Booty call agreement  

redmustang91 58M  
8981 posts
6/29/2006 12:15 pm

Last Read:
7/1/2006 4:11 am

Booty call agreement


I found this cold contract on another site and thought it funny and not bad drafting for a legal contract:

Booty call Agreement

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2006, between __________________and____________________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's friend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.

19. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.

20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

**EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS**:

The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.

Participating Party

Signature_______________________________________
Date: __________________________________________

geminiwarrior 58F

6/29/2006 1:00 pm

Cold very cold....but funny


bipolybabe 56F

6/29/2006 1:02 pm

Okay, I see the humor in this, but I actually do believe that relationships are merely agreements people make and either uphold, break or re-negotiate. I'm unlikely to sign up for the booty call thing unless he is the most amazing fuck I've ever experienced in my life.

Below is my idea of a proposed polyamorous, rather than booty call, relationship agreement.

Poly or Open Relationship Agreement

* I will reply to calls or emails (when they related to getting together) within 24 hours.
* I will communicate when I may be unreachable (or entirely out of contact) for more than 24 hours.
* I will make every effort to show up when I say I will show up.
* I will make every effort to communicate (even possible) changes in plan as far in advance as possible.
* I will tell the truth about where I am and with whom if I'm asked.
* I will not ask where my partner is or with whom unless I want to know.
* I will not break a date with my lover in order to meet or have sex with another person unless I am willing to reveal this fact and discuss it.
* I will not assume that my partner will get the message that I'm no longer interested when I stop calling.
* I agree to declare it when I am ready to end the relationship.
* I will re-negotiate this agreement as needed.

x__________________ x___________________

BiPolyBabe

BPB

Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!


redmustang91 58M  
8929 posts
6/30/2006 11:17 am

I prefer Bipoly's contract but I would have some other matters covered.


florallei 100F

6/30/2006 12:50 pm

the brutal reality...it will avoid misunderstandings...but when seen written it really hits hard...humurous still.


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