Man's best friend?...My worst Nightmare!!  

61 posts
7/17/2006 10:29 am

Last Read:
5/2/2007 2:03 pm

Man's best friend?...My worst Nightmare!!

It was a beautiful weekend was'nt it?. I decided to have a cookout so I rounded up the usual suspects and got them en route to my place. One of my friends from work asked if she could invite her new neighbor and I had no objections. They arrived separately and unbeknownst to her he brought along his Golden Retriever "Goldie" (how clever). Maybe I'm way out of line here, after all..I didn't specify "NO DOGS" but I have never interpreted an invitation to a strangers house to automatically include members of the 4-legged community so I thought it was a "given". I also neglected to mention "NO wild Cougars" but thankfully nobody brought one (even though the Cougar may have had better table manners).

The next several hours seemed to pass by in slo-motion as this Golden Monster staked his claim on my home. I watched in horror as this furry, arrogant bastard pissed on my fence, dug holes in my garden, ate half my flowers, jumped up on everybody within reach (mind you, this SOB weighs over a hundred pounds) knocking every child and more than one innebriated adult to the ground. That was all before dinner. As we started the BBQ he hung around the grill with his mouth wide open, mauling the cook and trying to grab every piece of meat which passed by him. My Chef for the evening fought him off valiantly by smacking him with a spatula several times..NOW, I dont condone cruelty to animals in any way, shape or form but this Judas was completely out of control and I whispered to Andy..."Next time use the fork". I think the owner heard me and pulled himself away from his "pick-up" session long enough to shout an obligatory "Goldie...NO" before returning to his Margarita (made with my finest Cuervo 1800)...oh by the way, Mr. Wonderful brought a 6-er of PBR which was never touched..not even by him.

Dinner was a whole new experience for me. How many people hate dogs who beg at the table?? (show of hands). This one could'nt be bothered to sit and wait for someone to feed his sorry ass so he jumped up on the table with his fucking muddy feet and ran off with a half-o'chicken from an occupied guest. At this point nothing could shock me so the comment by the owner just went in one ear and steamed out the other as he said with a country grin.." U gotta watch UR food around old Goldie...Hyuk". Obviously, it was time for this Country Bumpkin and his "hound from hell" to go. Thank god for my friend, my saviour...Andy. Now let me tell you a thing or two about Andy. He's the sweetest, kindest guy I have ever met but he runs about 6'5" - 260 lbs. and when a man that size tells you to jump, you say "how high". He grabbed that dog by the collar and drug the MF'er whining and howling over to Mr. Jackass, then he kneeled down and looked him right in the face with the sincerest expression I have ever witnessed and calmly proclaimed..." I think it's time for y'all to go " There was dead silence except for the wailing of the dog and the dog owner didnt say a word...he got up, took his dog and left with a look on his face like he had just escaped death.

Andy escorted Goldie and the "Asshole" out into the front yard, watched him drive away and then returned to his meal and apologized to everyone for "not doing something sooner"...What a Man. If I didn't know that his lovely wife would crush my spine like an accordion I would have slept with him right then and there...Who says "Chivalry is dead"

bikerbabe57701 50F

7/17/2006 11:00 am

I have a "beast dog" myself. I have to admit she's part of the reason I keep guests to a minimum at my house, so that similar events like yours don't occur. I understand your frustration as the "hostess" because it's just like having someone's kid wreck havoc in your house when you don't have children. I don't push my beast on others, I know enough to keep my four legged pain in the ass home. It's simple respect. I would be horrified if my dog got into peoples food.

twoforone100 47M/43F  
1161 posts
7/17/2006 3:20 pm

Well that sounds like a wild party. Marley my 13 yo lab is invited most places I go. I do ask before he comes with me. He is very well trained. He does not beg. Hell he has none of the bad habits you listed. Dogs like that last about two mins around me. I agree with the kid comment. They get in to everything and destroy stuff. I would rather have a well trained dog than a wild child in my house anyday. Just how we feel about it. YMMV Patrick Pattie

