Key Signs On Dining Out  

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F
3614 posts
4/19/2006 5:32 am

Last Read:
4/22/2006 7:40 am

Key Signs On Dining Out

The trick to successful dining out with someone is learning how to interpret the hidden signs, those giveaway gestures that can tell you so much about a person. Train yourself to recognize and decode these key signs. Figuring out these moronic little indicators can save you a lot of time and effort.

1. Woman won't unlock car door for man - Doesn't engage in oral sex

2. Man gets in car without opening door for woman - No foreplay

3. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant - Prefers virgins

4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way - Is a virgin

5. Can't hail a cab - Impotent

6. Insists on going to a homely little cafe with windmill motif - Compulsive Don Quixote

7. Insists on going to a romantic candle-lit restaurant - Compulsive Don Juan

8. Insists on going to a Polynesian bar - Compulsive Don Ho

9. Wants to go to a French restaurant - Will swallow

10. Wants to go to a deli - Won't swallow

11. Takes too long deciding what to order - Has trouble reaching orgasm

12. Orders salad dressing on the side - Will give you a hand job, but will not go "all the way"

13. Gives explicit orders to waiter - Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed

14. Asks for extra rolls - Will say she is using birth control when she's not, will get pregnant and sue

15. Insists on ordering for you, referring to you as "The lady will have..." - Thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't

16. Asks for "The Usual" - Insists on missionary position only

17. Asks what the specials are - Will want you to use handcuffs

18. Fills up on bread and crackers - Premature ejaculation

19. Doesn't finish everything on plate - Has already cum

20. Insists on having some of whatever you ordered - Will make you sleep on the wet spot

21. Changes mind after ordering - Will never call you

22. Changes tables - Nymphomaniac

23. Drinks Decaffeinated. - Fakes Orgasm (Female)

24. Orders in French - Fakes Orgasm (Male)

25. Sends food back - Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, then try to borrow money
26. Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts - Needs you to talk dirty during sex

27. Orders a dessert involving ladyfingers - Wants a handjob

28. Orders a dessert involving nuts - Castrating Bitch

29. Wants to split dessert - Is dying to get rid of her apartment, move in with you, rearrange all your closets, and take down all your baseball posters

30. Credit card is refused - Low sperm count

31. Under tips waiter - Small penis

32. Under tips parking valet - Small penis

33. Under tips cabby - Small penis

34. Uses toothpick - Is trying to tell you size isn't everything

35. Removable cassette player in car - Pulls out repeatedly during sex

36. Cellular phone in car - Penile implant

firestarter665 43M/40F

4/19/2006 5:52 am

Very informative!! I'll have to check out what Mr. Fire does at dinner to see what his codes are!

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:21 am:
I bet the next time you dine out...this will come to mind.

NSAAddict 43F

4/19/2006 9:18 am

LMAO "17. Asks what the specials are - Will want you to use handcuffs"... hmmm I always like to hear the specials...

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:32 am:
I like hearing the specials too !!

rm_DarknStar 55F
2823 posts
4/19/2006 1:42 pm

THX for the infro! The next date I have, Ill pick them apart just to see what kind of a date they really ARE!

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:25 am:
I can see you now hon. Well let's see ... he is a # 17 and an # 13 !!!

docdirk 48M

4/19/2006 5:50 pm

Damn! I think I'll stick to ordering in Chinese and watching porn!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:27 am:
What is that saying..."Man cannot live by take-out and porn alone!!"

mycin62 55F

4/20/2006 1:09 am

This is too funny

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:28 am:
Thanks Cin!!

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