Fundementals of Attraction  

nightstalker172 38M
1646 posts
3/8/2006 5:02 am

Last Read:
3/10/2006 3:23 am

Fundementals of Attraction

I have sat here and gone over the advice lines a countless number of times. Almost 90% of the questions I see out there have something to do with a person's self image. Here are some great lines that I see


2. Does Breast size matter (not as often asked as penis size questions but still overdone)

3. Some related to BBW or being fat in general (I have been guilty of this myself so I have nothing to say )

4. Shaveing questions etc (The majority of people like a trimmed person PERIOD OK not bald or hairless but just groomed OK. now STFU)

I have answered alot of these questions with my opinion on the matter from what I personaly like. Often saying the same things or makeing a sarcastic comments (especialy to the penis size guys) I have also sat here and preached my disdain for vanity in people. Yet does that make me a hypocrit for "haveing preferences" Or for that matter ANYONE who preaches that looks do not matter that personality is what counts. Or there is "someone" for everyone. You know the standard comforting lines that you read when someone asks a question like this. I saw this commercial for some model show and one of the male models said something along the lines of "If your beautiful, people will put you on a pedestal, why not take advantage of that and make money" Extremely self-centered but completely true.

I have often wondered what it is that makes a woman attractive to me. I can rarely ever exsplain it even to myself. Is it just something that your gut tells you? Is it the outside influence from TV, Magazines, Friends, Family? How is someone else supposed to know what you like and want?

But no matter how you look at it. If you dont pass the physical part of attraction then it is a uphill battle to get someones attention perhaps even a battle you cant win. Which comes the exspression "They are out of your league"
Which to me means that a person is too good for you. What makes them too good for me? Is it the fact that they are rich? Or perhaps they are a very generious and kind person and you are not? Or is it saying that you are too ugly to be with someone that attractive? All of them perhaps?

Lets take alook at my own personal "preferences" that I find attractive or that are common with women I have dated.

Dark hair is the most common feature among the ladies Im attracted to and have been with. I have dated a couple blondes. I found them to be attractive but Ive always tended towards dark haired ladies dont know why.

Next would be face features. I tend to like a woman who has sharp features on her face but not too sharp. brown or blue eyes is most common for me. and typically there is always one slight flaw that I find seals the deal so to speak. It could be as small as a beauty mark or a faded scar. Or it can be something off the wall like a slight overbite or something along those lines

Body type I often go for small framed women. Small breasts small butt small everything...not boney but tiny. I admit I do sort of like the fact that I can "manhandle" women of this size (I dont mean that in a bad way).

But what I dont understand is WHY!? Why do we have this obsession with physical appearance? Does me haveing a "preference" make me shallow? What exactly is the difference between Preference and shallow? I admit that I cant find myself being with someone who doesnt at least come close to what I like. I have turned down women who might of been good people but that superficial desire to have what I want and not settle for less. I have also turned a few heads....AWAY that is I know that Im no male model and I dont pretend to be. I often wonder why an moderately attractive female would find me attractive at all. Which I typically meet with distrust unless Im getting laid...then I dont ask questions

Why is it that when you are attracted to someone you will often over look those flaws? What is it that makes you do such a thing? I would gladly name my physical flaw but...I think you can see all of it anyway so My point is this I am the same person reguardless. But writing Football Groupies made me think. Why is it that women were attracted to me all of a sudden Or at least more so that usual which never really happend to me before because I said Im no looker. Then turned on a dime and wanted nothing to do with me. What is it that makes people do that? Especailly women? Is it that they see potenial in a football player to perhaps become a pro-player and they see it as future chu ching $$? What is it about the damn game that makes the men who play it so damn popular. Is it that basic instinct in women to want a physically strong man? Those same women who later in life realize that the real power is in the mental prowess of a person...hence why they change their mind and go for the geeks...who are now of course very wealthy. But what are they really chasing a man? or the wealth he has the potenial to produce? The social class or status perhaps?

So basically in order to get a mate. A woman has to be physically attractive and nothing more. The man has to be the one who does all the work. Getting to where hes at and makeing himself successful in order to GET that beautiful woman. Of course his looks do not matter because while hes off makeing money shes off fucking the good looking pool boy to get her cake and eat it too...granted there is a price...she would have to sleep with the poor ugly bastard at least once to seal the deal you know...unless its one of those wait till marriage situations and then she offs him on the wedding night . (one more reason to screw waiting until your married )

SO...Why are we attracted to the people we are attracted to? Is it a chemical response or is it brainwashed into our minds as to what we should and should not find attractive.

The pic is of the women that I first ever seen naked on TV of course. Mathilda May She played in Life Force. Now if you look at her and then think about what I like in a woman physicaly could that have been imprinted on me at that early age? Could that be how all of us are? We often realize what our ideal mate would look like before we are even sexual beings? Who really knows right. These are but ramblings of an insane mind wouldnt you say

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
3/9/2006 4:06 am

Heh. You hit the major reasons I rarely hit the advice lines anymore. Yes, penis size matters... To the owner of the penis. Yes breast size matters... If you're working as a stripper and want better tips. Yes some of us are fat, deal with it. If the amount of pubic hair someone has matters to you, you're watching too much porn. If you can't handle a man or woman with hair down there, you're so not a real man or woman. UGH! Those questions always drove me fucking batty.