Ring_Master86 31M
6 posts
7/21/2006 5:05 am

Damn, I love dogs, but that was way outta line. I'd have had him out the door right about the same time, if not sooner. And I try my best to keep chivalry alive, too so yeah give Andy my best.

daveVA121973 44M

7/23/2006 11:27 am

Who says chivalry is dead. I can't believe that your friend from work didn't say something though.

greyrider1971 46M

7/24/2006 1:54 pm

I work at a kennel in Midlothian. I believe owners should be trained not the dog.Rude as hell in my opinion and I might have even let him know that.Good luck on your next cookout....Grey

43 posts
7/25/2006 3:58 pm

Thanks for the support everyone. I hate to sound like a whiny Bitch but I have my limits.


P.S. I totally agree with "Owner training"

Sethandsunny 52M/52F
119 posts
7/25/2006 6:52 pm

I have a 100 lb German Shepard, and she does not do well around certain types of people (loud teenage boys) and certain situations (lots of people she does not know) so we either chain her up or lock her in the upstairs bedroom when we want to have people over.

It was not the dogs fault, it was totally the owner, and he seemed to be a complete clueless yutz of all types wrapped in one.

And before anyone says we are cruel to her, when she is locked in the bedroom she has her water and a chew toy, and I usually find she is asleep in front of the AC vent when she is up there.

When she is chained, she has water and shade, and after she wears herself out pulling on the chain for a while she becomes calm enogh to let loose.

I don't mind her ill socail graces, because she is also our watch dog, and if you ignore the "beware of dog' signs, hop the fence and run in my yard unescorted, you'll need stiches.

But I never take her or put her in a situation she will make anyone uncomfortable.

Invite us next time, we'll make salsa.


West End, Richmond, Henrico, Glenside, Virginia, Shortpump

007sexy40plus 52F  
7603 posts
7/26/2006 5:23 pm

Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. you've got a kool place over here...

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"

rm_poetictrance 52M/49F
21 posts
8/5/2006 9:27 am

OMG this was funny!

i mean i know it was obviously a pain-in-the-butt experience, but the way you painted the picture was freakin hilarious!

you have a true gift for words.


pen25713 52M

8/7/2006 3:37 pm

Wow.....what a embarassing situation to be in in front of all your other friends.

The problem is....most animals are smarter than thier owners...surely the guy knew his dog would be poorly mannered around food....

......but else what would you expect, the owner (Mr. Redneck) was probably very poorly behaved around women also, LOL.

imafunnybugger 47M

8/14/2006 7:03 pm

I have a 150 pound Newfoundland who tries to misbehave like that on the if given the chance. I would never in my wildest dreams take him with me to a BBQ, especially if I had never met the hostesss (vey bizarre). My monster doesn't anywhere near my guests, in case he tries it on with them.

It was a well written story too! Painted a very funny picture, even though it was a day from hell for you.

rm_Diddy4269 36M

8/15/2006 3:40 pm

see that's my problem w/ dogs. I love dogs but i always end up w/ some puppy who grows up to be a gigantic beast of an animal that i can't control. If i lived out in the sticks somewhere i wouldn't worry about it but when you don't have alot of land for them to run around in it can be kind of difficult.

i guess that's why i stick w/ cats...less work lol

dragonfire13612 37M
36 posts
8/26/2006 6:58 pm

I have a small 50lb pitbull named Goofy; his name fits him perfectly, that is the complete opposite of that dog (he runs under the bed during thunderstorms). I always find it funny as hell when I hear about dogs like that one.

lickemanddickem2 65M
10 posts
8/26/2006 8:51 pm

what a blog: a real sitcom. I luv dogs and most all animals. i raise Mine' Schnausers and hate people who let there animals be a pain in the butt. Almost as bad as people who let there childern be a pain.
chester is a doll and some lucky guy is going to get it all.

