Cinderella has cramps  

rm_Dysgyzed 47F
3068 posts
6/1/2006 6:40 am

Last Read:
6/2/2007 1:17 am

Cinderella has cramps

For angelofmercy5

Well, some time passed, and Cinderella was desperate to go to another dance, but she had *horrible* period cramps.

She was bitchy and bloated and a general pain in the ass, so in order to shut her the hell up, the Fairy Godmother appeared once again.

She said:

"Now, I know you've got cramps, so here's a magic tampon. You'll feel wonderful, but I'm Warning 12 midnight, the tampon will turn into a pumpkin, and we'd have one helluva time getting it out, so have your little hot to trot ass back here by midnight!!!"

Off Cinderella went to the dance to see who she could con into giving her a gold ball, uhhh...I mean... con into giving her more special made high-heels. (Because of course, there's *always* a con).

11:30 arrives and the Godmother is really anticipating hearing in great detail exactly what happened at the dance (she was a voyeur, ya know).

11:55 comes, and still… no Cinderella.
Midnight rolls around, and the Godmother is nearly frantic with worry. She tried to call CinderSlut's cell phone but *surprise* it was turned off.

The Godmother is in a near fit when Cinderella comes stumbling in at 3AM, reeking of Senator's Club blended whiskey, smoke, and sex sweat. Her dress is slit up to the hip, and her hair is matted to her head. She has this lopsided grin, and keeps giggling.

The Godmother is Highly Pissed and starts screaming about magic tampons and pumpkins and how irresponsible Cinder is when the drunken hussy slurs:

"Ah, hell. Don't worry. I met a really great guy. His name is Peter Peter!"

Feel better AngelO...this is one of my signature jokes, and I'm Hoping that laughter *is* the best medicine!

rm_FreeLove999 47F
16127 posts
6/1/2006 7:10 am

... that is soooo hilarious ... !!

[blog freelove999]

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
6/1/2006 7:37 am


rm_zahuma2 51M
459 posts
6/1/2006 8:10 am

LOL ....


4206 posts
6/1/2006 8:34 am

hehehehehe!!!! I needed that Glimmersis!!! Where are all the Peter Peters when you need em though?? Certainly not in the great state of West VA...oh well...lotsa smooches sweetie...QueenB

Come on over...let's play in my Castle! The hide and seek is awesome!


PrincessKarma 45F
6188 posts
6/1/2006 9:22 am

*falls off her chair laughing*

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
6/1/2006 12:25 pm

OMG!!!! I almost wet my pants when I got to the punchline! Thank you my sweet friend for all the laughter! I've got to link this one in my's too great not to share.

rm_anacortes 75M
2850 posts
6/1/2006 12:25 pm

Did you REALLY write that???

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
6/1/2006 12:46 pm

Girl! You are a nut! I really needed that laugh today!

Purry {=}


rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
6/1/2006 12:48 pm

I always knew you were so talented..........and that just proves it

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
6/1/2006 1:15 pm

That is incredibly twisted. Love it.

southrnpeach333 51F

6/1/2006 1:23 pm

the perfect joke for my cramps!!! i love it.

campfirecozy 68M

6/1/2006 1:41 pm are so sick...and I love it! LOL

VATraveler1948 69M

6/1/2006 1:45 pm

I just followed the trail of pumpkin seed from Angel's blog. Great joke!

firestarter665 43M/40F

6/1/2006 2:52 pm

OMG this is soooooooo funny!

HBowt2 60F

6/1/2006 3:02 pm

wonderfully pervy....sooooooooo funny....thanks....

rm_cru1972 46M
4407 posts
6/1/2006 3:07 pm

OMG Too hilarious. You are a woderful friend to do that.

lovemetouchme5 52F
2102 posts
6/1/2006 4:25 pm

This really made my DAY!!!! Thank you! (BTW, Cinderella is my favorite Disney Character!)

sexyariesgirl 58F

6/1/2006 5:14 pm

Oh God this is SOOOOOOOOOO funny!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you! And thanks to Angel for the link!

Power To FOK

rm_yukonpaul 52M
1120 posts
6/1/2006 5:49 pm

I don't get it. I'm not kidding, I don't understand the punchline.

Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
6/1/2006 7:05 pm

LMAO!!! That's too funny!!!


rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
6/1/2006 7:40 pm

I think you could use this joke to separate the men from the girls, given the comments ... LOL!


