Get Your Woman To Initiate Sex ...  

nellydalia767 41F
70 posts
2/13/2006 3:17 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Get Your Woman To Initiate Sex ...

Whether you've been with your current girlfriend for a few months or a few years, chances are that you do most of the initiating when it comes to sex. While you don't mind being the one to make the first move, you wish that she'd jump you every once in a while. In fact, you can't understand why she doesn't let you know when she's in the mood, as you'd probably be happy to comply.
There are many reasons behind women not initiating sex, some of which you may have figured out by now, and others which may come as a surprise. Below are the main reasons and tips on what you can do to undo this foul reasoning of hers, without her even being aware of it. Soon you'll be able to get her to initiate sex -- at least half the time.

they don't have to

Let's face it; the main reason women don't initiate sex is because they don't have to. They know that you'll let them know when you want it, at which point they can decide whether or not they want to comply. Sad but true, I know. Think about it; if you're always the one asking for it, why would she even bother?
What to do: This is going to require some self-control on your part, but if you can pull it off, it's well worth it. If you usually have sex a couple of times a week, chances are she expects this frequency by now. So, for a period of one week, tease her subtly by giving her long, passionate kisses, sensual massages, or caressing her softly while you're watching a movie, and when you feel that she's getting turned on, slowly pull away and continue whatever non-sexual thing you were doing. A week of this will drive her up the wall, and she will be all over you by Saturday night -- at the latest.


You can thank society and her mother for this one. Some women have been raised to believe that a woman who initiates sex is invariably a slut. For a lady, such behavior is strictly taboo. She has been conditioned to believe that if she initiates sex, her boyfriend will think that she's a whore, so she never does. Unfortunately, you're dating a prude.
What to do: You have to eradicate this way of thinking from her mind altogether. How? Simple: one day, when you're out having a drink or lounging around the apartment, ask her what turns her on. After she gives you her response, tell her that what would really turn you on is if she initiated sex every so often. If she says that she couldn't, tell her that since you're a couple, it's really okay to do so.

Give her a little time to think about her next move, and keep your eyes open for it, as it could be so subtle at first that you may not even pick up on it. Be sure to give her lots of positive reinforcement for every move she makes. Pretty soon, she'll realize that her mother was wrong.

Find out what to do if she's afraid of rejection or isn't in the mood...

afraid of rejection

Just like men, women are afraid of rejection. However, they have the advantage of not being expected to put their egos on the line every time the opportunity strikes. Therefore, they aren't accustomed to dealing with this feeling nearly as often as men. Some women don't initiate sex because they don't want to risk potential rejection. Perhaps their egos are so fragile that they feel they wouldn't be able to deal with such a blow. Boo hoo, I know.
What to do: Encourage her every move. If she puts her hand on your thigh, keep it there. If she gives you a kiss, actively kiss her back. If she runs her hand through your hair, turn to putty in her hands. Sounds cheesy, but it'll work. Take it one step further by telling her that you really love it when she (insert favorite move here).

After building up her confidence and giving her tons of positive reinforcement, she will no longer feel afraid of rejection. Once this happens, she may start initiating sex on her own. If not, just let her know that you would really like it if she did. Since you made her feel so good, she will be happy to comply. But be sure to not reject her, even if you're not in the mood, as this will be permanently ingrained in her mind; at least in the beginning.

not in the mood

If you've heard "I have a headache" so many times that you've started walking around with a bottle of aspirin in your pocket, the reason your woman may never initiate sex may be because she simply isn't in the mood nearly as often as you are. Either she has a low libido, or is no longer as attracted to you as she used to be.
What to do: This is probably the toughest one to deal with, as you have to determine the cause of her lack of interest before you can try to fix the problem. If she has a low libido, you have to decide if you really want to be in a relationship with someone whose sex drive is incompatible with yours. If her level of interest has simply dropped over time, you may have to figure out why and try to fix the situation. For instance, if the sex has become routine, try spicing it up and see if her interest level perks back up. Or perhaps you've stopped being as charming and considerate as you used to be, in which case you should revert to your old self and watch the sparks fly.

Once you've gotten her interest level in sex back up (if possible), you can use any of the above-mentioned techniques to get her to initiate, including teasing her, asking her to initiate sex, and giving her tons of positive reinforcement.

she's all over you

With a little patience and perseverance, you can get even the shyest woman to start initiating sex almost as often as you do. All it takes is a little subtle manipulation of sorts, and she'll be all over you in no time. Before you know it, she'll start wearing you out.

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