wntsomass 51M

9/18/2006 8:32 pm

WOW CP next time invite a few orientals and they can have some BBQ dog....just kidding..I know that was terrible..but funny." God bless the the starving pigmys down in New Guinea." I have a 50 lb Blue heeeler that goes with me EVERYWHERE, but if he acts like an asshole, he gets sent to the truck. I would have never let him out at a function like that. Like your blogs darlin..good luck on here. Don't drink too many of those pbr's LOL make ya have stinky farts

BatBoy1963_43 54M

9/20/2006 7:58 pm

Interesting story, CP.
I agree with all the posts about the rudeness of the owner and the lack of action on your friend-from-works' part.
Good thing you have a friend like Andy to put things in "perspective."
I've known types of guys like you described, especially the bring-the-cheap-beer and drink-the-good-stuff kind of guy.
The last good party I went to, I brought a house"warming" gift of Jagermiester(sp) and another type of liquor. The host's couldn't believe it, but it went well with the great townhouse that they shared.
I haven't met a Catholic-girl like you before. Too bad you aren't in my parish!

rm_nooner19482 70M

9/29/2006 3:56 pm

Hey thinks for visiting my blog , but it is what is happening to 3 of us..sorry but i am living it!

hotandinheat69 46M
3 posts
11/13/2006 2:19 pm

Hi sweetness,

THAT was very funny... in a "Hell No" kinda way! Lol

Yes, I've had MY share of house/party guests from hell too! Some people just don't get it do they? Lol And let's give Andy a "Hoo Yah" and "Hell Yeah!" So, when is your next BBQ? I PROMISE to leave the dog (I don't have one) and the wife (traded her in long ago) home... Lol

Have a GREAT night!

rm_tricky12355 63M
19 posts
11/20/2006 2:18 pm

it's not the dogs fault,

twoforone100 47M/43F  
1161 posts
12/14/2006 4:43 am

Yeah that dog seems like a beast. We just lost our 13 yo lab marley. He was everything that dog was not. Take a look at the pic. There on the sofa with people all around. Patrick Pattie

want_oneormore 62M
1 post
1/8/2007 11:32 am

I have four dogs, all of which beg (nicely...they will sit and watch, but NEVER jump up on a table or grab from a plate!) Even their staring annoys me, but I've relegated myself to the fact that they are at least well-behaved within their limits.
Maybe it's becuase I have dogs, but I'd have grabbed the mutt and isolated him immediately if that happened at my party! Then I'd have pulled my "office friend" aside and given her the chance to talk with the dogs owner before I did. I'm afraid I'd have done exactly what Andy did, but less diplomatically! Kudos to him! This idiot with the dog is not a dog lover. He's someone who displays the his animal as some sort of status symbol! I hope your office friend takes all this into account before she get's in any deeper!
And how low class is it to invite your own out-of-control animal, bring a sixer of the America's cheapest beer, and help yourself to the hospitality of a relative stranger while ignoring your dog wreaking havoc with everyone!
If you ask me, Andy was too polite!

rm_six_five_guy 46M

4/30/2007 8:00 am

I have a 5 month old lab/border collie mix. She better trained than that Golden, but it's not because she's a genius or anything. It's because I have taken the time to train her. Dogs are animals, and if they're not trained, they'll act like animals. Some people do the same thing with their kids. Ever been to a bbq where there are some kids that are out of control, and some that are well-behaved? Same thing applies--it's all in the parenting (that's why I have a dog, and no kids--no offense to the parents), it's just that I believe dogs are easier to train, and they don't live as long

Anyway, you can tell a lot about people from their dogs. Obviously this guy was disrespectful right from the start--not asking if you can bring your dog somewhere is pretty lame...
I bring my dog everywhere I go, but she only goes to peoples houses WITH permission. It's called courtesy...

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