nightis 54M
247 posts
8/23/2006 8:52 am

Last Read:
8/23/2006 8:43 pm


OK, so I have been in a little bit of a funk lately, but a couple of friends gave me some great ideas for a couple of posts. One of which deserves its own title so it will come later today!

The first idea came from ShayeDK in her "The People we Call Friends" post of last night. She discussed among other things the difficulty of having or lack of "friends". "Eyes" and I had a similar conversation in the last week or two of our relationship. We talked about how both of us really had no friends, but as I think about it, we are so rich with the people that are around us!

Bare with me...this is going to be a long post!

My two best friends were made in high school. We still keep in contact from time to time. One was my best man, I was his, the godfather to my boys but we haven't seen each other in the better part of two years. My move to Washington should have helped as he only lives and hour and some change away in Maple Valley. Time and our socio-economic status has changed us. He and his wife are classic generation x'ers with a combined income of close to 200K a year. They are forever talking about their latest trip overseas. They have no kids. Even when I was still married, my wife and I struggled finding things in common with them. We worked in remote places while their friends loaned them their boat for the weekend. Sure, being a ranger was colorful conversation for a little while, but it didn't add up to an ounce of respect in that crowd.

My other friend is a Fire Chief in the Tri-Cities. Great guy, terrible communicator! I write, I call, I email... no response. I even try to communicate via other emergency service brethren I have come to know here in Washington. Rumors, here say and 4th hand stories are all I get. Not much to base a friendship on. In his defense, his wife has been awfully unhealthy.

Outside of these two guys, I have never had many male friends. I blame that on my lack of vices.

I don't like beer.
I don't hunt.
I have respect for women.

I know, sounds way too judgmental for a guy like me!

Strangely enough, I have chosen to only live in rural places where these can be overriding requirements for friendships, genuine or not. What is worse, I work in law enforcement in rural areas and that has a funny habit of preventing you from a lot of mailing lists!

In fact through the years, women, have always been my best friends.

Perhaps it is like the elk. You know that during the rutting season, the guys always split and become fierce rivals after being friends all spring and summer because suddenly they are in competition with each other. Ya, maybe that is it. I am engaged in a life-long rut!

The one guy who is truly the quality and caliber of a good friend is my brother. There was a time when I thought the guy was gonna die at eighteen for so many reasons. He met the right woman, straightened out his life and took a similar path to myself. I have four brothers (the rest of them all a little screwball), but he is the only one with a marriage and kids and ya, I have watched the way he is and respect him. I often thought that if we ever had time to sit and talk, we mind find a lot in common.


When I am in Eugene, we may get 10 or 20 minutes for small talk, not much to base an intimate, brotherly friendship on. Oh ya, he is much like friend number two in Tri-Cities. Not much of a communicator!

So then you ask, what about work?

I work in a highly mobile, seasonal career. Most of the people come and go. They are in between college and careers and for the most part depend on my blessing for the next step in their lives. That is pretty heavy stuff. Bonds have been made there, but sometimes, good friends have to remember some of the same presidents!

Finally you ask, what about your work in emergency services?

It is true, whether you are in law enforcement, fire or EMS, it is a close group! The problem is that I have to be in all of them (to a lessor extent fire) in my role and I work in remote places without a partner or in close proximity to others. I pass patients off to the EMS folks in Cowlitz County, am grateful to the guys from the Washington State Patrol and make an occasional call to the Law Enforcement wing of Washington State Fish & Wildlife.

If any of them are hurt or killed in the line of duty, I will be there!

I know that with this post, I have just separated my casual blog friends from my close blog friends! The latter will have read the whole thing....

Have a great day and thanks for reading!

lustcurious42 57F

8/23/2006 6:54 pm

I read to the end
I find I expect alot from true friends. Undying loyalty, to never talk behind my back, to have kindness in their souls, to be good people. And such a difference between lifes acquaintances and good friends.
As in marriages, sometimes we grow apart and friendships change or grow apart. A.F.F. has provided me some true friends, where I am free to be myself. I find I tend to not have normal people as friends (hey, I'm really sorry guys) but I like people who are somewhat unique in some way or another. Those that are non-judgemental. Reach out and have friends. It's good to have people to share our journey with.

Become a member to create a blog