Women on Dating Site..... Differences  

nightman448 48M
113 posts
5/22/2006 11:53 am

Last Read:
12/30/2011 8:33 pm

Women on Dating Site..... Differences


I'm the kind of guy that likes to skip from one single's site to the other, you know just to see what's out there. Of course, there are the ones where people get really into the sex stuff and alternative lifestyles. They get pretty much as nasty as they can get.. at least on paper. Who knows what they are like in a real situation. Of course, I wouldn't know because I never have and may never meet anyone from such a site. I mean it would be kind of nice to meet a woman who could show me a good time, but the chances get slimmer each day. None of these so-called horny women really want to talk to me. And I am guessing either because I am a troll or that they have tons of guys all trying to get at them and by the time i try, they are repulsed and resort to lesbianism or something.

Then we go to the other extreme. The Chritian dating site. Over the weekend, I decided to go check an old email account just to see if there was any intersting mail collecting dust. In doing that, I found I had some messages from a Christian site that I had signed up for a long time ago. Of course any messages I had on there had been erased by the system, so i missed those. I decided I would get that account going again just to see what's happening in "nice land". Within minutes of recharging on there, i was getting instant messages from these Christian women.... some of whom are actually attractive. I am thinking to myself, "this must be where all the desperate women are that have been hiding".

So I have been chatting with a few of these women, and I wonder just what they are thinking when they chat with me??? Are they really looking for a nice, clean-cut Christian guy, or are they secretly looking for a guy to fulfill their fantasies?? I wonder if these are the real so called horny women, but they just don't want to show it? Are they touching themselves while chatting with me??? I wonder if any of these women also visit the dirtier websites as well like I do. Of course that is something i will not ask them. They might start getting all preachy with me and start helping me book my trip to hell. I just thought it is a little amusing that women on the Christian sites race to talk to guys much like the men race to talk to the naughty girls on the other sites. I guess maybe they feel safer there. If I could just find a happy medium between the two.... nice, but with a little naughty edge to them,I might be happy...I do like to keep things on the edge a little, because I don't want to end up with someone who is not going to totally satisfy me both spiritually and physically.

lickablestar 42F
10 posts
5/22/2006 12:43 pm

Hey Nightman--being a bisexual woman-I will "try" to put things in perspective--
1st--although there is NOTHING wrong with your pic on here-nice-but, not all woman get on these sites to look at cock. Personally, when guys try to beep me-and there's a cock shot-I get turned off, only because "some" men need to relize that works for some but, not all.
2nd-Explain what you are looking for and expect-in your profiles-not matter what kind of site you are on--good Christian women get horney like us bad bad girls--lol--and if you get a woman turned on good--yeah she will play with herself why trying to chat with ya (web cams and handless mic come in handy).
3rd-Do Not let these sites stress you out-sometimes it takes a few weeks of chatting before anyone wants to meet-then some are scared-right now there is a girl missin cuze she meet someone on another site.-Have fun with it-you'll find someone interest in the same. I have faith in ya-Happy Hunting--naughty thoughts!!


rm_SergeantSam 48M

5/22/2006 1:17 pm

Hey guy,

I was browsing the blogs and came across yours. I've only been on here for a few days, but having spent a little bit of time in the chats and looking at profiles, it occurs to me there are certain things that generate more success than others.

Please, if I get anything wrong about you below, take it with a grain of salt because I don't know the real you.

Now, women could address the issues you raise in your blog much better than I, but after reading the posts one thing really sticks out - despair/hopelessness/negativity. I don't mean to be a hater and this is meant to call your attention to what looks like could be hurting your efforts to get hooked up. I want to help if I can - seriously.

Every entry you have is distinctly apprehensive, doubtful, or outright negative. This, I learned long ago is a huge turn-off for many women. Now, you don't have to be the classic Alpha Male, or have the bravado or self-assured confidence portrayed by actors like Brad Pitt, Burt Reynolds, or Tom Cruise but you can certainly come off as comfortable with yourself. How to do this?

You're interested in something and/or good at it (or something else). Everybody is. Write about that here in your blog. Or write about the news, or politics, or whatever it is that catches your fancy. If you have fantasies, write them out in detail. Get the interesting part of you out into the world where people can see it. No matter what road you take, be it humor, commentary, how-to guides, or stories it will a) be a change of pace for you, and b) get someone more interested in who you are.

