Drama, sex, lies and other fun events of this weekend  

newfornow22 34F
270 posts
1/30/2006 6:15 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Drama, sex, lies and other fun events of this weekend

Well, the goddess of bad luck and mis fortune has struck again. This time it's personal.
This weekend a possible "fun" time presented its self and, never to be one to ignore opportunity, I went for it. Lydia and I were going to have some company and hopefully get some.
Lydia and I had talked before hand and then talked after I picked her up from her place. She seemed a little preocupied but otherwise into it and looking forward to the evening.
Then 20 minutes before company showed up she broke down and told me what was bugging her.
A guy friend/old boyfriend had asked her to marry him and move to Minnesota with him.
Naturally I laughed at first, because this guy has been in love with her for years and she had always eventually dismissed him.
Then she tells me that she had been seeing him recently, and had been intimate with him, had even made him think that the two of us were not together and also that there was a chance for him to have a relationship with her. She then told me that she was honestly concidering doing it because of the reasons that she wanted to have a baby before she was too old and that by marrying a guy she would be fullfilling what her family would want. She felt that maybe she could be normal then, and happy.
I sort of flipped out, and I asked her what she planned to do about me and her, she said that she would mnove there and maintain a "friendly relationship" with me. She begged me to understand, asked me for my support, told me she valued our relatinship and sat down to cry.
I told her I wasnt mad about her sleeping with him, wasn't mad for her misleading him, understood where her reasoning was and told her of course I would always love her and be there for her what ever she chose.
But, that she never needed to lie to me, and that I was hurt that our 8 years were so easilly discarded and dismissed.
Right about then, company showed up, and needless to say, things were a little weird.
I got her in the barthroom and asked her what she felt about sleeping with another guy when she might be marrying this guy over here.
She said she thought she might be able to do it and admitted she wanted to. I said I wished she would have told me before plans were made.
She flirted all night, let things go just so far, and then backed out, more than once.
The guy, to say the least was confused, hurt and a little creeped out. Lydia was unstable most of the night, and because I didnt know how to explain what she was doing, I just kept my mouth shut.
Now, the guy doesnt know if he wants to do anything with just me or what, and Lydia went home and hasnt talked to me, and I am just really annoyed and confused.
Crap well I hope your weekend was better than mine.

rm_bigblockgts 49M

1/30/2006 11:30 pm

well that must have been extremely awkward for you. you both sound very close, and for her to not be open with you must have hurt. and then to have your new friend coming over right then and there. maybe you should have canceled till another time.you are bothso young and for her to say if she got married it would be fullfilling want her family would want ... wow thats not going to make her happy in the long run at all.yes it is great to have children, but she needs to make sure thats what she really wants . she has plenty of time to have children. maybe this person can make her happy, i wish you all alot of luck take care bye chris

newfornow22 34F

1/31/2006 5:17 pm

Thanks for your thoughtful comment left on our blog.
Had I known she was going to tell me what she did I never would have had any one over. It was a hasty and reakless mover on her part, she could have told me earlier inthe night and not acted so down for it.
She didn't give me an idea, but I had been feeling her pulling away for about a month. She seemed to be working alot, and somwhat avoiding me. It was her idea too get on this site. We had the same expectations and preferences and reasons. This guy was what we were lookingfor and she never gave me any doubt that that was what she wanted. She was completely crazy acting and sending really badmixed messages to both of us. I didn't want to get this poor guy involved so i didnt know what to do. What would you do? Ive loved her for years and shes my best friend. This sucks. I want to support her though and she needs to know some one is there, and it might as well be me, it has been all these years.
I dont feel I am one to talk or judge her actions because I have a sex addiction problem that has made it difficult to be faithful to any one, including her. But I dont think like that, I dont think humans were meant to be monogomous and to force it just makes the expectations too high for any normal person to live up too. I would never expect any one I was with to be faithful, but honest is sa requirement. When I was married my ex would call and tell me he was going to hook up with some girl at work and that he would be home later. There was no need to lie`I could take anything he had to say. I was pretty upset about Lydias lying because she could have told me anything and I never would have judged her.
I love her and care about her and wish her well,but if she leaves I will have another girl friend in a few days, I dont stay downlong, I dont let things get to me. Life is too short. And hopefully I wilol be looking on here for a guy friend for me and a new girl or just for me may be...
anyways, thanks

rm_bigblockgts 49M

1/31/2006 9:24 pm

well liv, you sound very honest, which is always the best pollicy right ?
and you are right to be there for her in any decision that she will make in the future. thats what good friends are for. so maybe give her some time to realize what she has or doesnt have , and she,ll make her choice. as for you just live your life the way you need to , make yourself happy , like you said its to short to let things pass you by . becuase they will and you,ll never be able to get them back !!so have fun and be safe bye for now chris

Guy1378Fox 47M

2/1/2006 10:12 am

Wow, that has got to be a mind blower. A few posts ago she was mad at you for being with another woman, and now she wants to leave you for a man (or the possablility of having a baby.)
Sounds to me like she needs to do some thinking. Is a marraige and a baby really what she wants? Or is that just what she thinks she should want because of how she was brought up? Which does she want more, to have a baby or to be with you?
relationships can be tough sometimes. Mine has been hard for a while, but we have talked and are going to try to make some changes and make the relatiionship work. I hope things work out for you.

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