Liv and Let live, Liv.......  

newfornow22 34F
270 posts
2/9/2006 7:55 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Liv and Let live, Liv.......

I am adding an extra post today because I find that it is somewhat relaxing and healing to a degree. And your responses have been so helpful and uplifting.
Lydia called me tonight and was very very drunk.
I have loved this girl for 8 years solid, not for a moment in the whole time did I stop loving her.
At times I have wanted to strangle the head games bull shit right out of her, or shake her by the shoulders to get her to listen to me, but I love her terribly.
I always know when she is drunk the second she calls and she is not one to try and conceal it or to have any control when having had enough to drink.
She said she's leaving for Minnesota, and she wants me to be there at the airport to see her and Ben off.
I concider this to be nearly impossible for me to do. I feel this is a selfish thing for her to ask because she know's I will do it how ever hard it is for me.
I am caught between what is right, what is loving and supportive and decent, and what is selfish and egocentric and selfish on my part.
Should I be the bigger person and stand there and kiss her cheek wave at her before she boards the plane with a man that will never make her happy? Or should I tell her, count me out, I'm not going to be there?
I want her happy, she isn't mine. She doesn't belong to me, she is her own person, she has to do what she has to do to take care of herself and what she needs. I understand this, I feel for her, I love her regardless. Forever, but I am very hurt that she would leave this thing we have been building for years, with out hesitation, with out thinking of what it would mean to me and her and the "us" we have.
Give me a clue.... throw me a bone.... i need a clear solution. Any idea's?
Like my mom always said "Live and let live, Liv"
And maybe I should. Maybe I should back away, and continue to do my own thing with out saying a word with out feeling this personally.
Feed back please


2/10/2006 7:52 am

Go to the airport. It's closure for you and shows that you retain the power.

Guy1378Fox 47M

2/10/2006 9:22 am

If you do not go to the airport will you end up wishing you had? Sometimes you just have to do what is right for you.
I remember when my grandmother died, there were some members of my family were mad at me because I did not go into the hospital room to see her off. I just could not stand the thought of seeing her like that I did not want to remember her that way. I wanted to ember her the way she had been before, energetic and happy. I think they may have accepted it after I explained why...
Sometimes, We need to remember the way things were, but the way they end is too painful. From a purely logical standpoint I would say go to the airport. However, this is not a logical thing. You obviously still have strong feelings for her. Listen to your heart. That is where you will find the answer, whether it is the answer you are looking for or not…

gussax 52M

2/11/2006 8:20 am

I concur with the other poster, that you should go to the airport. Although you are hurt, and don't like the situation of being apart from Lydia, deep down you know you should be there for her. Even if you never see her again, she will always be in your heart for the rest of your life. Cherish every moment you can share with Lydia, even if it is just a few last minutes.

rm_spydr1222 58M

2/11/2006 11:21 am

i now what you are going thru been there and done it.go and say good bye because you never now when she will call and ask for help.
i did this the last time i did some thing like this,i did go and say good bye but i took some one she didn't know and pretended to be a couple,but my friend went with me to make sure i had the courage and strenth to show her i am a strong person,sound fakey but it did help me out alot.

shaven53 66M

2/12/2006 7:10 pm

"Parting is such sweet sorrow"

I know there is nothing sweet about Lydia leaving and I know from your blogs that your hurt is deep, but if I were in that situation I hope I would (I hope I COULD) have enough internal fortitude to go and let her know that no matter what I loved her.

Just the thoughts of an old sentimental fool...

na_na2you 56F

2/13/2006 8:27 pm

Please tell us what you did.

If it were me, I'd go and wish her off. Your post reminded me of the scene in Casablanca between Boogie and Ingrid.... sending her off with a kiss is the noble thing to do, it also lets her know that she can come back to you is things don't work out.

also, the post by mutual is just plain assholish..... what a jerk

firebirdphotog 62M

3/17/2006 11:26 am

Here's hoping you went to the airport!

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