What should I do?  

rm_HotChariSma 32M
20 posts
6/19/2006 4:59 am

Last Read:
6/28/2006 8:56 am

What should I do?


2 days ago I had a great night with a girl.We were both drunk and suddenly I found myself having sex with her.It was one of the best sex experiences in my life.The girl knows how it works in bed and she is really good at sex.Also we had a great match and we enjoyed every part of time that we were together.But there`s a problem.That girl is one of my best friends and that shouldn`t be happen I think.We don`t love each other as lovers.Since it happened we haven`t met or talked.I guess she`s a bit regretful and I`m really confused! I don`t know what to do or what to think.Can anybody help me with this?

DIVISION77 41M
8337 posts
6/19/2006 5:50 am

You need to be mature about it.

It happened and there's nothing that can change that now.

Being direct works.

The friendship as it was is now over.

You can't fuck your friends and have it be the same.

I suppose the only way to go from here is to be FWB or to let her go.

No turning back.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


rm_HotChariSma 32M

6/19/2006 6:02 am

    Quoting DIVISION77:
    You need to be mature about it.

    It happened and there's nothing that can change that now.

    Being direct works.

    The friendship as it was is now over.

    You can't fuck your friends and have it be the same.

    I suppose the only way to go from here is to be FWB or to let her go.

    No turning back.

    DIV
You`re talking like it`s because of me and I`m the only guilty person.Maybe it was wrong but that wasn`t just my fault.She did her best to seduce me that night and finally she got what she wanted.She knows that too!


TnWitchyWoman 57F
6852 posts
6/19/2006 6:16 am

Having sex takes two. As long as you were both consenting adults there's NO blame to be placed so stop that now and stop her if she starts in with trying to lay blame (on either party) too. Depending on how mature both of you are you CAN go back to being "just" friends. You simply have to be willing to talk with each other, admit it was a mistake and decide to be strong in your convictions that being friends is really what you want (of course you have to be honest with yourself AND with each other that there's really not something more there). I'd also suggest that both of you agree not to consume alcohol when alone together again. It removed some inhibitions and sometimes those are best kept in check and we make poor decisions when intoxicated that we wouldn't otherwise do.

Good luck!
Lori


DIVISION77 41M
8337 posts
6/19/2006 7:18 am

    Quoting rm_HotChariSma:
    You`re talking like it`s because of me and I`m the only guilty person.Maybe it was wrong but that wasn`t just my fault.She did her best to seduce me that night and finally she got what she wanted.She knows that too!
No.

I'm not intimating that it was solely your fault at all, bro.

It takes two.

But as the man, I think it's on you to decide how to shape the relationship now.

I told you what I think you should do.

Keep her strictly as a fuckfriend or let her go...

The friendship can never be what it was before.

You will understand that as time passes.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


rm_HotChariSma 32M

6/19/2006 8:32 am

    Quoting TnWitchyWoman:
    Having sex takes two. As long as you were both consenting adults there's NO blame to be placed so stop that now and stop her if she starts in with trying to lay blame (on either party) too. Depending on how mature both of you are you CAN go back to being "just" friends. You simply have to be willing to talk with each other, admit it was a mistake and decide to be strong in your convictions that being friends is really what you want (of course you have to be honest with yourself AND with each other that there's really not something more there). I'd also suggest that both of you agree not to consume alcohol when alone together again. It removed some inhibitions and sometimes those are best kept in check and we make poor decisions when intoxicated that we wouldn't otherwise do.

    Good luck!
    Lori
OK,I will listen to you.I`ll try to talk to her and take some responsibilities.I hope things will get better.Thanks for your help


rm_HotChariSma 32M

6/19/2006 8:38 am

    Quoting DIVISION77:
    No.

    I'm not intimating that it was solely your fault at all, bro.

    It takes two.

    But as the man, I think it's on you to decide how to shape the relationship now.

    I told you what I think you should do.

    Keep her strictly as a fuckfriend or let her go...

    The friendship can never be what it was before.

    You will understand that as time passes.

    DIV
I don`t want to keep her as a fuck buddy coz I really like her and she`s not that type of girl.I know our friendship will never be like it used to be but at least I will try.Thanks anyway bro...


SmallTightKitty 59F

6/19/2006 9:59 am

I totally agree with both Division77 and TNWITCHYWOMAN. From a mans point of view DIV is being straight up with you and he is also right. And from a ladies point of view TWW is also right. As for myself, if you really care for this young lady I think you should call her ask her to meet you at a public place but somewhere very quite so the two of you can REALLY talk this through. It is very easy to see that you have very strong feelings for her. Maybe even in love with her. Think about it, your afraid of losing her..first sign of being in love sometimes.


swooness 36F

6/19/2006 7:04 pm

yes, the relationship has changed, no going back. but, there is nothing that states that things can not go back to the ways that they were before. just understand that it will take TIME. let her know that you still want to talk, that you still want to be friends. encourage her to talk to you, but if she shows no signs of communication, give her her space and some time. things will work out if you want them to, and no matter what the outcome, make sure she knows that you will always be there for her - a sure sign of your dedication toward your friendship


sexylady192006 30F
20 posts
6/23/2006 4:42 am

i think that if you were both willing then you both need to sit down and talk about it like mature adults. you need to figure out whats going on between the two of you i know what im talking about because i have been in the same situation. we decided that are friendship was more inportant then just being fuck buddies or friends with benifits as you would say.


rm_HotChariSma 32M

6/28/2006 8:56 am

I called her to talk about this event last night.When we started talking she acted like nothing happened and everything`s OK.But I was uneasy.Then I reminded what happened between us.At first she didn`t want to talk but I wanted to solve the problems.After that she started crying,I didn`t know what to do.I said we`re still friends and we`ll overcome our problems.Then she said that she loves me for a long time as a lover but couldn`t tell me because she was afraid to ruin eveything.That was a shock for me! I didn`t know what to say again.Afterwards she said she didn`t want to talk at that moment and hang up the phone.She didn`t call back.I`m so confused right now! I like her as a friend and I don`t want to lose her! My feelings and thoughts are so complicated.Everything`s more messed up now,damn damn damn!


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