Okay...a few more jokes for the masses...  

obsidianshadow 54M
0 posts
10/14/2005 8:01 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Okay...a few more jokes for the masses...

First, here's a linky for some downtime. Put on your thinking cap and get ready to solve the Pringle's puzzle:


Oh, and if you can recall the days of dial.up access, this one will give ya a real flashback:


Alrighty ~ so without further adieu, let me pull some decent jokes out of the hat...

Just Who IS Barney, Anyway?

Start with the given:


Change all U's to V's (which is proper Latin):


Extract all Roman Numerals:


Convert into Arabic values:

100 5 5 50 500 1 5

Add all the numbers:

100 + 5 + 5 + 50 + 500 + 1 + 5 = 666


Thus: Barney is Satan.

The Mysterious Substance

A big-time executive walked into a bar and sat down next to a drunk who was studying something in his hand. The executive leaned closer as the drunk held the object up to the light.

"Well, it looks like plastic," the drunk said. Then as he was rolling it around in his fingers, he added, "...and it feels like rubber."

Curious the executive asked, "What do you have there?"

The drunk shook his head. "Damned if I know. It looks like plastic and feels like rubber!"

The executive said, "Let me take a look."

He examined it, rolled it between his fingers and said, "Yeah, you're right. It does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don't know what it is. Where did you get it?"

The drunk replied, "Out of my nose!"


Okay...and to end this on a better note...

Wide Load

Little Johnny's mother took him with her to the bank on a busy Friday. They were in line behind a rather obese lady wearing a business outfit complete with a pager. As the mother patiently waited, Lil' Johnny looked at the woman in front of him and observed loudly, "Hey, Mom, she's REALLY FAT."

The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother, and gave an understanding smile. Lil' Johnny quickly received a quiet reprimand.

After a minute or two, Lil' Johnny spread his hands as far as they would go, and loudly said, "I bet her butt is this wide."

Upon hearing his outburst, the lady glared first at Johnny, and then at his embarrassed mother. Lil Johnny's mother subsequently scolded him severely.

Again, after a couple of minutes, Lil Johnny stated loudly, "Look how the fat hangs over her belt."

The lady wheeled around and told Johnny's mother to control her rude child. Johnny’s mother then threatened her unruly son with his very life and existence if he didn't behave.

Things in the bank were quiet for a time, and the lady had finally moved to the front of the line when her pager began to emit its distinctive tone.

Little Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice, "Run for your life Mom, she's backing up!!!!"

}: )~ Have a great weekend everyone!

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