The Battle has begun...  

ohsodelicious 58F
1747 posts
6/16/2006 1:29 pm

Last Read:
8/15/2006 8:51 pm

The Battle has begun...

The shit hit the fan...and I got splattered from head to toe!!

Quick background...My son has a 3yr old son...his Ex refuses to let him see his son...he got to go to his B'day party {this year} on Apr 21st {it had been at least 4 months since he had seen his son}...last Thursday Jun 9th was the 1st time he was able to see him since the party {the Ex graciously allowed me to take G'son, to my sons' work for about 15 mins...MIGHTY FUCKING WHITE OF HER}...My son and my G'son are my world!!

Yesterday, I woke up in a great mood...loving life!! I check my phone...see that the 'Ex' had called twice...I give her a call and ask what's up...the shit just exploded...I was attacked by her!!

I'm sure you know what this is about...I'm sure you paid for it...{I'm dazed...I have no ideal what the hell she's ranting about}...he doesn't have the money you must of paid...I just got served papers...he wants joint custody...there is no way that is going to happen...I'll drag him through the mud...

HOLLY!! SHIT!! What a way to start off the day!! I am finally able to tell her I didn't pay for shit...{{even though I did tell my son he needed to pull his head out of his ass...because his son needed him in his life and do something about the situation...and yes I would help pay if he needed my help...but he didn't}}...and all my son wants is to be able to have visitation rights...maybe the joint custody verbage is standard...Hell! I have no ideal!! Bottom Line...he just wants to see his son!!


She continued to make all kind of threats...I'm going to tell the judge he does tattoos out of his house...{even though he did tattoos out of the house to support her at one time also}...I'm going to tell the judge there is no way I'll let my son go to his house because he has Pit bulls...whatever she could think of she ranted about...I hate him...I know he never loved me...his new girlfriend is crazy and would hurt the G'son to get him out of the picture...I Hate...I Hate...Blah! Blah!!

Finally!! I'm already in tears...upset beyond measure...Because she had dropped a BOMB!! I just told her...I'm going to hang-up NOW!! Before we both say things that we will regret later!!


The Bomb!! I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SEE MY G'SON...UNTIL THIS IS ALL SETTLED AND OVER!!

This shit sucks!! Sad does not even come close to how I feel...it feels as though a hole has opened-up in my heart and it is so painful!!


HBowt2 60F

6/17/2006 1:54 am

I know how much this one hurts you and there is very little anyone can say to make it easier....my friend had a saying...'water will find it's own level'....it was just her way of remembering that in the end the kids will do what they want and see who they want to see when they are old enough....don't buy into her anger....support your son....and most of all my friend....BREATHE......


MOfunNOWWOW 56F

6/17/2006 2:43 pm

Ohso my heart is hurting for ya. I can not imagine my sunshine being taken from me. You know grandparents CAN petition for rights as well sugar!!!! Breathe, believe, and trust that everything will be alright. It will...if ya need a tough old shoulder or a cauliflower ear...look no further...IN YOUR CORNER and fixing to callous my knees! I love you girl and DADDY ain't gonna take away your love from your treasures! They know YOU...remember that! {=}


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


TripleHARD3 58M

6/18/2006 9:18 pm

ohsodelicious; do u want 2 start a fan club

TripleHARD3
'worlds' biggest shit and damn proud of it'


RockPebble 70M
2493 posts
6/19/2006 7:54 am

Poor baby, you're way to fucking nice for this shit.

Send her a very nice thank you card and add a note thanking her for letting you know what was going on so you can offer your son some money to help with his bills since he was too proud to ask you first.

Also, try to keep your contact with her to notes so you have a paper trail to show the court how sweet she is. A good private detective following her around is always a nice touch too if you want to get even and you may just learn something that will help.

Good luck
XOXO


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/20/2006 2:53 pm

    Quoting fun1968xxx:
    It's just awful that people do this to each other when there relationship ends. What is criminal is when they use the kids as threats and weapons against each other.

    I remember one of the saddest days in my life was being a kid of maybe 7 or 8, standing at the lounge room window of our flat, watching my dad down stairs being asked to leave by the police because my mum wouldn't let him visit. He had driven over 6 hours and was running late and she cancelled on him. My mum loved us, but that day I saw a very cold and vendictive side to someone who cared for us. She used us to hurt her (at that time) soon to be ex husband.

