rm_Honeyluce 46F
12 posts
8/18/2006 4:06 pm

Ive just got back from holiday, had a chilled time, good company etc.. While i was there i got to thinking about my life, what i want out of it and what it means to me..

(of course this train of thought was propted after serveral chats with my chikolita friends who are going though a hard time at the mo.... i should add that i was not on the booze!! Believe. If all of us were,we would need air trafic control in the fight for air space!!)

Any how listening to her and giving views got me thinking..

On parts of my life that I want, can and really should be changed. Why dont i?? Cos i lack confidence.. which was my mates problem.. sad ah??!!
Im telling her to go for it - giving her the ego boost that she needs.. and then the realisation downs on me, im the same as her.. Im letting life pass me cos i dont have the confidence to grab it.

So why is it that my head tells me i can do things but then feeling Jump up and shout NO NO dont do it, u cant, ur look silly, u wont fit in.

Why do we let them hold us back?

I know i shouldnt let them and i now that part of what couses my doubt is what will people think of me, how will they judge me? Cos come on people judge others.. we all do.

An at the end of the day what does it matter???
Who are they to me??

I know im intelligent and can put my mind and hands to anything.. well almost. If it interests me!! Oh and doesnt involve me risking my life!!

Proof is in the pudding.. past events shows this.

People think im confident, so if i can act it, then the more i do, i should start feelin it???

Any ways, i got back of hols with more energy and more of a will to start to change things..

i know i cant do it over night - which would be great.. but by writing this blog i can come back and read it to give me a kick up the arse when im procratinating..

I have to chage the things that i can and learn to accept the things i cant.

I can do what ever i put my mind to and i will..

I need to try to put more energy into wanting things and making them happen..
i know im not happy so why dont i change them? what stops me? ME thats what!!!

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