A New Reality  

nything25 39M/48F
1 posts
3/31/2005 9:13 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A New Reality

(post from 10-17-04)
Well after much ado, I did finally get out to my dinner date. Why is it that the simplest things always seem to be 50 times harder to do than the stuff I'm not supposed to be able to do? I get out of work a little late, so I missed the first bus that was available. Since I'm out here in the suburbs the buses run about every 45 minutes. I go home, drop my things off, grab a quick shower and come back out to catch the next bus. It goes flying down the street in front of me before I can get to the stop. So I call my dinner date to let her know that I'm running late but that I will be coming. So I finally get on a bus around 8:30 and I'm on my way, well not quite. We got about 2 miles into a 5 mile trip from my place to her place and the road is stopped. Some jackass was speeding down the road and, in trying to make a turn, jack knifed into a utility pole. So the bus is stuck there for a good 15 minutes. At this point I just threw my hands in the air and resigned myself to it, so long as I got there safely. I did eventually arrive, we had a great dinner, good conversation, and some fun.

This would normally make for nothing much for me to write about, except for one thing that I discovered...a new Reality, a female condom. I ran out of the condoms I brought and the condoms she has are just an exercise in pain. So she happened to remember that she had some female condoms that she'd picked up from some event. Here's the catch, she's never used them before and I've never been with someone who was using one at the time. When she pulled the thing out of the bag, we both kinda looked at it like "Whoa". First of all, it's huge. It's got a plastic/latex ring at the bottom a long tube of latex and another plastic/latex ring at the top. I'd say the dimensions of the thing were roughly large enough to fit a soda can. So far the new Reality was large and foreboding.

So we read through the instruction pamphlet and all I can think at this point is, you can't possibly remain sexy and try putting one of these in with your partner there. So the directions say to put the thing in about six inches, almost touching your pubic bone and we just started laughing. I didn't know whether I should get the tape measure of should she, unfortunately the instructions were specific about not using other sharp objects (other than fingernails and/or teeth). The new Reality is restrictive and complex.

Oh yeah, and since the thing is roughly the size of a Glad sandwich bag, you have to use about have a tube of lube with it. It is pre-lubricated, but not nearly enough. This would be the other thing we were out of. Safe sex is a complex and expensive venture. But that's nothing, to see this thing is to fall out laughing. I can only assume it was in correctly, be the top ring of it was sticking out of her lips with about an inch of tube. There's something about a plastic mouth sticking out of pussy that just makes me imagine a the guy from American Pie jerking off into a tube sock. That is EXACTLY THE IMAGE THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE because I just couldn't stop laughing. Still we decided that after all that, we had to at least give it a try. There was one good point to this, she finally understood what guys have experienced since condoms were first invented. She felt absolutely nothing of the sex. A complete 180 of our sex before. So we decided to 86 the baggie and call it a day. The new Reality was just too much for us to handle. All in all, it was a good time but damn! People we have got to come up with a better contraceptive device than lambskin, latex, and plastic. These devices are evil, mood-killing, intrusive, require too much preparation and just kill the best part of sex (the sensation).

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