    They had a long and bitter divorce, and even longer and more bitter custody battles. He had to fight all the way to see us a few weekends a year and a few weeks of school holidays. He didn't have much money, but he spent what he could fighting to see us. The time we did spend with him was doing simple things like camping and fishing, spending time together, getting to know each other, having fun. Which was sometimes hard, because our mum would always be telling us how bad he was, and not to trust him. It took a couple of days each time to realise it wasn't true.

    I told him our home phone number, he used to ring in the morning before school to say hi, she found out and changed the number to a silent one and didn't tell us the new number. She used to throw away his birthday cards and presents. I knew that because you get a card in the mail to say you have a parcel to be collected from the post office. The letter box was locked, but I remember getting a stick and taking the letters out everyday leading up to my birthday one year. I found the card to say we had a parcel, but I never got my present...

    It took me 35 years to decide if I could be a good parent. I never wanted my kids to go through that shit!
fun{=} How sorry I am for that little boy...that part of you that still remembers. I think it is a shame when parents {or adults} use their children that way. When what they should be concerned about is what is best for the child. That is and always will be my main concern...what is best for my G'son! I can't under stand what the Ex's problem is...she had to of known this was going to happen...she won't let my son see his son. WTF! He is trying to do what is right and be a part of his sons' life. And of course I get the fall-out...by not being allowed to see my G'son. What a crock!!

Hugs...OhSo{=}


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/20/2006 2:59 pm

    Quoting spunky11961:
    This just wrenches my heart inside out!If only people could feel the pain that their self centered actions inflict on others!All I can say is that I'll keep my fingers crossed and You and the grandkid in my thoughts! best wishes for you your son and the grand kid.
spunky...Thank you for your kind words It broke my heart when she told me I couldn't see my G'son until after everything was settled. She had to of known something was going to happen...she wouldn't let my son see his little boy. I can't understand why she is being so pig headed

Hugs...OhSo{=}


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/20/2006 3:06 pm

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    OOOoohhh that sooo sucks..its just sooo frigging bad that girl just don't get she ain't hurting ya..she hurting that lil baby..lordy hun..ya think that drama shit would be over when we become grandmas..I'll send up a prayer for ya sister..hang in there.
huny...Thanks!! What really pisses me off is she does not seem all that concerned about how all this and some of her other decisions do affect that little boy. If she wasn't so damn spiteful...this wouldn't be happening! You know what really hurts...I took care of the girl {and G'son} for two years when her parents turned their back on her...and this is how I'm repaid!!

hunybee Hugs...OhSo{=}


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/20/2006 3:25 pm

    Quoting HBowt2:
    I know how much this one hurts you and there is very little anyone can say to make it easier....my friend had a saying...'water will find it's own level'....it was just her way of remembering that in the end the kids will do what they want and see who they want to see when they are old enough....don't buy into her anger....support your son....and most of all my friend....BREATHE......
HB Oh!! You better believe it hurts like the dickens!! And my son knows I got his back and will support him what ever happens. If she would of been mature about the whole situation...it would not have had to go this far...but she wouldn't let my son see the baby. Shit she should be grateful my son wants to be involved in his sons' life. A lot of guys would just walk away and never look back.
You can bet your last dollar that I'm not going to let her drag me into her cesspool of anger and hate...when we were talking on the phone that day she was ranting and raving...I just told her I'm going to hang-up now before either of us say something that we will regret! I had me a nice cry...then went and talked to my son. Eventually, things will work out for the best...hopefully it won't take to long And no matter what that little guy knows G'ma and Daddy love him UNCONDITIONALLY!! What is so sad...is everytime I had my G'son I always told him that his daddy loved him...but couldn't see him right now!!


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/20/2006 3:47 pm

    Quoting MOfunNOWWOW:
    Ohso my heart is hurting for ya. I can not imagine my sunshine being taken from me. You know grandparents CAN petition for rights as well sugar!!!! Breathe, believe, and trust that everything will be alright. It will...if ya need a tough old shoulder or a cauliflower ear...look no further...IN YOUR CORNER and fixing to callous my knees! I love you girl and DADDY ain't gonna take away your love from your treasures! They know YOU...remember that! {=}
M Thanks sweetheart!! It does wonders for the soul knowing that you...and everyone else can relate...and by sharing a soothing word or two...help to sooth the pain, the hurt and the anger.
Hopefully, I will not have to petition the courts myself...once everything is settled with my son...I should be able to see my G'son again...but I did tell my son if she was a butt hole about me seeing him...I would petition the court also. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed and hope it does not come to that point. Thanks for being in my corner...and put plenty of lotion on them knees Lov ya Cuz!!