I've only been in the chats a few times. They can be clique-ish, with several folks knowing several others and generally ignoring those not in the clique. Even this can be overcome! First, before you even introduce yourself, check out a couple of the profiles to see if what they're looking for describes you in any way, or if there is a topic of conversation in the offing. Once you have some ideas, check out the current topics of conversation. You can get involved in that by addressing specific people in the room, or LOLing at their jokes. Whatever you do, just break the ice dude.

In the Maryland room their seems to be some regulars, and I'm sure it's the same where you are. Start talking to them. Ask a question like, "Any advice for a newbie guy on here?" or something like that. Engage in conversation. That, my friend, is still the only way to generate interest short of having a body like one of the aforementioned actors. In other words, don't become one of the thousands that pop in and say "34/M/City, State here looking for a good time tonight." No shit. So is every other swingin' dick in here! Set yourself apart by actually having a conversation.

Stop wondering what their thinking and ask them! "What do you think about x?" or "I'm interested in why you say x, because I've always thought x." Challenge them!

Watch the movie "Hitch" if you haven't already. There's a great line right at the beginning of the movie. The main character is describing to his clients what not to do, like staring at their date's mouth, or wondering what they look like naked, and then says what to do: "Listen to what they are saying, and respond." In other words, stop wondering about whether these women are touching themselves or loose even on the Christian website, and just talk to them.

We're all looking for sex, happiness, and so on. It's hard enough without putting up roadblocks for ourselves. Take yours down. It might help.

The Sarge


rm_SergeantSam 48M

5/22/2006 1:20 pm

By the way, I'm 36. You're never too old to get laid.


rm_SergeantSam 48M

5/22/2006 1:40 pm

Wait, I wanted to highlight a couple things from the first & second paragraphs of your post here that struck me right off the bat as negative:

"...it would be kind of nice to meet a woman who could show me a good time, but the chances get slimmer each day."

My comment: The chances are NOT getting slimmer by the day. They get better by the day, provided you try to make a positive impression and don't have unrealistic expectations.

"None of these so-called horny women really want to talk to me."

My comment: You've already decided you don't want to get laid, get a girlfiend, and so on. You are wrong, my friend! Approach dating this way and you are guaranteed failure. Sure, there are probably some who prefer men with other characteristics (or women), but that doesn't mean you're worthless or can't give them something different and pique their interest.

"...I am guessing either because I am a troll or that they have tons of guys all trying to get at them and by the time i try, they are repulsed and resort to lesbianism or something."

My comment: I don't know if you're trying to be funny, but it didn't come across that way. The key to generating interest is by setting yourself apart from all those "tons of guys" you mention. It may not result in your getting laid immediately, but it will certainly get someone's attention.

And last but not least...

"I am thinking to myself, "this must be where all the desperate women are that have been hiding"."

My comment: So a woman who talks to you must be "desperate?" That is not an attitude that will endear you to many women. If you aren't comfortable with yourself, that will become crystal clear within a pretty short time, and as I mentioned it's a turn-off.

Also, if you have it in your mind that a woman is "desperate," you've also de-valued her and her judgment. She must be stupid, dense, needy, whatever. That's what desperate says. If you de-value her, she will sense it and again, that's a major turn-off.

All of this can be turned around if you adopt a more positive outlook. It can be really hard, I know. I've been there. But I mean it when I say it doesn't have to be that way.

Remember those stupid motivational posters with little slogans on the bottom and some picture of a waterfall or hang gliding or other exciting, relaxing, or otherwise cool pictures with people doing fun stuff? Well, I remember one in particular, and though it may be somewhat artificial and trite it was pretty much true. It said, "Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude." I personally believe it does, to an extent. Every little bit helps!


rm_SergeantSam 48M

5/23/2006 10:18 am

Nightman, I certainly didn't mean to make you out to be a bad guy (or feel that way), and you don't need to say sorry. In fact, I was hoping just to point to the way you were coming across here in the blog. If it hurt you, then it's me who owes you an apology!

Oftentimes when I write I'll get caught up in the words right in front of me and fail to consider how my audience might react. That was primarily what I was trying to point out by highlighting certain phrases in your post. It wasn't a dissection with the intent of humiliating or making you look a certain way. It had the intent of pointing out the way your blog comes across. Well, at least to one of your visitors.

Like I said in one of the three entries, "Please, if I get anything wrong about you below, take it with a grain of salt because I don't know the real you."

I don't know if you read this, but there's really good advice for us guys here on AdultFriendFinder that I just found yesterday: Men of AFF dial 911


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