DUST BUNNIES DESIGNATED ENDANGERED SPECIES  

puntachueca 106M
2534 posts
7/17/2006 10:41 pm

Last Read:
7/18/2006 12:42 pm

DUST BUNNIES DESIGNATED ENDANGERED SPECIES

WASHINGTON: The common American household Dust Bunny has been designated as a endangered species, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service (USF&WS) announced last week.

"The widespread use of household cleaning products and devices has drastically reduced the habitat of the Dust Bunny," said Noah Present, Acting Director of the Endangered Species Program. "American homes are cleaned too frequently, and much better than in the past."

"We are not to blame for the improper use of our products," responded a spokesperson for the Household Products Association. "Correctly used, many of the Dust Bunnies should survive."

In addition to designating Dust Bunnies as an endangered species, USF&WS also established critical habitat for the critters.

"Twenty-five percent of every dwelling unit in the country must be left uncleaned," announced Present.

The Dust Bunny preserves in each home are required to permit the Dust Bunnies the opportunity to breed. The required preserve must include space beneath beds, sofas, and under refrigerators.

"However, if a person feels it would be an undue hardship to leave a quarter of their home uncleaned, we have a Dust Bunny Habitat Protection Program available," noted Present.

A person seeking to clean their entire home can pay another person to leave more than 25 of their home uncleaned, advised Present.

"This is wonderful," said Angela Ashes, who promptly signed up to never clean her home in exchange for Dust Bunny Habitat Protection payments. "Now, instead of paying someone to clean my house, I get paid to leave it dirty."

New home construction would not be affected by the Dust Bunny protection program, so long as each new homebuyer signed a covenant at the time of purchase of their homes to always leave 25 of the home uncleaned. The deed restriction requiring the dirty area could be enforced by the FBI.

USF&WS also plans to reduce the number of cleaning people in the country, to assure the survival of the Dust Bunnies. "We will pay for re-education to less environmentally dangerous jobs such as participant in a Survivor show," said Present.
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Another in my parodies of the Bot Posts.
Photo is from NRDC



amoldenough 71F
16436 posts
7/18/2006 1:47 am

Dust bunnies are alive and well at my house. In fact, they multiply like rabbits. I no sooner sweep up one batch of d.b.'s, and I turn around and there is a new batch waiting. Should I just give up?

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."


puntachueca replies on 7/18/2006 5:16 am:
Yep. If anyone asks...explain you are protecting an endangered species. Great excuse for dumping house cleaning.

demonicsexkitten 42F
10688 posts
7/18/2006 4:46 am

so, where do we sign up to get paid to leave our homes uncleaned? my apartment is dust bunny heaven. and my cat stuffs her toys under the fridge to share with them so they're not bored. under the couch too. and the stove for that matter. shocking how much stuff i found crammed under the stove when i cleaned it a few months ago.


puntachueca replies on 7/18/2006 5:17 am:
You clean under your stove?

demonicsexkitten 42F
10688 posts
7/18/2006 10:52 am

lol. well, not usually i put some pans away in the drawer on the bottom, but then it wouldn't close. i thought something fell behind it so pulled the drawer out. (turned out the reason it didn't close is the leg of the chair i store between the stove and fridge was in the way). i found a face brush from the bathroom, a couple pens, a glue stick, 2 balls, 6 hair ties, a couple recipe cards i'd been trying to find for months. i can't remember what else... oh yeah, and dust bunnies. i didn't think there was that much room under the stove, and have NO idea how Sassy got it all under there.

One of these days I'm going to have to move the fridge and find what she managed to stuff under there.


puntachueca replies on 7/18/2006 12:43 pm:
The only time I've ever cleaned under a stove was when I had to move it. Lots of interesting things under stoves and refigerators.

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