Fucking Words!!!!  

rm_BigDnLady 44M/42F
1214 posts
5/7/2006 9:43 pm

Last Read:
5/14/2006 9:39 am

Fucking Words!!!!

My mother and I were not close as I grew up. We have two very different personalities. She would always tell me of how I was just like my father. My mother and father divorced when I was four and my brother was ten. My father, truthfully, during their marriage, did not know the meaning of the words "faithful" or "fidelity" . I use to think how could she say that I was just like my father, he was an asshole, a womanizer. But as I grew older, and on the few ocassions I did talk with my father, I did begin to realize our personality similarities. However, they aren't all negative, as she wanted me to believe. My dad and I don't take too much shit from anyone, we enjoy a good drink on ocassion, him more so than I, and neither of us could deal with living up to my mother's expectations. My dad and I can argue about anything, but the next thing you know we are saying we love each other. He did my mother wrong in every sense of the word, but there are times I understand what he was searching for but didn't find in her. We have discussed the subject many times through the years, and has finally admitted his faults.

Moving on, my mother could be a cruel woman at times to me. I have had my share of "whippings" that are talked about in the south, and use to feel I needed to shout that my name was "Toby" . But the thing I remember most is when she told me that no man would love a "fat girl" going as far to say that my husband at the time was gonna leave me if I didn't lose weight. Her words gave me a complex for a long period of time, until I began to like and eventually love myself. Our relationship has always been rocky. Guess that is why I am 30 years old and I have never told her about my , or about the other abusive relationships in my past. I have come to accept that, even though she has refused to accept me for the woman I am. I use to try to get her to understand who I am, yet have grown tired. I don't feel that I should have to explain the woman I have become. I like who I am, and don't care if anyone, and I mean anyone doesn't like it!!

Has anyone in your life ever said anything, that really crushed your spirit? Have you ever tried to explain who you were to someone, and you found it fruitless? What has someone said to you that you have NEVER forgotten?

Kisses

Lady



SexyRycheBabe 46F
820 posts
5/7/2006 10:31 pm

Oooohhhh there's too much there to quickly reply to in a comment box. Sorry. What I do know is that I poured myself an Iron Will that absolutely cannot be broken by anybody.

My hope for you is that you let this wisdom you've found carry you through life and use it as a learning tool for what not to do when you have your own children. (Plus, I would limit mom's interaction w/the kids, too. No sense in letting her negativity and cruelness be directed towards them.)


MOfunNOWWOW 56F

5/13/2006 3:29 pm

My MOM aka MOMzilla. I have made peace and comprehend she is the poison to herself. To this day she says she is so thankful I am where I am and proud BUT...there is always a but. Water off a duck baby...quack quack!


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


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