You Big Sissy!  

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F
3614 posts
3/31/2006 7:57 am

Last Read:
4/3/2006 7:54 am

You Big Sissy!

I'm sure that you all have heard the song by Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons "Big Girls Don't Cry." Well, we do.

What about guys?

My son recently came to me and said "Mom, I'm a big sissy!" I inquired as to why he thought that about himself. He replied, " Well, you know...I'm afraid of the dark and sometimes I cry when I'm upset." I told my son not to worry about his fear of the dark. I then explained, as a young girl... I was also afraid of the dark and said that as he gets older, that may change. He replied, "I guess, I'll just have to toughen-up and not be such a girl." Huh? I said. "Boys don't cry." He replied.

Boys aren't supposed to cry? Somewhere, along the line, my son as learned (not from me) that boys don't shed tears. Society, as a whole, has labeled men that show emotion or tears as weak or too in touch with their feminine side. Do we as women promote this myth by demanding that men be tough and capable to handle any and all situations in life without letting it "get to them?" Or do men cripple themselves emotionally and deny themselves the option to cry, in order to be part of the "macho man syndrome?"

I don't know about you all, but I appreciate a man that can show vulnerability. A man, who isn't ashamed to shed a tear or two when it is emotionally, required. Someone, who can show me that they deeply care about someone or something. A MAN WITH FEELINGS!! Yes, I know what you all are thinking...there is a place and time for it. True. However, that holds true for both sexes. Doesn't it? Being the woman that I am, I would not want anyone in my work place to see me crying at my desk. I may take such a thing,to the ladies room stall, if I absolutely needed to cry. You know..PMS stuff.

There are men unable to even cry at the death of a loved one or, for that matter, unable to show affection to their own children. Why? Because, they have learned that it is not considered the "manly" thing to do. I say "Bullshit!"

I have encouraged my son to be affectionate and not to " toughen-up." I believe, that this will benefit him in life. I am not worried about him growing up and becoming a strong man. I'm more interested in him developing and growing into a good and decent human being.

Please tell me guys and gals, what do you think about a man that cries? *sniff-sniff*

rm_1SweetBitch 56F
8575 posts
3/31/2006 9:01 am

I think a man that is able to show emotions is a beautiful thing. I have a man that I have been with for over 2 years and I have never seen him shed a tear when I know there are times he would just like to let loose.

No Day Is So Bad It Can't Be Fixed With Great Sex!

1 SweetBitch

fantasylover_05 63M

3/31/2006 9:06 am


Interesting post!!

I denied my emotions in TOTAL for many many many years... it was my coping mechanism to deal with my cancer and such... it has only been the past few years I have begun to truly feel again... and yes that includes extreme sorrow.. and yes at those times I do shed a tear or two... it is still quite "private" but they are there....


If you don't mind... I might like to make a post on this subject about my journey locking away emotions and the evolution of beginning to feel them again... I will gladly and happily credit you with the idea??

Thanks for making me think!!

firestarter665 43M/40F

3/31/2006 9:12 am

Makes me think teice about saying to the kids "Stop being such a baby about things". I didn't realize until now what I am doing. I feel terrible right now.


3/31/2006 11:17 am

I think a man that is strong enough to show his emotion is one confident MAN and far and few between in this "mind set" world we live in. I am diggin that MAN!

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

mycin62 55F

3/31/2006 1:09 pm

I agree with MOfunNOWWOW, a man strong enough to show emotions is CONFIDENT. That's a great quality in a man. I have known many strong men who cry.

One thing I have to add, my mother always taught us (3 sisters and me) growing up to cry was a weakness. So, sometimes, I find that I have a hard time crying.


rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
3/31/2006 2:37 pm

I think it means they are real, but I do have to tell you, I have been around some guys who cry all the time and its a big turn off! Not because they are guys, but they seem to use it for leverage.

Purry {=}


49AK 56M
1823 posts
3/31/2006 4:50 pm

I am not ashamed to say that I cry from time to time. Strangely, I cry at weird stuff... and not so much at the big things. I think that even if we're not told explicitly what our emotional responses should be, we learn then from examples in society... so its not just what mom says, but the images of stoic men on television, etc.

docdirk 48M

3/31/2006 5:45 pm

Hell, every time I think about my sex life, I cry like a baby for hours!!!!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/1/2006 7:31 am

1SweetBitch - Well, look at it this way...he MUST be releasing his emotions in another way..!

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/1/2006 7:34 am

fantasylover_05 - Thanks for your compliment and YES...feel free to use it..

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/1/2006 7:39 am

firestarter665 - Don't feel terrible because you're acting on what you feel inside. We do the best for our children...we try to give them what they'll need in life. Ultimately...and hopefully, they'll take what we've given them, along with everything else in their lives, and become who they're going to be.

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/1/2006 7:44 am

MOfunNOWWOW - And so you should be. His confidence is derived from who you are and how you've shown how you can be when he does display that emotional outpouring. Trust given, is trust received.

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/1/2006 7:50 am

Cin - We all give of ourselves to others, in various ways and degrees. Again, the confidence derived from the trust exchanged between two people is the key to allowing ourselves to share...everything.

Is it weakness to become emotional with someone that will be there for you everytime, and give you the support and understanding that you need...when you need it?

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/1/2006 7:53 am

Purry - I call them PBMF's (pretty-boy-mother-fucker's)..! There's a difference between being a manipulative person, and a feeling person. I call him my husband.

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/1/2006 7:55 am

49AK - Even the "Al Bundy's" of the world, cry...!

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/1/2006 7:58 am

docdirk - *ROTFLMAO* There, there, doc...I'll lend you a shoulder (or a tit) to cry on..!

NSAAddict 43F

4/1/2006 8:40 pm

I agree with you Prag, a man who can show his vulnerability and is not afraid to feel, or show those feelings is a rare but beautiful thing.

swallowsdontspit 65M
276 posts
4/2/2006 4:53 am

pCTc, real men cry.

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/2/2006 8:54 am

NSAAddict - Like hearts. Thanks, my wonder-twin. {=}

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/2/2006 8:57 am

swallowsdontspit - Yep.....AND they eat quiche..!

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