So what is the reason for us being here?  

need_more_please 65F
128 posts
8/20/2006 3:43 pm

Last Read:
9/4/2006 4:55 am

So what is the reason for us being here?


I am not talking about why are we born.....I wonder why we are on here.....why do we allow ourselves to need? Don't you find it funny that we are all becoming very good friends......and could have without having to go to a site like this......but we all felt more comfortable knowing that we all are looking for the same thing up front.

Don't that make you wonder why we were not that confident to find each other without the help of this site? I am thinking that it is the best thing I ever did for myself. I love all you guys and have made some very good friends.....lovers and confidants. Now what do you think?

Perchance2000 58M

8/20/2006 4:10 pm

Oh, this is such a good question - I (like many, I suppose) ask myself time and time again why I would remain on the site - it takes time, and it's quite addictive in creating a dream world.

But then, there are the connections we make - and the changes to our own perception of ourselves through reading what moves others, realizing that these are shared experiences, needs and wants, as we articulate what we feel and how we react.

And it is in that evolving process that we eventually meet, face to face, people who go through this process with us. Wherever they are, for whatever purpose - more conversation, or physical exultation, or both.

Somehow it's not just a question of being confident, and it all could be done through other means. Sure, it could - and not all that evolve in a more liberal, shall I say traditional mores daring way, need to do it through AdultFriendFinder.

But it's been a surprisingly efficient method - as indeed certain uncertainties are done away with, or, to put it directly - there is a virtual certainty that speaking openly about matters that so often are not spoken is OK here.

True, you still need to be careful about whether your interlocutor is the right one to share confidences with - but this is a vetting process that is part of establishing an open relationship in any context. Can I trust the person? Funny though that posting a blog and commenting on it makes that process a bit easier - you start to get to know a person, and in a more direct way, but because it still is anonymous to a large degree, there are safeguards - more so than with a meeting in real life, fleeting as those may appear.

So there is the dilemma - on the one hand, a site like this opens doors, potentially --- but how many have the courage to go through them? I know you do, and many others have . . . and that then brings together the best of all - finding a way to break the ice quickly, and then, when things are right, melt it down all the way, in real life encounters.


need_more_please replies on 8/20/2006 6:47 pm:
very eloquently spoken.....and true.....we may drop our pretenses and be ourselves more readily than if we had met the "conventional" way. Hence no small talk to try and lead up to intentions or feelings....we are free-er to speak our minds about subjects that here-to-fore were off limits among civilized peoples.....lol.

Thank Gawd I am a redneck!

68InYourFavor 55M
19 posts
8/20/2006 5:29 pm

i am re-entering the dating scene after a very long marriage. The rules are very different from when I was in the dating scene 20+ years ago, and I didn't understand them all that well then. The rules today are not only different but fluid. Coming to a site like this eliminates many of the uncertainty about dating rules. If the person you are "hooking up" with is on this site, there are some safe assumptions you can make and this eliminates some guesswork and awkwardness.

I think the fact that the 2 people are on this site also allows more open and honest communication sooner in the relationship, whatever it is.

Just my $0.02


need_more_please replies on 8/20/2006 6:33 pm:
I think you may be right.....it does cut out the silly stuff and get you right to the do you really mean what you say and are you willing to find it with me. That is a good point.

midwestboy1972 45M
659 posts
8/20/2006 7:55 pm

Thanks for making me think about this! For me, it was a matter of coming off a 2 year relationship, getting a home computer, and living in a new area where I knew no one. Of course being a man, I joined because I thought I would get laid and I thought it would be an easy way to meet women. I also loved the fact it gave me a way to put myself out there and say "this is me, take it or leave it." And for awhile that was good but I dug deeper and discovered the blogs. Blogging allowed me to express myself on a daily basis. Then I discovered others blogs. It allowed me to get to know people and their daily thoughts. Then I started responding to people and they responded in return. And then came the meet and greets. Wow, what an adventure those have been. They make you realize the people on here are actually real!

I completely agree that we could have all been fast friends without AdultFriendFinder, but I don't question fate and this is certainly a hell of a catalyst. I certainly help our bonds as friends in this group continue to grow, despite spats from time to time!


need_more_please replies on 8/20/2006 9:01 pm:
Spats? Oh baby....don't let little things get in the way of a good time. I missed you at the last Meet and Greet ...... will you be there this Wednesday?

DJ

midwestboy1972 45M
659 posts
8/21/2006 2:20 pm

I was at the last one sweetie, but you were too busy picking up a certain someone's phone off the floor every 10 seconds! Who brought the baby to the party anyway


rm_plsinhim 59M/59F

8/22/2006 5:34 am

well here to find a woman whom enjoys sex as much as i, my one fantasy is to be with another and really to surprise the heck out of him with a threesome. seems as if on this site every or 98% live 100/200 miles away or are younger than my kids, there has to be someone out there?? hope to hear from you soon!!!


