Hi Ho, Hi Ho...and other dwarf pick up lines...  

obsidianshadow 55M
0 posts
10/18/2005 4:52 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...and other dwarf pick up lines...

Listening to: Burning for You ~ Blue Öyster Cult

Okay, first off ~ this photograph is just plain freaky. Whoever created this one:

1) Is a PhotoShop / PaintShopPro guru
2) Has entirely too much time on their hands
3) Has a warped sense of humor ~ I like that : )
4) Definitely has a creative mind *grin*

Anyway, I just thought that one was worth sharing with the masses ~ it still cracks me up everytime I see it. I have some others I'll stash in this journal from time to time, too.

Today has been a really weird.ass day. Partially due to to the fact I actually have two days off this week (today being the second day off). I think it must also have something to do with the Full Moon yesterday and accompanying lunar eclipse. Things like that always have a tendency to stir the pot...to me, at least.

I've been overloading on the 80's tunage today while working on a couple of commissioned art pieces. It's brought back to mind a lot of things ~ good, bad and indifferent, alike. Having a photographic memory makes some things all the more vivid. You know what they say about a two-edged sword cutting both ways...

heh heh...now this is more like it }: )~

Listening to: Photograph ~ Def Leppard

Let me dig out a couple of jokes for your entertainment...

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Use It, or Lose It

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband naked, in bed, with a lovely, hot young thing. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Honey, before you leave, I want you to hear how all this came about."

The wife stopped to listen as he continued, "I was driving along the highway, and I saw this young girl looking very tired and bedraggled. So, I offered her a lift. She was quite hungry, so I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast you didn't like in the refrigerator. She had only some very worn sandals, so I gave her a pair of shoes you had discarded simply because they were out of style."

"She was cold, so I gave her the sweater I bought you for your birthday - you remember, the one you never wore because the colors didn't suit you. Her pants were tattered and torn, so I gave her a pair of your slacks that were perfectly good, but much too small for you now."

The wife seemed to have no problem with any of this, but still needed just one question to be answered. "That's all fine and good," she said, "but why did I find you both in our bed with NO clothes on?"

The husband quickly replied, "Well, that's actually simple to explain. You see, as she was about to leave the house, she turned to me and asked, ‘Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore??’"

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Oh, How Thoughtful...

There was a married couple who were in a terrible car accident, and the wife's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny. The husband then offered to donate some of his skin ~ however, the only place suitable was from his buttocks. The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the wife's new beauty. She looked radiant and more beautiful than ever! All her friends and relatives just ranted and raved at her new youthful appearance!

She was alone with her husband one day, and wanted to thank him for what he did. "Dear," she cooed, "I just want to thank you for everything you did for me! There is no way I could ever repay you."

The husband smirked and replied, "Oh, don't worry, Honey - I get repaid tenfold every time your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek!"

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Have a happy hump-day tomorrow everyone!

Hasta la Pasta, babeee...

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