Last Weekend  

nyc_2_meet_u 54M
0 posts
2/7/2006 4:06 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Last Weekend

Starting the blog. Thought it would be interesting. Just signed up with AdultFriendFinder to place a personal. My partner has been here before looking for another young lady to meet. She is a nice bi-lady but has gone quiet for a while as she sorts out a few things.

Surprise the other day…. She tells me she wants me to look for ladies to enjoy. She tells me this is a turn on for her.

We discuss briefly and I suggest what she is telling me is that it is essentially the notion of exploring an open relationship. In the end she is all for it. Very enthusiastically too. Hmmmmm --- thinking.... okay...?

We discuss it some for a few more days during Waitangi holiday and between bits of the Sevens. Lots of wine and nights of sex. She is very excited by the thought of me being with another lady. Hmmmm. This is a new one for me, as she has not mentioned this before. She tells me that, "I have given her a lot of freedom in her exploring her bisexuality" and that she now wants me to "have a go". This is interesting because I have never mentioned wanting to explore on my own and to be honest I was kind of hesitant for a number of reasons (not knowing if she had thought this out is the big one - - - can’t understate that point).

I am warming up to the idea. She is honest by nature, so I can only guess that she is for real and has given this some serious thought. I remind her that she is also free to do what she wishes and she tells me again that she is taking a break and is more interested in seeing how things turn out for me. Together we draft a letter (keeping this official) of understanding and it goes something like this.....

"We have freely agreed to conduct our marriage in an Open Relationship environment on an ongoing basis. We agree that either partner can enter into sexual relations with others under certain conditions. The conditions that guide the nature of the sexual relations have been jointly agreed upon.

The objective of this arrangement is to allow us to explore the sensual and erotic nature of the sexual-self. It is to bring back into our relationship the energy that comes from discovery to enhance our sex lives.

The Guidelines by Which We Will Conduct Our Relationships:

1. We shall endeavor to grow closer by these relationships.

2. When possible advance notice to the other partner will be provided. If an overnight situation develops we shall notify the other that we will not be home and will provide an address. If a car will be used the vehicle tag number will be txt’d to the other.

3. Safe sex at all times. A condom shall be worn when having intercourse. We will ask the person that we are having sex with if they have an STD. This is critical. Most of all we shall use common sense.

4. We shall avoid entering into romantic relationships.

5. Each partner may have the right to meet any person that the other is having a relationship with that extends beyond three meetings.

6. Either partner has the right to veto further sexual encounters with an ongoing relationship.

7. Open communications is a critical element in ensuring that we are in agreement with each other. We shall endeavor to communicate at least twice a week.

8. We understand that we have freely adopted this Open Relationship and that the Open Relationship model is not one that can be unilaterally vetoed.

9. Respect for the other is paramount.

10. We shall endeavor to share the details of our encounters with each other.

11. One of the eventual goals that we will pursue is to enter into sexual encounters that involve threesomes so that we can share the experience.

12. In order not jeopardise our jobs; we will not have sexual relations with the employees or the contractors of our employers.

13. We may not have an ongoing relationship (as defined by three or more encounters) without revealing to the that person that we are in an Open Relationship.

14. Most of all we shall not forget that we love each other and that in the end it is that love for each other that really is at the heart of this new chapter in our lives.

15. If one or more of the above guidelines is broken it will be discussed in a manner that is mature and constructive."

I reread it the next day and see that it sounded like a cross between some new age philosophy and a legally binding contract drafted by drunk lawyers… but it serves the purpose. It was in fact completed with the help of a bottle of Chardonnay and half a bottle of Pinot Noir and was put aside for a few hours of enjoyable contemplation.

The next day after some breakfast and a coffee or three we signed it. So what next....? I do some more thinking and go back to AdultFriendFinder and sign up using a quickly thought up name and draft an admittedly bad profile. etc. It is pretty much what I want at this stage though. I'll rewrite it later. The Partner, she is still highly (and I mean that) interested in this... so I take it for an honest shift in the relationship and will go with the flow.

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