Every day a new experience...  

niceneasy200541 53F
100 posts
3/18/2006 7:54 pm
Every day a new experience...

I suppose I realized something...
Unless I am content with who I am, I cannot expect anyone to be content with me.

I knew this, I've always known this, but what I didn't realize is that until I am who I am meant to be, I will never be content.

All the searching in the world will never achieve my satisfaction.

Nothing outside of me is what I seek...

I seek acceptance, none to be found.
I seek unconditional, yet I know uncondition.
I seek love, yet I've know the ultimate and nothing will ever compare.
I seek peace, yet I am peace.

May I learn more, experience more, touch more and move on...

avoiceinthenight 77M

4/3/2006 6:56 pm

Hi Nice N Easy,
I'm sorry you feel so much pain. You express your feelings well. That is a small step toward your healing. There is acceptance, don't give up. You just haven't looked in the right place yet. Places matter.
I don't know you or you situation. Yet I can tell by you way you express your pain that something awful happened to you as a child. I'm sorry that someone hurt. There's no excuse for that. They carry on something that was done to them, so the cycle contintues.
There is hope, though. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You can't give up hope. It's not easy, the work is hard, but there is hope.
I was married 33 years to a wonderful, beautiful, troubled woman. She died in 1999 of brain cancer. After her death her counselor, who she only saw once, told me that she had confided in him that her father had abused her for several years. I never knew it. I knew something was wrong, but she would never say anything. Even when I walked in on her crying, all she would say was, "It's not about you." I got so tired of hearing her say that. I thought there was another man, but she said it wasn't that. So I have the past 7 years reading and studying about all that. I'm even writing a book that contains a section on sexual sins. (see my blog for today). I loved her with all of my heart to the very end. I helf hand and gave her permission to die. Hardest thing i've ever done.

I may have it all wrong. If I do, I apolgize. I care so much that sometimes I screw up.

God bless. God is the key to your complete healing. He is the only One who can renew (rewire) your mind.

Take care, hold your head up and smile, even when your heart is breaking.

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