How To Spot A P.B.M.F.  

pragmaticCTcpl 63M/51F
3614 posts
2/2/2006 3:20 pm

Last Read:
10/9/2007 2:22 pm

How To Spot A P.B.M.F.

How To Spot A PBMF ~^~

Some people refer to them as “bastards.” Other’s, as “cold-hearted snakes.” Whatever you call them, they are male…good-looking…well-groomed…very sexually active…highly competitive…egocentric…controlling…manipulative…emotionally immature…ad nauseam…… get the picture.

I refer to them as P.B.M.F.’s…Pretty-Boy-Mother-Fucker’s..!

For those of you that have had PBMF’s come into your life (and hopefully, left again), you may or may not have encountered all of the traits that I’ve come to recognize and avoid.

For all of you that have yet to have a PBMF come into your life…PLEASE, take the time to look over this warning list of traits…better yet, make a copy of it, hold onto it, and if ANY of these warning signs begin to become apparent in that new guy…………..RUN..!!!!!!!

This type of man will draw you in…mess with your head…and break your heart.

1. He has a gym membership ‒ he uses it to be “spotted,” and uses it as an alternative to single’s bars.

2. He’s a “regular” at various bars and clubs on Friday’s and Saturday’s. He’ll usually be spotted with at least one male friend.

3. He’s a “Momma’s Boy.” He hasn’t “cut the cord” yet with his mother. She dotes on him, cooks special for him, at least once a week, and packs up the leftovers for him to take home. She STILL gives him money (whether he asks for it or not), lets him use HER phone for long-distance calls, lets him use HER car whenever he wants to (gas is so expensive!), and would defend to the death, HER little boy.

She will be the one to choose, buy, and wrap any presents he gets you for Christmas or your birthday.

He probably lived with her until he was 30 - 35 years old.

4. He frequents the beach, every weekend, during the summer. While mastering his suntan, he’ll “strategically” position his sunglasses so that he can scan for his next “victim.”

5. He’s CHEAP..!!!! The PBMF will argue that he’s “frugal,” but when a guy takes a cooler along in his car to his weekend bar or club, packed with ice, liquor, and mixers, “to save on the cost of drinking out,” or, ALWAYS takes home a “doggie-bag” when he goes out to eat at a restaurant (which will include YOUR leftovers, too, by shaming you to “only eat half…you don’t want to gain weight, do you?”, to save on groceries during the week, AND, uses coupons for EVERYTHING..!!!!

He reads every single “Sale” flier and sale ads from the Sunday newspapers, never turns down a free sample of anything (he can eat a full meal at Costco!), and shops at the Dollar Store.

If you ever run into him at a casino, be prepared to give him a ride home. He ALWAYS goes on one of the packet trips, by taking the bus (they give out a free buffet coupon, AND at least $10. in chips).

The closest thing to “eating out” for him will be where ever a restaurant gives you a free ice cream sundae if you have one of their featured entrée’s, a 2-for-1 coupon is part of the deal, or it’s his favorite restaurant, Hooters..! He’ll wear those free alcohol-promotion t-shirts all summer long.

Once you have both come to the point where your relationship is recognized as being a “couple,” expect to have to go “50-50” on any and all activities. If you leave your spare change around, don’t expect it to still be there if you order Chinese food or pizza delivered. You won’t find out until later, that it was YOUR money that was used to pay for it.

6. He carries a pre-paid phone card in his wallet…at ALL times (regular phone bills and cell phone bills have dates, times, and numbers called….PLUS, it’s CHEAPER!).

7. He ALWAYS takes longer getting ready to go out (in public), than you do. Vanity, run amok.

8. He enjoys watching the two of you having sex in a mirror. It’s not the added enjoyment of voyeurism in watching the two of you; he actually gets off watching himself.

9. He loves to brag about his accomplishments and past conquests (he’s a “legend in his own mind!”.

10. He’s a liar. Even about the “small stuff.” He’ll excuse getting caught in a lie by saying, “It’s no big deal, just a white lie.” And he does a very poor job at lying…he’ll contradict himself when trying to explain something you’ve caught him at, or turn it around on you, belittling you for not “trusting and understanding” him.

11. He’s unable to love anyone, except himself (his own mother places a distant second). He’s truly incapable of commitment. If you get sucked into his web of lies and deceit, and are around for a while, you’ll begin to learn of his long history of previous relationships. Inadvertently, at first, from family and friends, but once you begin to question him, you’ll see that he was incapable of giving his love.

This is the part that most women, susceptible to the PBMF, find almost impossible to break free from. Don’t delude yourself to think, “I’m the one that can show him how to love and commit to someone.”

You’ll probably start picking up more warning signs on this one. The “picture-perfect woman,” that’s in his mind. None of those qualities (all physical) will be in you, or quite good enough for him. He’ll start to point out those qualities in other women that are around when you are together. “Look at the length/color of her hair….see how small her waist is….she always knows how to dress sexy…or, why don’t you get your navel pierced?”

He’s a big fan of Britney Spears. His favorite television shows are “Blind Date,” “Temptation Island,” and “MTV” (only the “hot” female videos and interviews).

He’ll say that he doesn’t want to marry until he’s at least 40 years old. By then he’ll be able to be sure of the qualities in whom he wants to spend the rest of his life with..!

His perfect wife would be a foreign national mail-order bride, looking for a green card. He could absolutely demand and expect subservient behavior from her for at least five years (that’s how long U. S. citizenship usually takes).

12. As good as the sex is with him in the beginning; it’s going to go downhill as time goes on. /8

Inevitably, he’s going to have trouble reaching an orgasm. He may even become disinterested in the “routine” of sex with you. Excuses of being too tired, not feeling well, or some other lame-ass blow-off will tell you that he’s already spent a good part of his time NOT with you, with someone else. You may find out that the “best sex he ever had,” was when he was all by himself ...\8 , and, he probably owns, and uses, a blow-up doll…and probably prefers it over you because it doesn’t talk back, after the initial purchase, costs NOTHING to maintain, and can be put away, out of sight, when not in use.

He’ll start dropping hints to you about swinging. At first it may just be to find out what your fantasies, if any, are, après sex, or during “pillow-talk.” It may begin by having you join him while you both read the personal ads in some city entertainment weekly, and/or move onto a computer web site.

There may be long discussions about what it would mean to him…”I’m just curious…I’d NEVER want to leave you for someone else.”

If this area is explored, he will emphasize that he could never consent to anything other than a FMF situation. He’ll justify that by saying he wants you to satisfy your curiosity about having sex with another woman, but it can never be just you and another woman, without him….NEVER!

If you introduce him to a female friend or acquaintance that catches his interest, his first question to you, once out of hearing range of that person will be, “Is she bisexual?”

If you should be so bold as to suggest a MFM or a foursome with another couple. Expect to hear the words, “What’s in it for me,” even if it’s thinly disguised. WIIFM, is what he’s all about.

Face it're better off WITHOUT him.

NSAAddict 43F

2/4/2006 7:58 am

ROFLMAO!!! Thanks for the hysterical warning... I'll be on the look out! My favorite...

His perfect wife would be a foreign national mail-order bride, looking for a green card. He could absolutely demand and expect subservient behavior from her for at least five years (that’s how long U. S. citizenship usually takes).

Excellent post!

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