Shattered trust  

puntachueca 106M
2534 posts
8/5/2006 6:26 pm

Last Read:
8/13/2006 4:53 am

Shattered trust

Trust is a fundamental necessity for a happy life.

One has to trust themselves and trust others.

The last few weeks my trust in other people has been shattered.

And I'm digging out of a hole where I don't trust myself...especially my judgment about who to trust.

I wish there was some easy fix for this. Just meet someone wonderful and loving and happy, and in turn I could strip away all the the hurt, all the anger, all the fear.

Fear is a very corrosive emotion. When trust is lost, fear creeps in on little cockroach feet and twists everything you see into a threat.

Really bad place.

Got to get out of this hole.

The cowboys suggest the first step in getting out of a hole is to quit digging.

amoldenough 71F
16436 posts
8/5/2006 8:08 pm

I am sorry that you lost your trust. Once that happens, it is very hard to trust again. I have been in the position where I couldn't trust someone whom I loved very much. It took a long time to trust him again, and still there were little nagging doubts in the back of my head. About the judgement of knowing who to trust? I don't know if that is even possible. All we can do, I think, is not give our trust too freely at first. Trust has to be earned. Just to meet someone like you described would be wonderful. I wonder if we ever will. As usual, your cowboys are right. Very smart cowboys. Good luck in feeling better about things.

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."

puntachueca replies on 8/6/2006 6:26 am:
Thank you. Right on advice.

demonicsexkitten 42F
10688 posts
8/5/2006 8:39 pm

i love hearing your cowboy's advice


puntachueca replies on 8/6/2006 6:26 am:
Thank you!!!

PrincessKarma 44F
6188 posts
8/5/2006 9:20 pm


The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

puntachueca replies on 8/6/2006 6:31 am:

MoutnainGirl 38F

8/6/2006 3:53 am

Aww.. Anything I can do?

Moutnain Girl

Visit my blog: MoutnainGirl

puntachueca replies on 8/6/2006 6:32 am:
Thanks. Just offering to help helps. There are times when it real important to have someone in your corner.

tracy_de_lacy 106F
9268 posts
8/6/2006 4:45 am

Fear is a necessary emotion. It can mean the difference between survival and being killed. Never hate fear, it is an internal alarm system that allows you to judge a situation.

Trust, well you have to just go on your instincs there. This is another protective instinct.

The reason these instincts cause so much mayhem is because we fight them. All emotions should be embraced and treated with the respect they deserve.

After being abused for many years it is natural for a person to find it hard to trust, this is your way of protecting yourself and it ain't wrong. If someone loves you enough or wants you enough, they will understand your issues and help you work through them.

Just answer one question to yourself "Would you help the trust of a loved one grow if the shoe was on the other foot?" I bet you would.

Bye everyone, it was a blast

puntachueca replies on 8/6/2006 6:34 am:
I believe the core problem is this person is almost my exact counterpart with lots of past situations that destroyed her ability to trust so she sees in real time shadows of the past and reacts to stuff as thought it was the other. Very hard to break through this though, it is almost like dealing with someone who is totally drunk and won't accept their mind is temporarily bent out of shape.

catkit13 67F

8/6/2006 5:04 am

the cowboys are right - trust them!

puntachueca replies on 8/6/2006 6:34 am:
Exactly. Putting the shovel away.

sexyariesgirl 58F

8/6/2006 9:17 am

Trust - the lack of trust was the death of my marriage. He felt I had betrayed his trust. It didn't matter that I hadn' was the perception. I find it hard to trust as well. Thank God my Sweet Baby hung in there with me and showed me that it was ok to trust again. I still have my moments of doubt....but they are getting fewer and further between. Sounds like your cowboys are some pretty smart guys darlin! I'm thinking of you.....

Power To FOK

puntachueca replies on 8/7/2006 6:45 am:
That is exactly the problem I'm dealing with.

RevJoseyWales 70M/67F
14393 posts
8/6/2006 9:48 am

Sometime the simpleest answer is the best. The cowboys got this one. Loss of trust is a major thing. Don't know how you came to it, but no matter what it sucks. And fear is a lousy place to be. I DO know that. Bujt obviously you have good friends, and you can retreat to them for a while and get your head back together. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

puntachueca replies on 8/7/2006 6:48 am:
I know how I got here. The lady had something happen to her where everything looks like anorther repeat of that...but denies there's a problem and projects everything on to me. I get zapped like getting hit with a lightning bolt out of the blue when her fear demon takes over. Her "reality" is way off is like trying to reason with a drunk...only in this case drunk on rage.

duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
8/7/2006 7:42 am

Your cowboy friends might be right. Toss the shovel aside and start climbing out of that hole.


puntachueca replies on 8/7/2006 11:48 am:
Doing so. Shiovels are only useful for digging holes to plant trees and lay new water line trenches.

How's everything in Mormonville?

duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
8/8/2006 5:40 pm

puntachueca replies on 8/7/2006 12:48 pm:
Doing so. Shiovels are only useful for digging holes to plant trees and lay new water line trenches.

How's everything in Mormonville?

Same ole same ole.


puntachueca replies on 8/9/2006 4:37 am:
I've actually got to go up there soon and meet with the Safford city government. Should be interesting. Get a chance to try out that other hot springs place, too.

VTLakesideVixen 61F
458 posts
8/11/2006 12:14 am

Life is sad when trust is missing . . . .sometimes those walls of the
of the hole will collapse on you if you don't get out of that hole in time. Remember also, fear begets more fear and that can ultimately destroy us.

So put that damned shovel down and get the hell out of the hole before it's too late Sweetie!

I'm here if you ever feel the need to talk.

Hugs to you Puntachueca!

puntachueca replies on 8/13/2006 4:54 am:
Using the shovel to dig tree wells and planting trees. A good thing.

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