A Little More Cranky  

pipercat2000 57M
225 posts
9/5/2006 10:33 pm

Last Read:
10/20/2006 12:04 am

A Little More Cranky

I am finding truly amazing the shit I have seen the last few weeks. It’s as if mass blindness has fallen upon the people I know. Even the people I have barely met. Goddamn if I haven’t opened my eyes at the right time. How come I can see this shit and others cannot? I am no sage, prophet or fortune teller. This shit is written right on the wall in big block letters. Ah, but maybe this is some sort of hysterical blindness. A blindness afflicting those who have sight but wish not to see. So consumed by their own passions that the simple concept of reason is alien to them. Their dreams blinding them to the simple realities before them.

Flowery words describing people just being plain dumb. I will make my 46th orbit of the sun in October. All the pain and grief I have suffered the last few years have opened my eyes to the obvious. When people read my recent posts of my emergence I do hope they heard a huge popping sound. That was the sound my head popping out of my ass. Basically what I didn’t say before was, that I also realized I was full of shit! Still am. I just know it now. So if I can make that earth shattering realization why can’t others. I have decided to do things differently; that’s all. That what this whole journey has been about. I went back and read my whole damn blog before I wrote this. And this paragraph sums it up.

Please don’t think I am belittling my own journey. I am not by a long shot. But what I haven’t noticed till now was that I was lucky. If you can call it that. An unfortunate choice of words but true nonetheless. The death of my friend, Beast and surprise of being the same as everyone else. I ran through the full gambit of emotions. I have been listening to music again. I don’t feel left out. I have found my center. I used the obstacles as a guide, a sign if you will. So what the fuck is with everybody else? Goddammit we aint kids no more! This is the shit we did when we were teenagers. Stop playing some sort of bizarre role. Reconcile yourselves to the REALITY of things. Stop, take a breath, count to five, talk to someone or just slow down a bit. And another thing, don’t listen to the shit you’ll hear from others. It is just that, pure unrefined, stinky and slimy shit. Who cares what the fuck they think anyway. Fuck em!

I told my friend not to do anything stupid when we talked about the loss of our brother. Problem is now, I’m too fucking late. So, now it’s time to clean up the mess. Time to start changing the old routine. Time to maybe look around and smell the shit on your shoes. The shit you already stepped in. My friends I am not being mean, flip or insensitive. You are precious to me. But, if you continue on this path of self destruction, you will follow this path alone. I will not follow. I have made that trip to the edge of the abyss. I do not intend to make it again. I will not discard you nor will I be silent as you follow this path. I am holding out my hand. If you refuse to take it, then I have done all I can. I have my own life to live. I have a new life with a new outlook. I am seeing things like before, but with a new vision. So, the choice is yours. I offer this, a quick fast slap to the chops. Maybe it will slap some sense into you.

Maybe I’m seeing things a little better than you are.

Raveheart2005 51M

9/6/2006 1:01 pm

well said and I heard it didnt just read it thank you Bro I needed this one...Rave

_RoSe_ 48F
994 posts
9/6/2006 5:19 pm

If I need to be slapped, do it now, don't want to walk to the edge of the abyss, and don't want to go without you.

"A life without passion is not a life; it is merely an existence."

pipercat2000 57M

9/6/2006 9:00 pm

I want to make a general comment.

There are a lot of plurals here. I am here to help but only if I am asked. To those to whom I am closest: I am in the middle of setting up plan "C". This will require a lot of energy and time. Including a trip to California in the very near future. I may seem distant. No, just determined right now. To be blunt, I really don't have the time for these types of distractions anymore. This is my place, my blog. I will ofcourse pop in and chat from time to time also, I am honor bound to attend the two events coming up. September 23 and October 7th. After that... Well, we'll see


pipercat2000 57M

9/8/2006 11:08 am

Now those close were, and are, acting stupid. I really ratcheted up the anger here. But guess what, I see some are listening. There’s that hope I was talking about before.

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