??? About Bisexual Women  

pragmaticCTcpl 63M/51F
3614 posts
2/11/2006 10:07 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

??? About Bisexual Women

??? About Bisexual Women

First, the definition, or at least mine, as to what is a bisexual woman.

To me, a bisexual woman is a woman who enjoys sexually being with, and has an attraction to, both men and women. You’ll notice that I italicized both in referring to men and women. That’s just a clarification to anyone who may have their own thoughts as to the differences between lesbian, straight, and bisexual.

Question 1. With that in mind, are most bisexual women married, or in a LTR with a man, living under the “mask” of being in a heterosexual-exclusive relationship?

Women, who truly are bisexual, usually don’t get in touch with their bisexuality because society, as a whole, judges that to be outside of “accepted norms.”

Some gay women are actually hostile towards bisexual women. They feel (and have openly stated) that a woman who has sex with both men and women is confused and are repressing their true feelings. It’s argued, like a defense mechanism, that you can’t possibly enjoy both, equally.

Question 2. Why is it, that you must “choose sides?”


Heterosexual women usually aren’t as vocal on the subject, but have firm convictions when they denigrate bisexual women as being “weird,” or “not right.” Their convictions are often punctuated by shuddering in disgust at the very thought or mention of it.

If the conditions are right, such as being aided by alcohol, or a partner who presses the issue, the heterosexual woman may reveal that they have from time to time been “curious” as to what it would be like to be with another woman. Most of those thoughts are expressed in a passive, bi-curious manner. “I’m curious to experience what it would be like to have another woman kiss/lick/touch me, but I wouldn’t reciprocate.”

Question 3. Has it become “hip” or “cool,” in society, to label yourself as “bisexual?”

Question 4. Do you have to be “out of the closet” in order to be true to yourself?

A 1. The person that I’m married to just happens to be a man. Our relationship was built on friendship and communication. Our love for one another came about as an extension of these two foundations and every aspect of our life together has, and continues to be, better than either one of us had ever experienced, or imagined was possible.

A 2. I don’t believe that I’ve “chosen sides.” My husband is my choice for a life-partner. His understanding of my attractions to other men and women isn’t constrained by societies narrow-minded views, nor does he possess any insecurity or jealousy where my libido is concerned.

A 3. Whether or not anyone considers me to be “hip” or “cool” for my bisexuality, doesn’t amount to a hill of beans to me.

A 4. The people that are close to me in my life, and truly mean something to me, know about my bisexuality. Everyone else…it’s none of their business. Where is it written that you have to “wave a flag,” or “wear a label,” for everyone to see?

Bottom line…my feeling is that you have to be true to yourself.

Question 5. Are you true to yourself?


rm_gimmedat01 39M

2/11/2006 3:55 pm

You said a mouthfull! I think that if you have the "what are other people gonna say or think" mentality then you can never be really true to yourself. Having said that, I know that I'm true to myself because I never care what people think! I do and say whatever the hell I want, respectfully, and if someone doesn't like it that's their problem not mine!


pragmaticCTcpl 63M/51F

2/12/2006 5:16 pm

gimmedat01- I believe that the only way to be happy is to make yourself happy. Thank you for your imput. Stay real. -PragmaticCTcpl


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