OK the basics  

nightstalker172 38M
1646 posts
6/29/2006 2:06 pm

Last Read:
7/13/2006 8:07 pm

OK the basics

From my last post I said that the basic princable of that IDIOTS advice was actaully sound.

Now bare with me this may be a long post.

Forget the bullshit about being cocky (you dont say shit like "i know" when a woman compliments you) or spending limit on a date OR the 3 date limit BS...what I take from this "advice" is this.

What it teaches is to be CONFIDENT and all women will tell you that CONFIDENCE is sexy. There is a difference between confidence and assholism...what the man in the previous post was preeching was assholism...

But apparently because I dont think a man should worship the ground a woman walks on Im an asshole...I DONT think a man should worship the ground a woman walks on....WOMEN in my eyes are EQUALS not better or lower...and I detest the arrogance of either sex preeching the superiority of their sex..

Now a couple people said that a nice guy isnt a doormat well let me exsplain to you what I ment ok.....

In a MANS point of view or in our language so to speak...a "Nice guy" is definded as a man who bends over backwords to please people. Not just women but everyone. For the longest time hes been called the "nice guy" which is why the DOORMAT has been refered to as a "nice guy" It doesnt mean that ALL GOOD MEN are doormats...that is not what I was saying. Im sayign that DOORMATS get walked on all the time. Doesnt make him a bad person and he shouldnt become one to get women. What he should do is grow a backbone and realize that WOMEN are simple mortals just like he is...because like what the Idiot said in the AL post men will think themselves unworthly of a female and put her on a pedistal, unattainable, too good for him. WHY does he think this BECAUSE HE LACKS CONFIDENCE. The sooner he realizes that women are mear mortals the sooner he will be able to be confindent around them and that is the GOAL...to get a GOOD MAN...to be CONFIDENT enough to get a GOOD WOMAN...

But in order to get a woman to FEEL that way about you..you have to like I said spoon feed yourself to her...you can spill everything at once OTHERWISE there is no mystery..and women say that find mystery SEXY or did I misread that part? Im not saying you should lie your ass off just to impress her...but you do want to joke a bit to lighten the mood and keep both of you relaxed...

Now golddiggers...I dont know perhaps I seem jaded still...I hate women who use and manipulate solely because they need or want money..bad exserpeince for me so...perhaps that is a bit unfair to say...Is it ok to disclose what you do for a liveing?...if she asks sure why not...if she doesnt then dont bother...because bragging about what you do for a liveing or how much money you make isnt good either...

PrincessKarma 45F
6188 posts
6/29/2006 2:19 pm

Thank you for clarifying to other men what "nice guy" really means: DOORMAT!

*THWAP!!!* You never copmment on my blog any more!

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

cuteNEway 42F

6/29/2006 2:26 pm

See decent guys don't generally flock to me. Usually its guys that have "never been with a big girl"
"never been with a spanish girl"
"never seen tits that big"
These guys try to get me to go with them as a novelty. THAT is painful. Doormat my ass!

nightstalker172 38M
1258 posts
6/29/2006 3:07 pm

PK - You know what...why dont you go to google and type "the definition of a nice guy" and then read a few websites..then come back and read what I wrote...THEN perhaps you will understand what I ment because IM tired of exsplaining myself and then getting my words twisted....Im speaking from soceities point of view but no one seems to GET THAT...

Cute - decent guys dont flock to you? or you dont flock to decent guys? Every person out there has had a bad exseprience with the opposite sex some more than others...Im sorry you were treated that way its not right....but if anything its a learning exserpeince that will hopefully help you choose better in the future...and I know all to well how heavier people are TREATED out there in the world..and I say fuck em...

nightstalker172 38M
1258 posts
6/29/2006 3:19 pm

ohbaby - ok spoon-feeding Im not saying you should be dishonest...but dumping everything on a woman at once on a first date can freak her out am I wrong? that is what I ment...some ladies like the mystery some dont...it can also make you come off as weak and needy...which is unattractive...but its not really hiding something it more of waiting until the moment is right to mention it...makeing sure you both are comfortable with eachother and such...does that exsplain it alittle better...and thank you for getting what I said...

