I'm back and broken  

neuroticafrican 37F
131 posts
6/22/2006 2:54 am

Last Read:
7/5/2006 5:18 am

I'm back and broken

I had such high hopes when I went for my holiday with my beau, such high hopes.

The girl I know, the one I kissed, she knew everything. I was cruel to her when I let her meet my beau, we spent the whole afternoon together, myself, him, and her, and I could see it, she was hurt, hurt to see the man who is taking me away from her, but I like her still, I want her in my life even if not as a lover, she's a wonderful girl.

My beau, he loves me, too much I think. Our relationship is a bit like 'War of the Roses' and then some.

Emotionally, I'm beaten. He says I'm proud, is that pride that he is trying to break at night by shouting and screaming insults? Tearing clothes off me leaving me shivering and taking it all? I've never felt so humiliated. I wanted to pack my bags a couple of times, had even left the room to go back home, and now that I'm away, he's away, I'm thinking, why didn't I do it?

Whisper, I should have stayed, by the way, I'll catch up on your blog soon, I had a quick glance and realised I'd need more time to read it.

Mun, you've been busy, haven't posted in a while.

goffer...thanks for being there

and to the girl who I should have been with, I'm so sorry to put you through this.

I have sworn to be faithful to him, for the 6 months that he will be away but what am I being faithful to? The insults, the abuse? The compulsive obsession?

Will blog later, when my mind has cleared up more.


rm_goffer11 50M

6/22/2006 4:02 am

Neurotic, he does not deserve your faithfulnes, your love, your compassion, your consideration or your time.

You know what I think of him and I will not go into it here.

Now is the time for you to be selfish, you have put up with a lot over the last 6 months or so and now it is time for you. You need to give yourself permission to be you, to be with the one you want and to not put up with shit from others.

Your time is now, take full advantange.

I hope as each day passes you come to realise this more and more and take control of you and never let go of that control again.

I would also like to apologise for my comments yesterday, if I made you feel as though I should have been put on a higher priority than you I am sorry. You are the most important person and you have the highest priority.

I will end it here because I know how much you like it when I start talking like this.

I hope this message finds you better than yesterday and on the way to being you again.

Yours always

rm_hotmissygal2 36F

6/22/2006 5:39 am

Dear you weren't cruel to me. It was good i met him, at least i can easily understand when you are with him. But i hate the way he treated you. There is so much he is not seeing in you i guess.... you are a woman of substance, a lady of character, a personality i would love to emulate, and what drives me nuts......... your beauty, ya brains turn me on... i wish he would see all this qualities and much more..
this is a list of what i like bout ya among others
Your eyes
which first held me captivated
where I stood.
Your smile
to dazzle the sun
and warm every corner of my soul.
Your voice
like a sparkling mountain stream
which flows into my heart.
Your walk
and the way your gracefulness
takes my breath away.
Your hair
soft and dark
i dream running my fingers
to feel its softness
Your hands
whose caress I crave
to hold my face
in their tenderness.
Your arms
I long to have around my neck
as you pull me close
to your warmth.
Most of all
everything you are
changed the way I feel about my life.

neuroticafrican 37F

6/22/2006 6:23 am

hot, you're so good to me

rm_hotmissygal2 36F

6/22/2006 10:41 pm

you are good both inside and outside, i am sure everyone knows this.... be good

TLC19713 46M

7/5/2006 1:17 am

Just do it

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