What would you do.................  

rm_Bct2Esi 52M/51F
998 posts
3/1/2006 8:12 am
What would you do.................

Before I jet out the door for a job interview. There is a question that has been haunting me. I would like all of your help as to how you would handle this?

Kate and I have discussed this, I am bringing to all of my friends here as well.

I applied for a job, not one time did get a phone call for an interview. I am very qualified for this position. So after seeing it come and go in the paper. I got up the nerve to email and ask "why" the following is the response I got back her.

Good Afternoon:
After reviewing your resume I have some constructive feedback to give you. Your resume is clean, but I would take out the section entitled domestic engineer. Although I completely understand what you are trying to accomplish, we all are domestic engineers everyday, but it is unprofessional to have it on your resume. Also in our organization we provide treatment for Drug and Alcohol abuse and don’t find particularly funny when referred to as a “joke”.[/color/
Thank you for your interest, but your resume was not chosen for this round of interviewing.
Good Luck in your job search.

I was going to shoot her back this response letter, still have not done it "YET"

My response to her:

Thank you for your honesty, I have removed a job that I am very proud of, especially when so many families cant stay togather and our divorce rate is so high as well as our Drug and alcohol stories off the charts

Please shred my resume, after careful consideration, I have opted not to work with more Drug and alcohol related issues. My best friend who has been in and out of rehab and these programs for over 10 plus years now, and cant kick the habit. Is moving in with us and asking for my(our) help. My Mother in law just called me today and asked me to talk with my nephew, who is once again in trouble with the law for Drugs and alcohol, and has taken your classes and cant seem to kick the habit. Oh and she wanted me to also talk with my sister n law who is also knee deep in alcohol and does Drugs off and on.

The reason for this is because my Oldest niece who has been out of Federal lock up for over a year now, for Drugs and alcohol related crimes, and clean for over a year with out the use of your programs, couldn't seem to get her mother and brother to listen to her. What does she know, after all her other brother is still in Prison for Drug and alcohol related crimes, who also took the classes that you offer and cant kick the habit. My Mother in law wants me to keep writing to him in prsion so he can hopefully see the benefits of a life without the use of Drugs or alcohol.

I grew up in a NOT so great family. It has been my sense of humor, the determination to NOT be a victim, that has kept me from going down the same road that many of my maternal and paternal family as well as my In laws and friend have choosen.

You see, I am faced with this on a daily bases. It is my sense of humor that seems to get me through life, so I think you are right, I don't think my sense of humor is what this place needs as you stated.

I do appreciate your honesty I have removed a job that I am proud of.
I will continue on my job search

Now the question I have is....this persons boss is my next door neighbor. I recieved a sticky sweet phone call from this very person yesterday asking me if I would like to work there temporary for now....sounding like she was being coached...she said "but it is likely to go full time" its NOT the position that I have applied for more then once and am very qualified for. The add is still in todays paper

Do I go and take all my evidence to my next door neighbor and show him who the real problem is as to why he can't keep help. Do I just let it go and tell them NO thanks on the job offer? Shoot this email back to her?

Off to my job interview and NOT with this company

Hugs and smiles to all
thanks for all your encouragement and prayers

rm_Bct2Esi 52M/51F
1375 posts
3/15/2006 7:49 am

Yep she is, still doesn't realy remember things and still argues with me on it...natural though

I am still proud of you, that takes great courage and gutts

Yesterday at a job interview I told them the truth on what I could bring to the establishment. I thought of you, and how you help, so maybe with my background. I could help. NOPE I don't have a paper degree, I have the real deal degree

Keep being true to yourself

Thank you for you

hugs and smiles

sexloverocknroll 58M
415 posts
3/11/2006 8:49 am

Sure hope your daughter is okay!!! My son got into an automobile accident last night, but there were no injuries. He was driving his friend’s mother’s car for them. The friend’s father came over here and was a total jackass about it, blaiming my son's friend and cussing all that. All I can say is “but for the grace God, there go I.”

Thanks for the accolades! Yeah, it has been extremely difficult at times, like loosing all my friends and everything I know as truth and not getting dates or having places to go in small town Wyoming. My life is just so much better for it all. The desire returns at times. I have a very tough go of it at times, but usually it is not so bad. I loved that job at the hospital, but my life path and my service are elsewhere. Thanks again, nice meeting you!

