Meeting Max  

needtoknowu1000 48F
225 posts
4/13/2006 10:09 am

Last Read:
4/15/2006 7:57 pm

Meeting Max

Life moves fast; time waits for none; dreams come true and then must be processed. I am such a different person this morning. The events of the past twenty-four hours have given me lots to think about.

Yesterday, late afternoon, I called Max and left a message. He called back within ten minutes. We just picked right back up where we’d left off the other night. Lots of flirting, much suggestion; it was a go. We met and had dinner.

Max is a very nice man, but things began to feel a little rushed. He told me some personal things about himself and melted my heart. We decided to be together and not wanting to drive anywhere, we got a room.

Because Max doesn’t know me on here, I can say it was weird. It made me miss my husband. I need to reassess what I really feel and make some adjustments. I just wish swinging had worked for us, because having my husband with me was more important to me than I had imagined.

Even when Max was inside me, I felt lonely.

GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
4/13/2006 10:56 am

some serious thinking....

gud luck....

needtoknowu1000 48F

4/13/2006 1:10 pm

Thank you Goddess. I think we go through these things in order to inspire us to think and discover who we really are. The highs and lows of life. I'm just thankful to be where I am now. Every experience makes life more real and ever more precious. Time for me to search my soul

Catharsis33 45M

4/13/2006 11:29 pm

I hope you find what you are searching for. My grandmother used to have this saying that "Chasing rainbows will only lead you back home" I did not know what she meant until I got away from home and missed the friends and family left behind.
I appreciate every minute I have with my wife because we had come so close to losing it all in the past. I hope you find that as well. Perhaps you like the flirting and attention from the others but still only long for that one feeling only your husband can give.

Just an observation take it how you will.

needtoknowu1000 48F

4/14/2006 7:20 am

I think your grandmother's saying was right on. It's strange how we have to balance our independence with our desire for our one soul-mate. The problem we had with swinging was that things never truly matched up to where everyone was happy. I'm really particular where guys are concerned. Cocky attitudes always turn me right off and there are a lot of other things that do as well.

So, I wound up doing things just for the thrill of the moment...sometimes making my skin crawl afterwards. Not good. So, open marriage seemed a good option. Then I go out and wind up just wanting to be in my baby's arms. Life can be so strange. I do know we'll always somehow include others in episodes of intimacy, but what form it all takes will be anyone's guess.

I'll just go with the flow and enjoy. And Catharsis33, your wife is fortunate to have you. You're great to talk to and you seem genuine and kind-hearted. Here's wishing you a great weekend

ajd6969 56M
3 posts
4/15/2006 6:27 am

Home is where the heart is. But we all seek the greener pastures on the other side of the fence. If only we could communicate our desires freely to our partners correctly, then we could all enjoy a comfortable stroll thru both worlds, knowing our partner is either there beside us or at home waiting to hear and experience it thru our emotions. My ex had many partners behind my back, and did not tell me. I would have been open to the suggestion of a threesome, or even just being in the know of it all. But she decided to lie about it which hurt our relationship. Things could have turned out much better if she would have talked honestly about her wants and desires, because I to have the same desires as well. But I do believe I am a bigger man for accepting the past, and moving on.

needtoknowu1000 48F

4/15/2006 7:53 am

We are always open and honest with each other and looking for the right balance. We know we're in this together, till death do we part, but neither of us would want it any other way. We've never cheated, but it took us 7 or 8 years to admit to each other that we might desire intimacy with others.

That's when real life took hold. It hasn't been easy, but the path has been interesting and rewarding. The jealousies and insecurities have played themselves out; we faced those monsters and defeated them.

Now it's just going with the flow and searching our hearts and souls to determine what it is we really, really want. Because life is constantly changing, what we really, really want is constantly changing as well. Such is life's journey. The constant is that we have each other, which makes it all worthwhile.

I did get an invitation from someone I really want to get to know. I have to work Sundays and get up at 5:00 am. Last week, I went out on Saturday night and wound up taking a PTO day–can’t do that again for a while.

Become a member to create a blog