6/1/2006 8:48 pm

ROTFLMAOThat was the best... thanks

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

rm_Kissmystuff 62F
1435 posts
6/1/2006 9:09 pm

Now that would make a great movie sequel to the original..for adults of course. Good one!



curious082385 32F
4925 posts
6/2/2006 12:54 am

Ouch...choking on soda!
That was great!!!

rm_yukonpaul 52M
1120 posts
6/2/2006 2:42 am

Thanks for explaining it to me. Now I must echo everyone else's comments - fucking hilarious!

rm_shannee2006 53F
3355 posts
6/2/2006 6:35 am

OMG that is just too funny. Lmao! Great joke!!!

Yup...this juiciness is from me....


rm_mariner464 71M
40 posts
6/2/2006 8:54 pm

You promised NOT to use my nick-name! LOL
I'll forgive you .... your sexy!

SleekIcilyVarix 42M

6/2/2006 10:15 pm

lol...thanks D...needed a laugh.
You might enjoy Confessions of an Ugly Step Sister by Gregory Maguire...not as dirty, and certainly not as hilarious, but a good read

LabioBent 106M
2082 posts
6/3/2006 2:45 am


UR cute!


rocko1019 67M

6/3/2006 4:19 am

Funny how none of the men including myself didn't get it. Of course none of us remember nursery rhemes either I guess. Very strange. Anyway, thanks for the joke, laughs, and explanation.

libgemOH 57M/53F

6/3/2006 5:57 am

I LOVE IT!!!!!! -B

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
6/4/2006 2:35 pm

well it certainly made me feel better

I'm a

i'm here to stay

rm_tonyoscar2 47M
2 posts
6/4/2006 7:21 pm

that was funny mabey you could e mail me more at tonywool

LiquidMotoXX 57M
79 posts
6/5/2006 1:16 am

Funny post.

Priapeo 47M

6/5/2006 2:59 am

Mmmm... i think I miss the reference to your folklore/songs/rhymes. I knew a similar version of this joke though, where Cinderella\'s pussy would turn at 12 pm into a cantaloupe. At dinner the prince devours one after another three melons and when he asks her \"at what time must you return home?\" she answers \"well... 2-3 am\"

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience

bebe_mic13 36M
2 posts
6/5/2006 4:35 am

hello.....u wanna speak with me,or not?

bebe_mic13 36M
2 posts
6/5/2006 4:37 am

i don't belive u

MaggiesWishes 61F

6/5/2006 3:38 pm

Yelp, gotta love a good Mother Goose, I mean Fairy ... ah heck...

warm huggies 2ya

rm_ClitPumper1 50M
273 posts
6/7/2006 12:57 pm

Cinderella just needs the fucking of her dismal life.

I know for a fact that vigorous sex remedies cramps.

Experience is the best teacher.

hackohio 54M

6/7/2006 9:19 pm


redhot4cock 57F

6/9/2006 3:43 pm

Thanks for the laugh...that's the funniest thing I've seen today!


RevJoseyWales 70M/67F
14393 posts
6/10/2006 2:56 pm

Now see, the one time I DON'T comment, and look at all of the responses you get. You're listed as one of the most active recent posts. Gee, now everyone knows how cool your blog is. Wish I could play with the trolls, but you don't need help. I miss all the fun! Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

RevJoseyWales 70M/67F
14393 posts
6/11/2006 6:27 pm

Wow, 4 PAGES of comments. Impressive. But you deserve. You DO write really good stuff. You are NEVER a pouty whiny bitch! OK, a bitch at times, but never pouty or whiney. I'm trying to remember my manners and not go after your trolls. I do so enjoy a game of whack a troll. But you get them good yourself. Like I said, I miss ALL the fun! I just feel like trashing an asshole or two, and they won't come near me anymore. I'm gonna go listen to Jimmy Buffet's "A Pirate Looks at 40". I'm hung over like a bitch. Back to work tomorrow. God I hate my job! WHERE'S MY ROBATUSSIN! Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

rm_gwalker_oh 56M
54 posts
7/6/2006 4:05 pm

A., you'll forgive me, I trust, for ALMOST not making it past
"she had *horrible* period cramps ... She was bitchy and bloated and a general pain in the ass". 'Cause I'm thinkin' "yeah right, like I want to read *that*!" (in this, at least, I'm typical man).

I'm glad I stayed to the end, though. What a great laugh! thanks, -G.

rm_gwalker_oh 56M
54 posts
7/7/2006 2:00 pm

You've got to be kidding, you flaming damn bitch!

*MAYBE*, if we were long-time lovers and living together, AND if you were like in bed with a 105 fever, then I *MIGHT* do it. But "feel quite comfortable"? Gimme a break!

just horsin' around, you know. Cheers, -G.

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