Boundaries?  

patsam69 52M/52F
704 posts
7/27/2005 7:03 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Boundaries?

I was talking to the man we are to meet this Friday night last night on IM. He asked me if I was nervous about the meeting and, of course, I answered yes. He said he was too. I asked him if there was anything he wanted to ask me, and he said not now, that when we met we would have time to discuss any boudaries. I told him that I don't have a list...please do this...No, don't do that. Then I let this part of our conversation drop because I think he really prefers to discuss it in person. Well, this got me thinking...What are my boundaries in this lifestyle that we have adopted? I think only one other man has asked us what we allow. This is what I came up with.....

1. No anal. I am not a big anal fan. Not that
if we met repeatedly with the same man over
time I would keep saying no, But I prefer not
to, especially when you first meet.

2. ALWAYS, ALWAYS use condoms when having
intercourse.

3. NO PAIN!!!!!!! A little nibble here and
there is always good , but I am not into
nippleclamps, spanking, any sort of
humiliation.

4. I am not a big S & M fan. Had a man tell me
once that I would love it if I wore a butt
plug for him while we met at a bar for drinks.
UH....NO. I don't mind being dominated
slightly in the bedroom, but there are times
when I like to be in control too. And I don't
enjoy the extremes of this.

Other than these...I believe anything that sexually consenting adults want to do is great!
I suppose I should be more strict with the oral part of sex. I read some blogs on here, and people speak of condoms with blowjobs...oral dams for cunninglus. I do not want to suck on a condom. I want to suck and lick and enjoy a cock. I want to feel a tongue on me. I do not want saran wrap between me and that tongue.
As for fellatio and swallowing...I am a swallowing kind of girl. But if I don't want to...I won't. And if you want to put it someplace else on my body...just ask me!

So...what are your boundaries?


ANewLevel4Us 39M/38F

7/27/2005 8:09 am

We are currently working on what our boundaries are when we finally try swinging. Your list helped me get some ideas... thanks. Right now we both agree that kissing is a little too intimate for us starting out. Anal sex too... my husband said he wants something exclusively reserved for him.


AltumHunksUnite 54M

7/27/2005 10:00 am

It sounds like you're handling this the right way. There are so many people who just jump into this without knowing what to expect. Spontaneity has its limits.

Hope it turns out to be fun and satisfying for all of you.

Let me drive. I like the view


Philosophy_N_Sex 50M/48F

7/27/2005 10:41 am

We have pretty much the same limits, and have stored the list of do's and don't when we were "interviewing" guys.
Funny how many times when we send the list they never reply again, or start to argue about them. Have even been told by some guy that it is "worthless to him if she wont take it in the ass" He got a very to the point reply of what is "worthless."

Also I am sure you noticed many guys do not want to deal with the husband. Funny with a couples profile what did they expect?

Am glad you found someone! Hopefully the memories last a life time. Do share the details! wink


patsam69 52M/52F

7/27/2005 1:01 pm

Anewlevel4us...I am glad I could help! I do kiss the men we meet. It is intimate...but I feel that sex is intimate, and if I am going to suck his cock, I am going to kiss him. Kissing as part of sex is important to me. I will be honest, It was difficult for my husband to see me kiss a man the first few times...but he is fine with it now. Swinging is not an instant thing...It really is a learning process. If you ever want to chat about it....drop me an email! S


expatbrit49 63M

7/27/2005 5:48 pm

Oh Id be happy living with yours

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


patsam69 52M/52F

7/27/2005 6:33 pm

Cleavis...thanks....I am very hopeful that it will be great fun!

P N S...Worthless?? Now that is rich....I bet he spends many, many nights alone. I hope you gave it to him good. I havent had a problem with men not wanting to talk to my husband. I generally do most of the searching...but most decent men ask about my husband at least.


patsam69 52M/52F

7/28/2005 6:12 am

Expat....Are you flirting with me?? LOL


redmustang91 58M  
8917 posts
8/8/2005 10:08 am

Good list and very reasonable. Any guy who could not enjoy sex within those boundaries is an ass! Good luck!


pakrat1 50M/49F
33 posts
10/7/2005 9:47 am

(Husband) We have few boundries also. Kissing is a must anal is rare, maybe one day(i fantasize of DP, Cheryl doesn't enjoy cumming in her mouth (she did make me one day though but it was a very hot session) or her ears and eyes..more or less anywhere below lips are fine, and no excessive pain. condoms are in certain situations...if the other guy can prove d/d free we love it w/out condoms. I love to see the cum dripping out of her love blindfolds and ropes at some times but not the whole time...not into humiliation either...just lust and fun


pakrat1 50M/49F
33 posts
10/7/2005 9:48 am

(Husband) We have few boundaries also. Kissing is a must anal is rare, maybe one day(i fantasize of DP, Cheryl doesn't enjoy cumming in her mouth (she did make me one day though but it was a very hot session) or her ears and eyes..more or less anywhere below lips are fine, and no excessive pain. condoms are in certain situations...if the other guy can prove d/d free we love it w/out condoms. I love to see the cum dripping out of her love blindfolds and ropes at some times but not the whole time...not into humiliation either...just lust and fun


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