Kisses...OhSo{=}


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/20/2006 3:54 pm

    Quoting TripleHARD3:
    ohsodelicious; do u want 2 start a fan club

    TripleHARD3
    'worlds' biggest shit and damn proud of it'
TH3... Damn!! That was original Thanks for stopping by my Blog...

shaking head...OhSo{=}


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/20/2006 4:06 pm

    Quoting RockPebble:
    Poor baby, you're way to fucking nice for this shit.

    Send her a very nice thank you card and add a note thanking her for letting you know what was going on so you can offer your son some money to help with his bills since he was too proud to ask you first.

    Also, try to keep your contact with her to notes so you have a paper trail to show the court how sweet she is. A good private detective following her around is always a nice touch too if you want to get even and you may just learn something that will help.

    Good luck
    XOXO
Rock{=} Holy shit!! I don't think I have ever heard you cuss before...calm down sweetheart...I don't want you to have a heart attack!! But...Thank You!! It's nice to know I'm not the only one outraged!! All I have ever wanted was what was best for that little boy...and seeing and spending time with his Dad is for the best...why can't she see it...she had to figure my son was not going to give up without a fight...he just wants to see his son.

Kisses...OhSo{=]


goodguysneedit2 57M

6/20/2006 9:09 pm

Oh man... nothing uglier than bullshit like that when somebody uses a child for freakin' ransom...while holding love as the hostage.

Okay..so son doesn't take him to his house, instead he takes him to grandma's house. Find a way to shut that bitch up..a legal way. Stick the dagger of control back into her heart... and know I'm ranting without any viable legal advice, it's just the way I feel.

I'm behind you all the way Oh.. hope it changes soon.


rm_ohsolustful 59M
859 posts
6/21/2006 9:46 am

Hang in there Sweetheart, Go apply for grandparents visitation rights. I don't know if you have them down there but up here in jersey you can get them. I am sure you won't let some selfcentered lil spoiled bitch come between you and your grandchil. Keep fighting, be there for the kid and try to stay out of the crap between the two parents. Go get em.......Best wishes to you, I hope everything works out well. I would say a prayer for you but with my badboy track record it might hurt more than help....on second thought , Ill do it for you anyway


reverend21 50M
1913 posts
6/21/2006 7:50 pm

Get a lawyer and take her to court for your right to see your grandson


TTigerAtty 63M

6/22/2006 9:25 am

I'm so sorry for your son and you, OhSo!

You have legal rights as a grandmother. Your son obviously has rights as the father.

Two types of custody: legal custody (for purposes of making legally binding decisions involving the child) and physical custody (for purposes of determining who the child stays with and is raised by).

Your son should try to get the court to grant him "joint legal custody" and "joint physical custody". If the mother gets "primary physical custody", then your son should get liberal visitation privileges. The important thing as that your son have frequent contact with his son through the years. When your grandson is older, he will be able to decide which parent he wants to live with. I'd try to avoid putting the kid in that difficult position. Your grandson will benefit from having as normal contact with mother, father and grandparents as reasonably possible. The main thing for your son is to get "joint legal custody" and either "joint physical custody" or liberal visitation rights. You may also want to "legally" protect your rights to time with your grandson by having that explicitly specified in the final Child Custody Agreement.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your son, his ex and your grandson. Get them all to calm down if you can.


rm_bigchoklatdk 46M

6/22/2006 7:06 pm

Prayin' 4 you!!

Holla.


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/22/2006 9:58 pm

    Quoting goodguysneedit2:
    Oh man... nothing uglier than bullshit like that when somebody uses a child for freakin' ransom...while holding love as the hostage.

    Okay..so son doesn't take him to his house, instead he takes him to grandma's house. Find a way to shut that bitch up..a legal way. Stick the dagger of control back into her heart... and know I'm ranting without any viable legal advice, it's just the way I feel.

    I'm behind you all the way Oh.. hope it changes soon.
G'Guy...I have tried everything I could think of...even your suggestion...I bring my G'son to a neutral location {my house} so that my son could...visit his son...she would not agree. This is my sons' last resort...he did not want things to go this far...but his Ex is being uncooperative...he just wants to see his boy. At least he {my son} is being a man and trying to accept his responsibility! Why can't she just get that through her head. It should all be about...what is in the best interest of the baby...but unfortunately...with her it is not!!

