have that elusive 'thing' about them (that is different for every single human being on the face of the planet) they don't get my attention regardless of how many gorgeous women are hanging on him. In fact, (silly silly woman that she is) most women would be more intimidated by the fact that the fella in question has a gorgeous woman on his arm. Maybe it's just me, I don't like invading another female's territory and trying to challenge her claim.

However, girls do like to have the same as guys in the wing man thing. Only beware Wing Men of the world, there is one thing that will forever block you no matter what you try. The dreaded Ladies Room visit. We will always go together. We will always talk about the two fellas talking to us and we will either sacrifice our own personal hunting for the evening for the sake of our friend hooking up with one of the guys or we will find a way out of the situation. I myself have used the lesbian lovers thing a time or two, even going so far as to kiss each other to convince them that we were. Humans are such interesting creatures, aren't we? So unpredictable.

I like to go places alone myself. Sometimes it's lonely. Sometimes it's fun. I like to people watch and figure them out.

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