ThumbChickStool 34F
541 posts
7/20/2006 11:59 pm

Last Read:
11/25/2006 2:00 pm


Welcome back to the drama that is my life. I have ultimately decided to stay in Vegas. I'm on the waiting list for a subsidized apartment. Since my only income is cash assistance from the state, I will be paying $120 a month, or so, for a 3 bedroom, 2 bath apartment. It's not in the best part of town, but there is an elementary school a few blocks south of me, a junior high a few blocks north, and a daycare center just a 20 minute walk away. And that daycare is 2 minutes away from a major bus route. So hey, it's not that bad a deal after all.

Unfortunately, the shelter the kids and I were staying at kicked us out. The reason they gave me was that I spent too much time waiting for someone else. They told me it was time for me to grow up and make my own decisions. The real reason? I had been there for 2 months, and they needed to free up my space so they could get more money. The more people that go through there, the more money the shelter gets. My case manager was really upset though. She told me as I was leaving that she didn't hurt as bad about other clients leaving as she hurting for me. She was surprised to find out I was being kicked out.

So now I'm at my mom's again, but it's on a daily basis. I have to stay on top of the kids, and keep this place spotless. Any idea how hard that is with a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and a 5 week old baby? Never mind that the baby needs to be held constantly, but this house is 3000 square feet. It's huge!! And temporary. My mom's leaving for vacation next week, and even if I make it that ling, she won't let me stay here alone until the apartment is ready. The wheels are turning on what I'm going to do then.

Oh, for those who are wondering, no, Rick is not going to come back to Vegas to be with me and the kids. He really wants me to go back. He says he misses me and the kids and that it's too hard for us. Do you know how long it took him to finally kick Julie out? Over three weeks after he told me he wanted me back. I had to give him an ultimatum to kick Julie out. And he told me I was being cold, and I should feel bad about sending someone to a homeless shelter. I told him it shouldn't be his problem since he supposedly wanted his wife and kids back. Besides, I gave birth and was right back in the shelter the next day when the hospital relased me. Was a homeless shelter good enough for his new baby, but not good enough for his girlfriend? She finally moved in with another friend, so he says.
Now he and his aunt are all over me about keeping the kids' father away from them. That I can no longer blame him for my being in Vegas. He may have sent me out here, but I'm choosing to stay here. And then they try to guilt-trip me with the kids. How it's not good for the kids to be away from their father, how he was a good dad for them. Yes, he is a good dad, but he's making Joshua a higher priority than these three. FFS, he's never gotten to hold the baby. He's only seen her in pictures. He's trying to make me feel bad saying that it's going to suck to see his kids grow up in pictures, but that's his fucking choice. He wants me and the kids bad enough, he can come to Vegas. Otherwise the state will be all over his ass for child support. Not that it matters, because instead of getting paid, his uncle pays his bills for him.

And they want me to go back to that?!? His entire family is strapped for cash, and Rick will be continuously in the hole with his uncle. I'm not going to go back to that unstability. Rick's phone has been shut off for two weeks now. I will be able to pay all my bills out here with a part-time job easily, seeing how the rent is based on my income and the state is going to help with childcare. And since the line of work I'm looking into pays approximately $10-$12 an hour, I'm set part-time or full time. And part-time means I'll get to see the baby more, even though I would prefer to be a stay at home mom again.

It boils down to this: I'm ready to be independent and stand on my own two feet. If he wants to be a part of my life, fine. If not, fine. And I already now what side he will pick, because he's already chosen.

Become a member to create a blog