Perplexed  

reverend21 50M
1017 posts
5/7/2006 10:29 am

Last Read:
5/9/2006 3:16 am

Perplexed

Before I left on my road trip, I read a coupe of posts that dealt with trust, more precisely, when you have been hurt enough times how do you open yourself back up for love.

This question stuck in my mind, as I feel that the answer is so simple that it escapes us. Is it? Lets look at the question again, "how do you allow yourself to start loving again"

The answer seems simple enough, the biggest obsticle is within us, not an outside influence, even though it has been afffected by our enviroment and things that people have done to us.

If you are afraid of something how do you overcome it? By facing it. Remember we all have our fears, life is full of them. I have been afraid many times, being brave is not being without fear, but how you deal with your fears.

When you are a kid and you are afraid of the water, you get throwed in, when I didn't want to jump out of a perfectly good aircraft, I was thrown out.

How do you over come your fears and not only allow someone in but start to love again? You take that first step, a leap of faith, allow yourself to open up and and run the risk of being hurt. As I have said so many times, if you never reach for a star, you will never learn to fly.


HBowt2 60F

5/7/2006 11:27 am

kyplowboy22 posted this in a comment on my blog....

"The only death you truly die, is the one you die everyday by not living. So, dream big! And dare to fail."

Norman Vaughn
Explorer, adventurer


reverend21 replies on 5/7/2006 2:02 pm:
excelent addition, thank you

caressmewell 55F

5/7/2006 7:54 pm

Like Yummy669 I tend to trust easily and I'm probably to open with my feelings and I get hurt quite a bit. I pull back from others for a bit and then slowly start over, like I'm doing now.


reverend21 replies on 5/7/2006 9:25 pm:
i contiue to try alos, the reward is worth the pain that is endured

Juliet610 52F

5/7/2006 8:23 pm

The only way you can be sure you will never be hurt is never risk anything. And that, in my humble opinion, is no way to live. Now I'm not advocating taking foolish risks--not at all! While it is true you will never be hurt if you never risk falling in love, it is equally true that you will never feel the glorious rush that comes when the one you love walks into the room, either: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Like I said in a comment on another Blog recently, I don't want to look back over my life from my death bed and say, "I only I had done _________...." No, I want to live my life to the fullest, embracing the highs along with the lows, but hopefully learning from the lows so that I don't repeat the events that lead up to the hurt again.

I think what I'm stumbling to say is you just have to step out, try it again, and take it a bit slower. Look for the warning signs, but remember: this is a different person. Don't analyze everything they say and do through the filter of the one who hurt you. You have no more reason to expect this new person to hurt you than you would have expected Mother Teresa to hurt you!

Just my two cents.
Julie


reverend21 replies on 5/7/2006 9:26 pm:
I don't know, wasn't Mother Teresa a pretty good boxer?

EyeCandy33333 46F
761 posts
5/7/2006 9:56 pm

Now-I am still a little scared of water-well-let's say respectful of it-although I have and still do love visiting the beach.
Let's just say-I had a bad experience when I was a little girl-my dad was drunk, his friend was also and his wife, my Mom was pregnant(very much so). SO his friend and wife told asked me to come on out in the ocean with them-they would hold me up over the waves-so-I go trailing behind them.They turn their back to me and go on out. Suddenly I am faced with a humongous wave staring at me right in the face so I turn and try to run(which u can't run fast while the current is drawing u out)and I get smacked faced down to the bottom!
But-it taught me not to trust people like that lol about water.
But I still love riding in a boat and going to the beach.
Taking another whack at love(smiling)-I don't think us hopeless romantics will ever, ever totally give that up- I am an optimist after all!


reverend21 replies on 5/7/2006 11:13 pm:
that gives me something to hope for

MOfunNOWWOW 56F

5/8/2006 9:04 pm

I don't know about anyone else and can only speak for me. I love whole heartedly. It took me along time to love and accept myself. I finally live and am content alone. I am afraid but of someone entering my life and upsetting my contentment. I am slow to trust that someone else has found thiers and is not seeking me to content them....it wouldn't work. So I love fully but am watchful and never jump in. {=}


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


reverend21 replies on 5/9/2006 3:17 am:
so you stand on the sidelines and watch mostly?

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