If you get the chance, I started a bog on AdultFriendFinder, too. Stop by if you have time.

rm_Bct2Esi 52M/51F
1375 posts
3/10/2006 9:18 am

{{{{{Jojo}}}}} my friend anytime

Thanks for all of your help

hugs, luvs and smiles

rm_Bct2Esi 52M/51F
1375 posts
3/10/2006 9:17 am

Sex...wow that is so awesome...HUGS to you That is amzing I am proud of you

I have worked with this company before, so I know what hell it can be on the employees as well as the clients Hey I have my sense of humor that kept me from climbing into a bottle or a pot pipe when my daughter was thrown and drug by the horse that she was riding on the 2nd of this month.

I am sure that somewhere, I will be able to show someone, that drugs and alcohol are ALL over rated. There are other ways to deal with this life that we have all created

I am very proud of you Keep up the great work Remember to always smile

hugs and smiles

rm_jojoyoyojojo 57M
73 posts
3/9/2006 12:43 pm

Yeah, the system is broke. I have a friend that works in CA in the state system helping juvies. He just keeps plugging at it cause he knows that if he doesn't contribute that will be one less resource for them. But he really deeply despises the whole system and the overall effect it has on the kids in there.

Bct, thanks, but even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while! Or give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite amount of time and they will be able to type out the complete works of shakespeare.


sexloverocknroll 58M
415 posts
3/9/2006 5:51 am

I quit a 17 year drug and alcohol addiction 16 years ago. Since then, I have been through lots of self-discovery and changes. I went back to college to get a degree in psychology so that I could help others with their addictions and issues. By the time I got my BA, I'd had enough of the ’system.’ It is a huge mess and bogged down with red tape and insurance regulations. Bottom line, few people are getting help. Many good people are falling through the cracks, both those who are in need of help and those who are trying to help. I worked in a mental health hospital on the adolescent in-patient ward. That was a lock down facility in Louisville, Colorado. The whole system was just amazingly in-effective. I did my best to help those teens, but I was constantly at odds with the staff, nurses, doctors, and administration. I can understand your frustrations and wanting to move away, but I can also understand that you still care and want to help. What does a person do then? I work with DD/MR and ABI persons now. Oh yes, there is still lots of red tape and ridiculous government regulations, but I can at least feel that I am doing some good. I sincerely hope you find a solution

rm_Bct2Esi 52M/51F
1375 posts
3/7/2006 12:48 pm

Oh my heaven, I did what JOJO suggested and I start work on monday She was also able to help me find a Dr. that will cast my daughters right wrist Come to find out she has been right where I am at now

THANK YOU all of YOU for your help and in put with this

hugs and smiles

rm_jojoyoyojojo 57M
73 posts
3/3/2006 8:24 am

Man, I can't believe the level of insightfulness provided here. Truly impressive. Lots of love and compassion all around. I don't know that I have anything more to add but since I feel like blabbing i will

If the job sounds interesting to you you should take it. Forgive the fool and forget and get to know her, she's probably not a bad person and meant well (like to hope so anyway). You know that once you get your foot in the door you're likely to move full-time if you want.

If you are able to deal with the headaches (buearacracy and all) then you will be able to really provide help to people that really need it.

Best of luck.

rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
3/2/2006 10:45 am

Depending upon whether I really needed and wanted a job and how fast; being up front with the neighbor could help or hinder you; hard to tell, sometimes when I've thought it was the next in command that was the problem it was actually higher up in administration...

On mental health in general...I have a couple of professional friends that were so disenchanted they gave it up...around here for sure the programs don't work and are underfunded, period. And the social/mental health care workers that really care and are most capable of really inspiring people to change their lives are handicapped by the political and philosophical administrative bs, whose bottom line is political correctness and pleasing the philosophies of whatever powers that be of the moment...reflect the philosophies of the War on Drugs which hasn't worked and will never work...they keep flogging a dead horse...

Reminds me of the position that the public schools are in; so bombarded by bureaucratic red tape and paperwork and keeping up with the latest political crap that they have been dulled down into mediocrity and numbers and the real students keep coming up last on those lists as the administrators choose again and again to make the "appearance" of quality look good.