DiscreetLove4U2 50M  
4 posts
8/22/2006 1:47 pm

I believe we are on here (AdultFriendFinder) because of the rules of society force us to look…Hey all of us are looking for the same thing up front, companionship, sex, passion, sex, and more companionship, sex, passion…Societies rules hold us all back…Being monogamous is NOT a Natural ACT what so ever…How often a day do you walk down the hall at work and think about sex??? How often a day do you walk down the hall at work and imagine having sex with someone you passed??? How often do you walk through the super market and imagine having sex with someone you passed??? I will answer the question for you…About 50 times a day…Now what holds us back??? Our upbringing or unwritten laws of society…I believe on this network we can be ourselves and let out our darkest fantasies, desires, needs, wants, emotions, and passion BECOME REALITY…

PAT


rm_gr8tfk4u 61M

8/25/2006 9:04 am

Lots of good ideas and comments. Most of us agree that this site allows us to be.....basically ourselves. We open up more here then probably anywhere else!


noordinarychic2 49F
242 posts
8/28/2006 3:38 pm

It has amazed me at the number of true friends I've met on this site. I think comfort is the big thing...we feel comfortable with each other because many of us read each other's blogs on a daily basis...plus with the meet & greets...yes I promise to crawl out from under the books for the next one!...when you meet people in person and realize that many of them are real people, with interesting lives and intelligent thoughts and emotions...wow! I wonder though, with my living in a smaller town, how many of you that i adore so much i would have met without AdultFriendFinder? luv ya guys! noc2


rm_tazboss51 66M
27 posts
8/28/2006 5:30 pm

I came on here originally entirely by accident, but like yourself have met some very good people. some of whom I have gotten close to. I think the reason people come on here is that it is not considered taboo to openly talk about sex, fantacies, intimacy. The people here are all adults and even though there are some that I feel are pretty shallow, I have met and chatted with some very intelligent ladies. There are a lot of people out there in the same position, with the same wants and needs its a shame the confidence and acceptance isn't also there to allow more open communication


luvlee_j1 47F

8/29/2006 8:04 pm

I believe i'm here because for what ever reason my sex drive has kicked into overdrive....hubby and i have and always had a wonderful relationship..in and out of the bedroom. But now my needs have grown. One man is just not enough anymore. I think it's a phase or something that will pass....but untill it does i'm going to hav lots of fun. As far making new friends here....thats just the icing on the cake! I hope to see all of you at the next M&G. Lots of Love Dear!


rm_abcdefg463 49M
24 posts
9/4/2006 4:30 am

PERSONALY I THINK IT'S NOT SO EASY TO FIND EACH OTHER SINCE PEOPLE DON'T WALK AROUND WITH A FUCK ME PLEASE SMILE OR SIGN.

WHEN U MEET SOMEONE THAT'S NOT THE FIRST THING U WILL GET TO TALK ABOUT, AND THE COUPLE OF TIMES I DID I GOT THE 'BASTARD IS THAT WHAT U WANT ME FOR'

AT LEAST HERE U KNOW IN A WAY WHO U R DEALING WITH, WHAT DO THEY WANT AND HOW. IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD PEOPLE WILL PUT NAMES ON U OF COURSE 4 MEN IS NOT THAT BAD BUT 4 WOMEN SPECIALLY IN SMALL SOCIETIES SUCH AS GREECE IN FACT CRETE AND CYPRUS TO BE POINTED AS A SLUT, A WHORE (many don't even know the difference, though they go to gents-clubs and pay to get a fuck with out the knowledge of their wives), AND ALL THESE NAMES ITS TERRIBLE.

AS U VERY NICELY PUT IT AT LEAST HERE WE ALL KNOW WHY WE ARE HERE 4, SOME WANT LOVE, OTHERS MARRIAGE, AND THE MOST A GOOD FUCKING....

I ALSO HAVE TO AGREE WITH THEPRINCESS111, I DON'T LIKE MUCH THE EXTREMELY BUSY SCENES IN BARS AND CLUBS, I WOULDN'T MIND A SLIGHTLY QUITER SCENE OR EVEN A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE, OR WINE AT THE BEACH AT NIGHT OR IN THE FOREST, BALCONY INDOORS OUTDOORS NAD JUST GO NUTS....

KEEP IT UP

G.
CRETE

THE FACT THAT I TRAVEL QUITE A LOT IT'S EASIER TO MEET PEOPLE AND GET TOGETHER FASTER, AS MOST OF MY TRIPS LAST ONLY JUST A FEW DAYS.


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