Is it better 2 luv & lose or never love at all?  

newfornow22 34F
270 posts
2/1/2006 8:47 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Is it better 2 luv & lose or never love at all?

Well, been feeling more and more shitty about this whole thing. So many of you have been supportive and it's nice that you care when you don't have to.
Lydia continues to be elusive, and when we talk there is a strain that was never been there before and I find myself thinking "Who are you?" because I might be confused and clueless, but I know one defining thing, she isn't who i used to know.I have been pressing for some talking time and have promised her that there will be no harsh words from me. I don't hate her or judge her. She has to do what she has to do, just like every one else. It will all will work out in the end.
Meanwhile, my brother has been pretty sick and my mind has been very much assaulted in the last few days especially with the knowledge of the very real possibility of him dying before he turns 25.
It has failed to be real to me until just recently. It is strange how the mind blocks so many things out of necessity. Defense mechanism to maintain sanity.
But, I am professional, I do this for a living. I have training to do what I need to and the compassion no hired person would have because this 120 lb sick kid is practically my twin.
It seems like every one I know is kind of a mess right now, maybe the moons are all fucked up, not sure. But I know it sucks and i wish it would change for the better not just for me but for every one else too.
I always think along the positive lines and see the glass as half full. Things have got to get better some time.
It might be an adventure to go again on the prowl for another girlfriend, and you all know there is nothing like what is unknown.
Talk atcha later

dandy6912000 61M/60F
3383 posts
2/3/2006 11:26 am

Well, I just thought I would say I hope you guys works out some of your differents, sounds like you two have been good freinds and shared many things together. You keep your postive mind set , and your honesty will keep you going. Good luck Dandy6912000

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