ohsodelicious 58F
1747 posts
11/7/2005 7:44 pm

Last Read:
11/12/2006 10:44 pm


There is always 'someone' whining that women are rude because they don't answer the IM's, winks, network invitations, and/or emails sent. I try to be kind and answer each one...but that has proven to be an impossibility...I feel the need to explain... 'as best as I can'... the reasons why women don't respond...as men might like.

I appreciate that you feel women have been rude to you, but try to understand these few things.

1. Volume. Women get anywhere from 10-100 emails every single day. Standard members, which most women are, can respond to 10 emails a day (sometimes fewer depending on the site). Do the math. It is impossible to respond to everyone who emails us, much less respond to winks and network invitations!

2. Time. Now assume that the woman is not a standard member, but is a paying one. That gives her unlimited responses. Most people have a limited time they may spend online. I would have to hire staff to answer all the emails, winks, and invites. And, although it might be hard to believe, sometimes I go out of town or are otherwise unable to get to my computer.

3. Inappropriateness. Lots of men email without reading the profiles, or if they do read them they don't seem to care whether they meet our requests or not. I think they just like to look at the pretty pictures, and then send out emails to the ones they like. Or they just send blanket emails to every woman within a certain age group or area or something the same email, without reading the profile. I do know other local women, and yes, we do compare notes. We know when you send the exact same email to everyone.

In other cases, for example, I ask for no dick pics in my profile, and so they send three. I say I want nothing kinky, and they write they want to tie me up and fuck me in the ass. Now tell me why I should respond to that kind of shit.

4. Brevity. One line messages saying, "I'd love to meet you," often gets me to their profile, but usually their profile is just as brief. I know nothing about them. Why, if they are unable to provide more than one line, do they deserve anything from me?

5. No picture. With no picture I have absolutely no information upon which to base a judgment of my ability to be physically attracted to you. I understand if you don't want to put a face shot on an adult site, but show me your body (NOT your cock). Plus, if we do meet I pretty much guarantee I will see your face. (If I don't, the date won't last very long!) This isn't shallow, this is the way attraction works. We have to see each other.

6. Rudeness. "Wanna get together and fuck?" or "I'd love to tit-fuck you," do not deserve my attention. If you read my profile you would realize I don't go for the fast fuck. Also pictures of you with other women, pictures of porn actors, and pictures of men I have seen before on other profiles, are all rude. Just because a woman is on an adult site does not mean she is some cum-slut here to service you. I am a human being with feelings and deserve to be treated as such.

7. Repercussions. Many times, not just occasionally, when a woman does respond, she gets replies to that response. The replies range from arguing, to begging, to name-calling, to threats. There are lots of other blogs that recount some of these emails, and believe me, they put a real damper on the enthusiasm to respond.

8. Uncertainty. Sometimes I'm not sure whether I want to meet someone or not. I need to think about it for a few days. Or I need to see whether this other man I am about to meet works out or not. I don't want to say no just yet. I'm still on the fence, so to speak.

9. Winks. Since when does a wink deserve a response anyway? If you wink at me on the street do you expect a response? If I feel like responding I will, but come on now! It's just a wink, for god's sake.

10. Network invites. I'm lost, I thought guys who wanted to join a network, wanted to get know the person. That does not seem to be the common practice. Why, request to join a network; if you have no intention of making contact with that person?

Fuckzest 57M
3 posts
11/14/2005 6:26 am

Glad for the advice. I had a notion that volume might be a problem in getting responses. The normal rules of attraction are not suspended just because this is on the Net. However genuine guys like me still have to face the fact that we are lumped together with the "rude" and "no-hopers". Constant non-replies is a turn off for us, so perhaps in some cases a loss of perspective looms against a background of anger. Still not a proper reason for abusing the service or the ladies that are looking for that little bit of respect and a little extra. Try AdultFriendFinder for a different, gentler, sensitive experience.

ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
11/16/2005 7:00 pm

Thank you!! For your post; but, understand the main reason, I posted this comment...was because, I have had a lot of people...send 'rude' email...when I did not respond...I'm just trying to meet...good people...{{scenario}}...chit-chat with someone local-meet/greet, great chemistry and become "FWB"...chit-chat with someone 'out there in this vast world' become friends (who knows) and continue to chat..."Shit I met this 'hot' guy/girl and we had a 'fucking' good time..."WE" are all here (on this site) for a reason..."Ultimately" to hook-up...but, what is wrong with just being friends if...a "hook-up" is not possible....am I being 'unrealistic'...

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