OK, the laws of attraction. Who the hell knows? I have been accused of not having a type at all. Well, not a physical type, anyway. I do have a mental type and that's what attracts me first. I've never been attracted to the bad boy type, when I was younger, I was attracted to the artistic type, as I got older, that changed to the software geek types. Well, I guess there's something artistic about designing software. But the men I have dated for more than a few months have all been artists or geeks.

While I may work as a Domme, I've never actually found submissives attractive sexually. Who the hell wants to be in charge all the time? I find myself attracted to vanilla men, or men who are Dom, but that becomes a major power struggle. Then again, there's something hot about a power struggle. But of course, something like that also tends to be volitile after a while and isn't going to last. No, I'm not about to allow myself to be hit in any way, shape or form. It doesn't turn me on, it hurts and I'm a pussy when it comes to pain. Hit me in even a playful way and I'm bound to snap and try to do you some real damage. Don't ask me why. I didn't grow up in a household where my father hit me, my sister or my mother. We were spanked a few times as children and couldn't sit for hours after, but that's pretty much every kid from my era. But I just snap. I can't deal with violence towards women, even in staged scenes.

Now, I can introduce you to very good looking men who do nothing for me. Yes, they're good looking, but something about them isn't my type. Women will fall all over themselves to get to them and I'll be saying, nice eye candy, but nothing more. Don't ask, I don't know. I really do think that's where chemical attraction comes in.

But as far as the football thing, well, duh. For some reason, the football players are the prime pigs in high school. I could never get into the jocks. They were paying people to do their homework while they went out to force themselves on girls and get drunk. hmmm... typical bad boys. Yep. Bad boy syndrome raises its ugly head.

Now, I take exception to the fact all a woman has to do is be attractive to attract a mate. I can introduce you to gorgeous women who can't find someone who doesn't cheat on them, doesn't think he can do better if he scored someone that good, who doesn't have any interest in them as anything but fucks that look good. It's just as hard for women as it is for men. At least, if those women want any substance in a man, that is.

nightstalker172 38M
1258 posts
3/9/2006 6:11 am

Missann - I argee with you there about the advice lines. It had gotten old for me and I prefer the blogs. I sometimes go in there just to see if perhaps there can be some useful information to soak up but a typical day there isnt. pitty...

Ok a mental type...this is curious to me. What is it that goes on in your mind to determine if a man is the mental type you seek? Soley based on his physical appearance. What is it that would set those trigger off in you to find someone attractive? I mean at first glance no getting to talk to him. Just someone you see across the room and you get to lock eyes thats it. What is it that causes that spark...granted of course after talking to him you may be less attracted but thats not the issue..

Now as far as the dom/sub relationship. I admit I would be more inclined to be Dom but I do like to be sub now and then too. but with me I like either type of woman. The girl with attitude who takes crap from no one has attracted me. Also the girl whos quite and would hide behind a rock if she could rather than talk to someone. Both qualities I find I guess in the Dom/sub world Im a switch hitter ....But Im with you on the pain front...I dont think I would ever be able to hit a woman like some of them do. I would be too affraid of perminant damage. But as far as them beating me. Well pain doesnt bother me but it doesnt arouse me either at least not sexually...

I never liked the blonde bombshell type either. They often have no substance other than eing full of themselves which annoys me to no end.

Yea football players are known for that. I went out and partied with the team. I was always rather a loner...dont get me wrong I like parties and free booze just not with them..or their type..

now as far as men working harder than women. Men working harder building a career to attract women then women do to attract men is what I ment. Keeping that mate is of course hard reguardless of your gender.

themisskrissy 57F
2302 posts
3/9/2006 9:46 pm

why does the peacock strut? why do the big horn sheep bash thier heads together? why do humans primp and preen? because there HAS to be some level of attraction.. it is the way nature made us poor beasts.. whether it is the showiest plume, or the strongest of the herd.. it is the way it is...
i don't beleive there is someone for everyone... i think that some people are destined to go thru life alone...

i am not generally attracted to blond men.. i like the tall dark and handsome types... 'cept i am not overly fond of dark brown eyes.. i like broad shoulders.. and a reasonably trim belly... the big thing for me is hair... i love a maturing man that has all his hair!! i get whiplash when i see a full head of silver/white hair on a middle aged dude.. and when the hell did i become middle aged???

my R is not my "ideal" ...he is quite small in the chest, and no chest hair... but he is very bright!! a good lover and person.. very attentive and thoughtful... for those reasons, i do not feel the need to order him up a bowflex... i can adjust!!! i am past reproducing anyhow.. so the plummage is (almost) wasted on me...

so i guess you don't want to see my still healing new scars

i babbled enuf..nice to see ya!

Virtue Alone Ennobles

Become a member to create a blog