fantasies???  

revelinthedance 35M
44 posts
3/18/2006 3:47 pm

Last Read:
4/3/2006 2:59 pm

fantasies???


I am very curious about something, which I hope the title of this entry indicates. What is it that makes /play fantasies appealing to a woman? There are a lot of women on this site, and a few that I've simply met in person, that say they want to be part of a play . First of all, the words play and seem mutually exclusive to me. Second, I doubt that a real is an appealing idea to anybody, since the necessary element in a is a certain amount of unwillingness on the recipients part. Is it simply the idea of being dominated and taken/controlled by a stranger? I know there are a lot of stranger and dom/sub fantasies out there, so that seems more plausible in my head. Is there a necessary element of role playing as victim/aggressor, or is it simply an ambiance of darkness, mystery, impaired vision, restraint, etc.? It seems a conglomeration of dom/sub, mysterious stranger, bondage, and sensory control. Still, I find the characterization as a fantasy to be kind of a strange one. Could any ladies that may read this help clarify for me what you mean by fantasy, or even just tell why such a scenario is or isn't appealing to you. I'd like to understand, but find myself seriously lacking.

To all the guys who read this....
Would it make you a bit uncomfortable to participate in a fantasy as an aggressor? I know it would make me uncomfortable. I get the establishment of safety words and all of that, but would you be able to keep it up with someone struggling and saying "no" repeatedly? I think that might cause problems for me. Of course, I don't know how far a fantasy would go in that direction, having never been party to one myself. Even worse; what if someone doesn't have the foresight to establish safety words before hand. Perhaps they are just beginners to this type of fantasy and are too naive to do so. When does it become too much. Suppose that she decides in the middle of things that she isn't really into it anymore and the struggles and pleas become real. Where does one differentiate one side of the line from the other?

I, for one, don't think I could be a party to "play ". At least not without some serious explanation from a panel of women on the subject. I'd really like some outside opinions/explanations on the subject. Having never been one to limit myself, it seems only right that I should seek such things from the community that brought their apparent wide popularity to my attention in the first place.

Another paranoia on this matter is the fear that there might be remnants from the "play" afterward that might be construed as physical evidence under different circumstances. What happens if someone sees a restraint mark that is left, or, even worse, hears the play pleas for mercy or what have you? What if the other person, and we all know that there are people this fucked up and manipulative out there, is just drawing you into that situation to create such damning physical evidence to blackmail you later? The possibilities for fucking something like this, and consequently your life, up are seemingly endless.

Input, please. To any men and women reading this, what are the appealing components of something like this? What are the draw backs in your minds? How does one react to or screen a person before participating in a fantasy like this? What is it that generates the desire for such caricature of what has become an all too appalling and frequent staple of sexual reality in our society? I can understand establishing a dom/sub relationship between two people, but what is it that necessitates taking it to this level? Help me to understand.

mycin62 55F

3/18/2006 11:16 pm

I have had the fantasy, but I would NEVER do it with someone that I didn't COMPLETELY trust. Like a spouse or steady partner. I would never do this with a one night stand or casual sex partner.

I think the appeal, for me, is the giving up control, the submission. Since I'm somewhat dominant myself, that is like a forbidden turn on.

Hope this helps you out.

Cin


RedheadedMedStd 35F

3/28/2006 10:49 pm

You hit the nail on the head with my ideas of a fantasy like that. For me though it wouldn't be considered a fantasy, that's just creepy. I'd just consider it a very dominating experience.


RedheadedMedStd 35F

3/28/2006 10:54 pm

Oh, BTW I read a piece of erotica a long time ago that was a girl's fantasy, a violent one, on her blog. The way she described it, and the way I construe it's just not two words you use in the same sentence.


rm_shaveclean2 57M/44F
691 posts
3/29/2006 5:01 pm

[SIZE 1]OKAY....we all know is a crime of
anger/strength not necessarily passion. So with that said .....most women or should I say "I" think of a fantasy as an act of Dominance. I work in a field that requires me to be a BAD ASS all day long...like a lot of women. And when everyone goes home they want to be controlled or "Dominated"....or I should say SOME WOMEN!! Anyway everyone could use a spanking!!

Chow,
G the female 1/2 of Shave clean2


g


revelinthedance 35M

3/29/2006 5:25 pm

Shave-- I can understand the desire to just let go and be controlled. That is a great release from the alternative side of a reality in which one must be dominant. The degree to which one departs from their every day reality would, of course, heighten the pleasure of the experience.

Lide Red, I just don't understand the characterization of it as a " fantasy", as I've heard/read a lot of women refer to it. The idea of being tied down, blindfolded, and "forced" to do things is erotic to them, as they say. I guess I can understand that on a certain level, so the conflict I have with the phrase would then seem to be a semantic one. I, generally speaking, have a deeply rooted psychological inability to relinquish that much control to anyone, in any situation. Draw from that what you will. I'm sure I'll get into discussing the trauma of childhood and whatnot in my blog at some point.

You've all clued me into the fact that it's simply a domination fantasy, rather than a violent one. I suspected, but still have difficulty with the characterization of it as a " fantasy". My hang-up I suppose. When I hear or see the word " " in reference to anything sexual, I simply withdraw. It makes me cringe. The degree of departure from one's everyday life heightening the experience makes total sense, though. Perhaps, if I can get past my control issues, I can someday really enjoy something like that. It seems a very apppropriate fantasy for those who, for some reason, look down on their sexual desires and activities on a subconscious level. Perhaps the role of the one being forced to engage in these "appealing" activities somewhat divorces them from taking any responsibility for something that they have been taught to detest.

Thanks for the input, guys.


rm_shaveclean2 57M/44F
691 posts
3/29/2006 8:21 pm

YES....THE WORD " " should always be disturbing and it should make us ALL cringe!!!! You are correct in detesting the word!!!

G


g


8WM4U 58M

7/18/2006 11:55 am

My exwife was at 20 and a vigin on campus in Eastern KY. The guy took her cherry and shot cum deep in her unprotected pussy without a comdom or the pill. I say because that is what she called it. But over the years she told me every detail and would get wet and fuck harder that I could get her to do otherwise. She was walking in a park with a date with a 8" skirt on, nylons and no panties with heels. No, what a women wears does not mean it is okay to her but she was teasing and teasing until the guys pushed her to the ground and slammed 9 or 10" of thick cock into her unused pussy. It hurt and she got scared of getting preg. She then called it . Over the years she claim two other peopel her. A guy at work who nailed her over a bench in the dressing room late at the company gym. She got caught and cried . He was just fucking her. Another time, a coworker and she were on a trip and roomed together. She said she showered and came on and laid on the bed nake to dry off and exposed herself. The other women took advantage of it and at her pussy and fucked her pussy and ass with a toy she had brought on the trip. The lady told me later that she had been teased for weeks by my wife about the fun the two of them would have when they went on a business trip. The dildo was huge and sent her to the doctor to check her torn asshole thus another . Finally, before we divorced she told me the only way she could cum was to think about being hard and by lots of guys or gals. She had fucked over 200 guys some gangbangs in a biker bar while we were married and I never knew it. She she said once you show a tit or flash a bare pussy on a biker bar you are fucked hard and by lots of guys. is but she got off on rough, hard, sex that takes total contol of her and nailed three people with some very bad times with their spouses when she cried . Short of being physicall beaten she loved and yes, believe it or not got off on . Sorry ladies but for this one it is true.


Become a member to create a blog