But I also know that only perseverence and dedication can make changes to an unhealthy system so if you have the desire by all means try...follow your intuition on this one...

rm_Bct2Esi 52M/51F
1375 posts
3/2/2006 7:40 am

Holy Colorado and little purple flip flops, I so enjoyed the responses by all of you

Great advice

You are all awesome, thank you for helping me

hugs and smiles

So anyone interested in a personal shopper, photographer, or personal assitant? $25 an hour to start with, now that is a good rate Have camera, scanner, adobe photoshop, printer, burner, will travel ROFLAO

rm_mesquitemom 45
23 posts
3/2/2006 7:00 am

Honestly, I can understand your delima.
Personally, though there isn't a lot you can do, I know you feel the need to do something.
I'd talk to the neighbor. Maybe they will see some of thes issues as to why thier program doesn't work.

JudeL5 47M  
1595 posts
3/1/2006 10:15 pm

I think you should re-write your resume and include what you just wrote. It's the real life passion, and drive that SHOULD catch the notice of the senior management who want to deliver a successful program. And it sounds like your neighbor has picked up on this.

Resumes are a craps shoot at best anyway. They probably got a huge stack, especially from a newspaper ad, and had to weed through them somehow. That's just reality. I think you should use your "in" with your neighbor and go for it. It gets you in the door, and you will get a better feeling for what is really going on... and once you are in, you will likely be able to move around, and meet the people face-to-face on the inside who can move you around. That's way better than trying to play guessing games as an outsider.

Don't let the response of this HR person color your decision. She won't be your boss (I assume by reading between the lines).

My $0.02

oldman1776 79M
3164 posts
3/1/2006 3:49 pm

Thats a hard call. I know it would make you feel better but would it realy do any good.

May be talking to the nieghbor would be the best of the two.

sillyperv 55M

3/1/2006 2:22 pm

Here's the thing. Revenge, unless it's in sports - just wait until the next Winter Olympics the Canadian's men's hockey team is going to use the other teams as dish rags - sends out a lot of negative energy. If you pass on the information how your resume was handled make it a small deal, hopefully the boss can rectify the situation - obviously someone who has taken a rather bloated view of their position and power (and why do these people never have a sense of humour) - positively.
And, trust me on this, humour in a resume is difficult to pull off and freaks people out. For me it would be an attractive feature, but I'd also be prone to hiring based on breast size.
Good luck.

TTigerAtty 63M

3/1/2006 11:25 am

[blog Bct2Esi],

I have learned that it is often best to simply offer a sounding board and/or to raise some additional questions for you to consider as you wrestle with the decision. I know you are a sharp lady and quite capable of making the right choices. You are understandably a bit ticked at someone who provided advice without really understanding your entire situation and background of experience. I don't want to duplicate that same mistake.

So, some questions to consider before you decide what to do are these:

1. In doing whatever you choose to do, is it your purpose to (a) retaliate and "put down" the lady who answered your question about why you weren't interviewed to make her feel bad and you feel better or (b) clarify your background of experience which, if completely understood, would perhaps create understanding and gain you an interview with this company.
2. Would you and Sparky be better off if you went to work full-time or would the two of you be better off if you obtained a satisfying part-time position? You raised the point in your posting about the value of having a full-time "domestic engineer" in a happy, healthy marriage. I personally agree with you and believe our entire society would be better off if women (mothers or not) could spend more time at home keeping the affairs of the home running smoothly, nuturing children, comforting the elderly, etc. Perhaps, a part-time position or a home-based business would allow you to bring in some of the household's needed income, to get a break from the drudgery and isolation of housework and allow you time to keep up the home as you would like without driving yourself crazy working full-time and trying to also keep up the house.
3. What is it that would truly make you happy and what is God's purpose for your life? Yes, we all have to chase the almighty dollar ($) to put food on the table. I've done that for a half-century, and I'm beginning to wonder if there is something else to life. Maybe this time in between jobs is a time for you to do some soul searching and praying. What are your unique gifts and talents? What were you put on this earth to do? What will be the most fulfilling form of work or service you could provide to others? How can you make a real difference? These are questions I am asking myself right now. They are tough questions, and I don't have the answers for myself. I am praying and listening. I trust that I will soon see a clearer direction for my own life. Maybe you can relate to this?

All the best! I know you and Sparky will figure all of this out in time.

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