Hugs...OhSo


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/22/2006 10:17 pm

    Quoting rm_ohsolustful:
    Hang in there Sweetheart, Go apply for grandparents visitation rights. I don't know if you have them down there but up here in jersey you can get them. I am sure you won't let some selfcentered lil spoiled bitch come between you and your grandchil. Keep fighting, be there for the kid and try to stay out of the crap between the two parents. Go get em.......Best wishes to you, I hope everything works out well. I would say a prayer for you but with my badboy track record it might hurt more than help....on second thought , Ill do it for you anyway
OhSoL...Check it out sweetheart...my track record is not anything to brag about either...but...I know in my heart...no matter what ...when someone sends a pray...and the intentions of that pray are 'pure' of heart {I hope you understand that one}...those prayers are heard! I'm pretty sure I would have legal recourse if she tried to pull some shit with my visitation...but I'm going to wait and see what the outcome is with my son first...and see how she deals with me afterward...then I'll decide what to do. I hope things will not go that far...but I have already told my son...if worse comes to worse...I will take her to court...if I have to do so. So keep your fingers crossed and send up a little prayer.

Hugs...OhSo {=}


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/22/2006 10:26 pm

    Quoting marchbrown1:
    Sorry to hear of the shit that is going on. Especially for the kid. He is the innocent one and his life is being affected by the ex's attitude..

    Cross my fingers that she sense!

march...Thanks!! It is a difficult situation...and I have tried repeatedly to get it through her head that...what is best for the baby...should be the main issue...but...she is being stubborn!! That is why my son...was forced to take her to court...just so he could see his son. What a shame it had to end this way!!

Hugs...OhSo


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/22/2006 10:34 pm

    Quoting reverend21:
    Get a lawyer and take her to court for your right to see your grandson
rev I'm going to hold out on that...until after my sons' hearing...as a last resort...if necessary...I will take the steps required...I will not be 'cut' out of my G'sons life...there is NO FUCKING WAY {excuse the language} I will let that happen!!

grim smile...OhSo


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/22/2006 11:05 pm

    Quoting TTigerAtty:
    I'm so sorry for your son and you, OhSo!

    You have legal rights as a grandmother. Your son obviously has rights as the father.

    Two types of custody: legal custody (for purposes of making legally binding decisions involving the child) and physical custody (for purposes of determining who the child stays with and is raised by).

    Your son should try to get the court to grant him "joint legal custody" and "joint physical custody". If the mother gets "primary physical custody", then your son should get liberal visitation privileges. The important thing as that your son have frequent contact with his son through the years. When your grandson is older, he will be able to decide which parent he wants to live with. I'd try to avoid putting the kid in that difficult position. Your grandson will benefit from having as normal contact with mother, father and grandparents as reasonably possible. The main thing for your son is to get "joint legal custody" and either "joint physical custody" or liberal visitation rights. You may also want to "legally" protect your rights to time with your grandson by having that explicitly specified in the final Child Custody Agreement.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, your son, his ex and your grandson. Get them all to calm down if you can.
Tig...Thanks!! For some of the 'Legal Beagle' advice...You can bet your Law Degree...I have tried and tried...to be a mediator in this situation...she has just been so 'pig headed'...and would not let my son, see his son...this is his final recourse...he just wants to do the right thing and be a part of his sons' life...I know for sure my son is requesting to 'legitimized' his son {they were never married}...she didn't understand that aspect...my concept my be vague...but I told her basically...that if my son died {today} the baby would not be entitled to anything {ie...social security benefits}...I'm pretty sure the papers she was served indicated 'joint legal custody'...I should probably call the lawyer and get him to explain every thing to me...at least that way I'll understand what is going on a little more {this is a first for me}...SOOO your telling me that at the time my son stands before the judge...he can request that I have specific visitation rights also...I would not have to go through the 'bullshit' to get my own visitation rights...the same kind of BATTLE!! POleeaase let me know!!

Your eternal servant...OOPS! I forgot...I don't have a subservient bone in my body...LOL...Lotsa Kisses...

grateful...OhSo


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/22/2006 11:10 pm

choklat...Thank you OhSomuch!! It means so much...to know that there are so many OhSowonderful people pulling for me...and mine!!

Hugs...OhSo [lips no longer available]


ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
6/28/2006 12:51 am

    Quoting rm_alamo1235:
    Ohso,

    I am so sorry to hear that.

    I truly hope it works out and you will be able to see your Grandson soon. And as often as you desire.
alamo...I'm keeping my fingers crossed...hoping everything will work out for the best!!??!!

Hugs...OhSo{=}


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