Dear Wife  

prettypussy4004 88F
1033 posts
8/21/2006 12:21 pm

Last Read:
8/30/2006 7:53 pm

Dear Wife

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

Your Ex-husband

PS Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning ... and your silk boxers were $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.


Rich As Hell and Free!

PS I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.

I love these letters but that is why I stay were I am, one of us might hit the lotto!

No road is traveled alone, just know your journey is a shared one.

redmustang91 58M  
8924 posts
8/21/2006 12:57 pm

In California the Lottery winnings would still be community property because earned during the marriage! Seven year itch...

prettypussy4004 replies on 8/23/2006 6:02 am:
In your state then It would have been best not to tell that she won anything and let him go without even looking for him and spend the money.

ProspectorsPlace 68M/65F

8/22/2006 10:59 am

Both of us Loved that bit o humor..

The Prospectors /l\


Veritas vos Liberabit–Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus, et Fidelis!

Prospector /l\

prettypussy4004 replies on 8/23/2006 5:57 am:
Thanks, I thought it was a day lifter.{=}

liptrip4u 48F

8/27/2006 8:17 am

That was so funny, where did you find it.

prettypussy4004 88F

8/30/2006 7:53 pm

You probaly won't believe me when I tell you that I got it in an email from my ex-husband.

No road is traveled alone, just know your journey is a shared one.

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