The Rites of Spring...  

pragmaticCTcpl 63M/52F
3614 posts
4/9/2006 2:37 pm

Last Read:
4/10/2006 12:46 pm

The Rites of Spring...

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I truly look forward to each Spring.

That time of the year when we can cast off Winter's cold and miserable weather...put our leather and down-filled outerwear into the back of the closet...be discombobulated for weeks, after the time change gives us daylight later and later each day, and our bodies STILL haven't adjusted...but most of all, Spring is the prologue to Summer.

To get to the warmth and friendliness of Summer, there are some dues that have to be paid, during Spring's brief life.

Yesterday, I spent over 7 hours, in my annual mental funk, doing our income taxes. My wife's description of me on this one day, each year, is a cross between Attila the Hun, and a wounded, wild Grizzly Bear..!

It was our third year of "Married, filing jointly," even though we won't celebrate our 3rd Anniversary of wedded bliss for another week or so.

Yes...I do our income taxes...Federal...and this year, TWO state income tax returns.

The Federal (f1040 & many, many, many...others) return, to me anyway, is fairly easy, year after year.

The State of Connecticut return is set up as an either / or type of return...fill out a hard copy and mail it in, or do their E-filing, online. Last year I braved the new frontier of E-filing, and found it to be very simple...so again this year it was done that way.

The third return we had to file for last year was predicated on my working out-of-state for one quarter...and finding that I didn't like the results...at least in my paycheck.

Fill out a Federal W-4 form and they ask about the number of dependents you want to claim (whether you actually HAVE that many or not), as well as there being a line in there that let's you have them withhold even MORE of your earnings each pay period (must be for those who make 7-figure incomes), if you want to.

Connecticut's W-4 form is basically the same, using letters, instead of numbers, to determine your withholding.

State "X" doesn't even have a W-4..! They hit you for a flat, ridiculously high, amount...each and every week you draw a paycheck in their "Commonwealth..!"

Their Department of Revenue Services web page HAD to have been created by a retired mechanical engineer..! He understands it...he's written instructions that any nuclear physicist would STILL have problems comprehending...and of course...there's always the "contact us" button, should you absolutely, positively, need help.

I collected all of our pertinent data...W-2's...1099's...itemized expenditures...and all those other things that take up too much space all year long...grabbed a yellow legal pad...and basically followed a copy of last year's Federal form, filling in 2005's amounts.

They did add something, pretty early on, on this year's 1040, but being only one number off, didn't pose any major problems.

I adjourned to the computer...resisting the temptation to log on to AdultFriendFinder...and brought up the IRS home page...found and downloaded all of the forms I would need...and started filling in the numbers.....oh...wait a minute...gotta get some info from the CT tax form to continue...okay, go to their URL...input our SS#'s...start to fill out the state form...oh...wait a minute...have to get to a further along line on the Federal return to complete the state one....so I go bouncing back and forth between Federal and CT.....OH, SHIT...now they want to know if I had any taxes withheld in another state...!

Yep...gotta start working on state "X"'s return...WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT..!!!!!

First of all, you can file electronically...but the cheapest buy-in software is $7.95 per form, and if you have any problems...or want to get the instructions for each form, then you have to upgrade to their premium service for $34.95..! WTF..!!!!!

Fuck it...I tested pretty high on the IQ test, way back when...I'll get their download for a hard copy...fill it out...and satisfy the Federal and CT "need to know's."

Round and round my eyes and mind went...back and forth from one return to another...and another...and another.

I finally finished all three...printing out copies of the Federal and state "X"...and hitting the "submit" button on the CT form...after making a copy of that, too.

I won't bore you with a bunch of numbers...but suffice to say, we ARE getting a few dollars back from all three. In fact, state "X" will be sending me back 34 cents more than they withheld from me...gotta love that rounding off to the nearest dollar..!

Immediately afterwards. as I sat at the kitchen table...ravenously eating a ham & cheese grinder...my first food of the day...my wife now dared to talk to me (she's seen me do our taxes three times now, and fears me for that one day each year).

I showed her a summary sheet of the three returns, and the bottom line made her smile.

"I always went to an accountant for my taxes," she said to me. "Why don't you let them take care of it next year?"

"And how much did you pay them to do your taxes?" I asked...although I already knew.

"About $200." she said.

My wife says I'm "frugal"....truth is, I take pride in my abilities...I love challenges...and, at times...I'm just plain CHEAP..!

But the most important reason for me to do our own taxes, instead of paying someone else to do it, was re-affirmed this morning.

As I awoke, and hugged my wife through still-sleepy senses...she gave me one helluva wake-up blow-job..!


.


libgemOH 57M/54F

4/9/2006 3:03 pm

Hell, you don't need to do the taxes to get "one helluva wake-up blow-job...!" And you probably could have gotten one last night if you weren't "a cross between Attila the Hun, and a wounded, wild Grizzly Bear..!"

-B


pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/10/2006 12:26 pm:
I know I don't HAVE to do the taxes to get one helluva blow-job...but just think...that $200., or whatever it would cost these days for our-anything-but-EZ-tax-return, can go for a night out for us...a surprise new toy or fuckerwear outfit...or a tankful of gasoline..!!!!!!

p.s. The... "cross between Attila the Hun, and a wounded, wild Grizzly Bear..!" ...ended when I was done with the tax excercise...the real reason I didn't get one that night is we were online talking with someone until almost 1 am..!

mycin62 56F

4/9/2006 5:06 pm

LOL, we live in CT too and do our own taxes!!! Such a joy!! My husband likes to do them as soon as all of our info arrives, just to get it out of the way. He can't stand the thought of having to do it hanging over his head for monthes!!!


pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/10/2006 12:31 pm:
Between procrastination and the fact that Christmas time depletes the resources...I wait to do them the week before they're due. With birthday's and our Anniversary in April and May...the timing is just right..!

NSAAddict 43F

4/9/2006 6:24 pm

Sending you a shot of tequila (okay fine a smirnoff ice instead) and a flash of my boobs (did you see that... I told you it'd be a flash!) to clear the tax heebie jeebies from your mind. Hugs, NSA


pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/10/2006 12:32 pm:
Thanks for the Smirnoff Ice...can I see the boobies again..? *Y*

mangomamiCT 43F

4/9/2006 7:28 pm

I have done my own taxes for years , but alas it has gotten complicated due to a very big change , my own buisness ! yeahhhhhhh So now I have to hire someone , hmmmmmmmmmmm hopefully he will be cute , is there such a thing as a cute accountant ???????


pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/10/2006 12:36 pm:
"is there such a thing as a cute accountant ???????"

There's no such thing as a cute accountant....but as far as good-looking office eye-candy.....that works for me..!

tillerbabe 57F

4/10/2006 4:35 am

You just made my brain hurt! I happen to love Turbo tax! LOL!


pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/10/2006 12:39 pm:
Some day when I'm rich and famous....okay, so I'll NEVER be rich and famous...can I copy your copy of Turbo Tax..???

49AK 56M
1823 posts
4/10/2006 7:20 am

$200, but it is guaranteed, and you can spend the time playing. I think it is a deal.


pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/10/2006 12:46 pm:
Donations to pragmaticCTcpl's 2006 Income Tax professional preparation expenses can be mailed to:

P. O. Box 12345
Litchfield County, CT 067XX

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