PrincessKarma 45F
6188 posts
6/29/2006 9:09 pm

I don't want a "nice guy", nights, I want (and have found - thankyougod/dess!) a good man. BIG difference.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

nightstalker172 38M
1258 posts
6/29/2006 10:15 pm

PK - perhaps I misunderstood your first comment...sorry....

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
6/29/2006 10:56 pm

There is a difference between a nice guy and a doormat. Doormats tend to be self serving assholes, who think if they bend over backwards, people will like them. No, people will just use you and your generous nature. Nice guys are nice. They also have personalities. Doormats don't tend to have much in the personality department.

Yes, a doormat can be a nice guy in training, however, chances are he's going to turn out to be bitter as fuck instead, while screaming what a nice guy he is. Bitter does not equal nice.

Nice guys do NOT advertise it. I can name some actual nice guys on here who do NOT advertise it and if you read their profiles or blogs, you would never guess it. I won't ruin their reputations by naming names. But they know who they are. You know what? They don't even consider themselves nice guys. They consider themselves normal human beings.

Now let's talk money. If you see a 25 year old with a 50 year old man, all she wants is his wallet. Unless of course, she has a few daddy issues left over from childhood. Men are willing to give her their wallets, as she looks good on their arms and their egos are being boosted. No real golddigger is going to look at guys in their 20s, unless they're rich and famous. If you're not established, she can't bilk you for what you're worth.

Men who use their wallets to get dates, or for women to look at them? It's the only way they can get any woman to look at them. They have no redeeming social qualities whatsoever. They are nothing but what they own. They don't get there is more to life than possessions and even their women are possessions.

Men have become way too paranoid about women and our intentions.

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
6/29/2006 10:58 pm

Oh yeah. I almost forgot. A woman wrote a response to this guy and really nailed down some of the nice guy issues in Why 'nice guys' are a turn off. Response to 103. A lot of what she says is true.

nightstalker172 38M
1258 posts
6/30/2006 12:27 am

missann - so wait...she said that nice guys are what? DOORMATS..ok wait didnt I say that...I mean the gist of what she said was pretty much what I was getting at...Ok so basically a DOORMAT is a manipulator who is trying to manipulate a woman by being overly nice to her...and she herself said that useing a DOORMAT is fine WTF is that...useing someone is not FINE period...Ok for example if I am "nice" to a woman that Im interested in its because I want to be not because I have to be or Im trying to get something out of it other than perhaps her seeing me as a good person..NOT by SAYING IT but by showing it...and then when I get treated badly its my own fault because I let it happen....because I was "NICE" I think missann that men are no more paraniod about women then women are about men....and that is the true problem...I will not disagree and say that some men DO kiss ass to get a peace of ass...Im not saying that doesnt happen...but the way you are makeing it sound is that women are never to blaim...its always the mans fault...that doesnt seem fair to me...if all things are supposed to be EQUAL! She even said that she wanted a guy with an edge...doormat dont have that...basically a doormat or "nice guy" is too nice and boring for a woman to be attracted to...Now if thats who they are then who is a woman to expect them to CHANGE...its that whole never ending circle all over again...a doormat is nice and respectful because he's told BY WOMEN that is what they desire...and then the assholes like the OC GUY are the ones that get AWAY with hurting and emotional scaring women at a young age and makeing them bitter and hateful later on and they end up doing the same thing to another guy...who was just trying to be her friend and perhaps lover later on...its refuels that cycle of paranioa....and of course the man will end up becoming like the OC GUY and repeating that god damn cylce again..the end resualt a bunch of unstable relationshipaphobic people who have a disdain for the opposite sex...

To put it in shorter terms everyone is pretty much fucked no matter what you do....

confirmation number is 665 almost evil but not quite

8337 posts
7/13/2006 11:40 am


Bro......you're overthinking here.

It's not a hard concept, really.

What Ann said was correct.

There is a fine line between being a "niceguy" and being a "doormat", just as there is a difference between being "confident" and being "arrogant".


Being a nice guy is an inherent personality trait and there is no agenda or motive. It just is. It may serve him well when it comes to the women he attracts, but there is no false sincerity in what he does.

Doormats tend to have personality defects or a specific agenda to follow which corresponds with the women they attract. They tend to attract the women who feel sorry for them or the complete opposite, who revel in taking advantage of them.

I think, at times, you really tend to overanalyze things that are not that hard to see.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

Become a member to create a blog