A Few Jokes...  

phoenixxx1975 42M
4 posts
3/15/2006 9:38 pm

Last Read:
3/19/2006 5:57 am

A Few Jokes...


-Four Secrets of successful relationships:

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.

2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.

3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.

4. It is very important that these three women never meet.

-A Trip to the Barber Shop...A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the chair eating a cupcake, while her dad gets his haircut. The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin." "I know," she replies, "I'm gonna get tits too."

-Bad News: A man jumped out of a plane.
Good News: He had a parachute on.
Bad News: It didn't work.
Good News: There was a haystack below him.
Bad News: A pitchfork is sticking out of the haystack.
Good News: He missed the pitchfork.
Bad News: He missed the haystack.

-A lawyer calls a plumber. The plumber arrives, works for a few minutes and hands the lawyer a $600 bill. The lawyer rages, "$600?! This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much money and I'm a lawyer!" The plumber turns and says, "Neither did I when I was a lawyer."

-What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other one holds groceries.

-A guy walks in and says to his wife, "The guys at work think the mailman has slept with every lady on our block except one." The wife replies, "It's probably that stuck up bitch, Betty Smith, from down the street."

-How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

-How can you tell when a Polish woman is done sucking cock? She spits out the feathers.

-Two hobo's met on the tracks...

Hobo 1: I’ve had a great day... I found $20 on the tracks and have been drunk all day!

Hobo 2: Wow that is great, mine has been pretty good too...

Hobo 1: What happened?

Hobo 2: I was walking down the tracks when I found a beatiful woman tied to the tracks.. I untied her and we had wild sex all day!

Hobo 1: Wow...did she give good head?

Hobo2: head? I couldnt find her head...

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
3/15/2006 9:47 pm

-A Trip to the Barber Shop...A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the chair eating a cupcake, while her dad gets his haircut. The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin." "I know," she replies, "I'm gonna get tits too."
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LOL!!! Sounds like me as a kid! My poor parents were embarrassed all the time!


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