Not feeling guilty  

redmustang91 58M  
8986 posts
5/30/2006 1:39 pm

Last Read:
6/2/2006 10:55 pm

Not feeling guilty

I know we are trained to feel bad about infidelity, depite the statistics showing it is more the norm than monagamy can claim. So if cheating is the rule how can it be so immoral? By definition the speed 85% of the people drive is the normal speed. Same with sexual behavior. About 85% of men "cheat" according to the studies, based on admitted behavior. Which should mean the true number is higher! Interestingly 65% of women admit to cheating. Not what most nice people would think or admit, but it is actuallly occurring. Why?

The cinderella love story apparently is not occurring. People are not loving happily ever after. There are often large differences in sexual drive and appetite between the partners. Also large differences in the level of inhibition or willingness to experiment.

And then boredom, or the desire for variety is a factor as well. Some people crave new sexual experiences and new sensations. We stigmatize these desires, but people crave lots of variety in their other forms of entertainment...

I think another factor is the desire to feel the rush of infatuation. This feeling of falling in love is a natural high that sadly does not last.

Still another reason is that a new person is not bored with your stories and can discover the wonderfullness of your new personality. Your partner knows and takes you for granted. Having a new person recognize your special qualities is exciting and gratifying. So often we ignore our partners and make them feel like they are not so special...

So while I do not feel guilty for wanting a new sex partner for fun sex, if you want to avoid your partner straying, then you must satisfy them like a new partner would. A tall order and one most will not bother to attempt to fill...

onlyfive 70M

5/30/2006 3:23 pm

It's really all about honor and using your brain. You took some vows. So did I. The one I didn't keep was the "till death do you part" thing. We split by mutual agreement so I feel excused. The vow of monogamy is truly an expression of honor and should not be excused unless both agree.

Sure, it gets old. Does it have to? No way. There are always new sexual adventures that you can experience as a TEAM. That's what it's all about; teamwork. Problems that arise can very often be solved by professional intervention. How many cheaters try counseling? Not many. It's easier to get that new piece of ass than to enhance an existing relationship.

So much for honor. You state that so many people do it so it must be considered the norm. It's OK; everybody does it. Fine. Go ahead. If you're caught and she drills you a new asshole in court will you still feel it's OK? Why not? Happens to lots of folks. Ah, the thrill of starting life over with no house, no bank account and no car. Think of the possibilities! Your brain should be telling you that there might just possibly be a different answer than cheating. Are you bored sexually? IS SHE??

C'mon man. Stop trying to justify your laziness by saying others do it. It's not just your problem, It's your spouses too. Talk about it, get help, try to save it. If you can't and must split up, c'mon down to Florida for a great blowjob.

redmustang91 58M  
8935 posts
5/31/2006 8:37 am

Actually I took no vow of fidelity. Neither did she. We love each other whether the sex is totally fulfilling or not. My point is fidelity does not make so much sense when you live together so much longer than the old days and you are not off at the wars getting killed.

As for losing all assets in a divorce, not true either. She makes a good living and an even division of assets leaves us both well off...
Some people seem to be threatened by the idea of non-exclusive recreational sex. Why?

onlyfive 70M

5/31/2006 3:22 pm

Because our society and the bible thumpers that set our standards have deemed it wrong. I still have this vision of Jimmie Swaggart apologizing to the galaxy for having "sinned". Seeing him in tears made me laugh so hard I thought I'd have a stroke. Yeah, the folks who bad mouth swingers should clean their own houses.

If non-exclusive recreational sex is OK with both partners, I have no argument. Marriage is a team effort and ALL decisions that can potentially affect the relationship should be made by the team. Not by you, her, or an asshole from Florida like me. I've been haunting the advice area on this site and one of my responses has been used so much, even I am getting tired of it. Seems like I must use it again. Ask your wife.

BTW, Fords just don't go. Take a trip to Florida next time you need to get your doors blown off. LOL.

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