Mourning What Was Never Mine  

rm_Elysia2005 44F
512 posts
8/8/2005 4:27 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Mourning What Was Never Mine

An odd day, an odd weekend really. A couple of things happened recently that just hit me in the gut. One, is that yet another potential "Adult Friend" from here has gotten snatched up before I ever really had a chance (yes, I'm talking about you, you know who you are LOL but it's okay, I still love to talk to you), which called to mind similar, non-A F F situations in the past. Guys I could-have-should-have-would-have. And that was just compounded by something I had recently written about in my "normal" blog... The One That Got Away. Id' rather not re-hash ALL the details here, but suffice it to say, in one sense he was never really mine, and in another he was the great love of my life (and, I firmly believe I was his as well). Fourteen years later, I would still give anything to have just one or two pivotal moments back, to do over again.

Is it right, is it fair, is it acceptable, to mourn the loss of something that was never yours? Should I feel ashamed of this lump in my throat, of the tears in my eyes every time I think of the last conversation, the last desperately failed attempt to resurrect the past? Should I feel a twinge of guilt for the girl he belonged to, in name, all those years ago?

If I had one more chance, would I? Of course I would. If it would throw off my delicately balanced personal life? Yes, I probably still would. It's hard to turn your back on the love of a lifetime, and at the end of the day, that's what he is.

jimmy_j_76 41M
94 posts
8/9/2005 6:58 am

unfortunally for me things like that happent to me all the time. i'm a bit(understatement) on the shy side. at 28(29 on the 19)of all the girls i'v known, there are only 3 i wish i had the courage to talk to and tell them how i felt. i'm not really talking sexual wise but what i think of them, afterwards what ever happens happens. and right now, ever though she had a bf, i'm letting another one get away.

NewJackSwing 44M

8/9/2005 3:08 pm

Hindsight is such a crazy thing hun. There have been a few in my life that have gotten away as well and I am kicking myself STILL for it. If I could have done things differently I sure would have ... maybe try a bit harder when the signals were clear that there was interest in me but to only not read the signals right.

Now having said that, there have been ones that I have told I have liked yet to only find out the feeling was not mutual. I mean, I was liked but not like THAT .. you know .. the whole "you're a great friend BUT ..."

What I do know from talking to you is that you are a very kind,funny and good person. I have every confidence someone will snap you up. And when they do .. look out .. it's the steal of a life time! (or else I'll have to snap you myself! *winks*)

Keep that beautiful face up and keep smiling ...

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