Saying Goodbye to an Ex:  

rm_Ellenback 59F
903 posts
2/8/2006 8:30 pm

Last Read:
6/11/2006 8:41 am

Saying Goodbye to an Ex:

I said goodbye months ago, but I seem to have to keep saying it to him. Tonight he called, left a long rambling voicemail, tempting me to want to call him back which I know I can 't do.

Am I missing him? Not really, most of the time I'm not at all upset about this anymore, the anger at his choices of substances over me has been long-settled. Do I miss his anger, moods, rages and hole-punching in the walls? No, not in the least. All that f*ing drama, frustrating in its' intensity, with no room for me to focus on what I want. I was so damn busy taking care of everyone else, I lost me in the process.

Now I'm finding me again, but it's rocky at best, especially when I start to rely on a chat room to provide me with the sustenance of comfort, warmth on a chilly night, reliable, sturdy and cheerful. But, I forgot that sometimes it doesn't work, it's not 100% effective in slaying the dragon, allying the loneliness, and when one is sad, the fake air can be frosty and empty.

I think I'm just grieving, AGAIN, the loss of a long-term relationship that I thought would last forever. It's harder for the person that leaves than the one left behind.

I traveled the long road,
Just so you would listen
I traveled the long road
Just me and my intuition
Nobody seemed to understand
Just why I left with the clothes on my back
They asked why such a drastic change
I just know that my decision will put me on track

That's why i traveled the long road
So I can smile again
Feel good inside again
Maybe even laugh again
Hey, and so I travel..,

Jully Black


rm_bri28ma 40M
357 posts
2/9/2006 6:43 am

Ending relationships are always hard, even if it's what's best for you. There's something about losing the potential for acceptance and love of another that leaves a sort of hole...even if there was neither acceptance nor true love. The best we can do is learn to love ourselves. Once that happens, it shows, others respond to it who have had the same kind of awakening, and we realy can begin to love again. Warm hugs. -Bri

rm_Ellenback 59F
966 posts
2/9/2006 7:47 am

((((squishyboooobyhugs)))) to Bri

Just for being literate, sensible, and yet not boring...and I'm definitely working on the self-love thing, particularly when I look at your picture (omg did I just sayyyy that?)

rm_bri28ma 40M
357 posts
2/9/2006 9:41 am

Thanks for the appreciation...not to mention the squishyboobyhugs . I hope you enjoy your self-loving . Soft gropes and neck nibbles. -Bri

online4now 52F

2/9/2006 12:12 pm

sounds like similar reasons i left my husband 14 years ago
---keep going forward and dont' look back

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