How Selfish Am I?  

mysticdreamangel 62F
1119 posts
8/8/2006 7:19 pm

Last Read:
8/14/2006 4:06 pm

How Selfish Am I?

Today I actually thought I would start a new post series…couldn’t quite decide what I was going to write about, but felt confident that I could write. I went to work thinking about the topic and had come up with a few ideas…and then…a reality hit me square in the face!

All of a sudden I knew how precious life is; who cares about writing a post…who cares about blogs…who cares about the petty bull s _ _ _ that goes on day to day in this place of fantasy! What I witnessed today, which is not my first time for witnessing something like this, but my first time for seeing the value of life.

Here I am concerned about what my next post should be…like my life depended on it…and in a matter of moments I witnessed a man fighting for his life. All I know is that the thud I heard will ring in my ears for a long time and tonight I’m afraid to go to sleep because even awake I can see the image of him laying in the road…in convulsions…silent, yet…his body showed everyone near how desperate his fight was going to be…

It seemed like hours watching this man lying in the road fighting a fight that I can’t even imagine, but in reality it was only a short span of time. An innocent who on a beautiful New England day was riding his motorcycle, going to work, just being. And in an instant, his life was taken out of his hands…no warning…nothing he did wrong…nothing he could do!

I stood there watching…I stood there trembling…I stood there and thought…how selfish have I been!

This post is for him! I don’t know if he is alive or not…but wherever he is…may he know that the terrible thing that happened to him will not go unnoticed! I think that we need to reevaluate where we all are in our lives. Yes AdultFriendFinder is a great way to pretend…a great way to be who we are, want to be, or who we think we could be…but honestly, 99% of the time it isn’t real! Even when we are being truthful…are we? Even when we let our guard down…would we do that in real life? Even if we say nothing…are we being honest?

What if it were you or I lying in the middle of the road…would we feel good about what we have done, where we have been, who we are? That is my question for tonight. I sit here, like I said, afraid to go to sleep, afraid to visualize what I’m seeing in my waking moments, afraid for him!

All I keep asking myself is, how I could be so shallow as to wonder what I would be if I could write my next post…

My prayers and thoughts are with this man who I don’t know and may never know. Tonight may we all think about our posts and realize no matter who says what…no matter who hurts who…no matter how we feel when we are ignored…at least we live! May he live also…

MDA…signing out hoping we all can realize how lucky we truly are!

Hugs to you all and especially to this unknown man that will haunt my dreams!

loadeddice05 45M

8/8/2006 8:05 pm

I also hope he's ok??? Too bad!!! You are soooo right!! Life is precious and should be cherished!! Especially at an advancing age??? Have you checked on sloman lately????


mysticdreamangel replies on 8/9/2006 5:12 am:
Today, my mission is to find out how he is and if I find anything out I will let you all know.

Thanks for making me I haven't checked in on Sloman lately, but I'll be sure to do so before my eyes get so bad I can't see the computer screen...ya know...advancing age...


toothysmile 51M
16517 posts
8/8/2006 8:20 pm

of course we're lucky. and my thoughts will be with this man too.

mysticdreamangel replies on 8/9/2006 5:10 am:
I thank you for thinking of him...


warmgrey7 51M
422 posts
8/9/2006 1:21 pm

Hi honey,
One of the reasons why I feel such a closeness to you is because you are just the sort of person that would be "awakened" by an event like this. In this affluent state of CT there seems to a be a surplus of monied self-centered a*!holes looking for their next payday. Am I warm???
In any case, dreamboat, just be yourself here. No need to feel pressured to perform. At least not yet...
When I pass by an accident I try, however briefly to think about who is involved and wish them well - however insignificant that may seem.
Drop me a line, honey. We can discuss the joys of advancing age together while snuggling on the couch.

mysticdreamangel replies on 8/9/2006 5:04 pm:

Yes, you are warm when you described the type of people here in CT but I still try to believe that there are those good people as well.

I will continue to be myself, but right now I'm kind of tired. I just want a life...never see how easy it is to forget, I have a life...unlike the man I saw yesterday!

I will write to you when my mind set is one that is not so negative...but thank you for hanging in there with me!

tenorsaxxman 67M

8/9/2006 2:31 pm

I, of course, have a real life and part of it is here. I have real friends here that will probably be so for as long as I can predict. I offer words of kindness when they have sorrows to deal with, poems with humor when they are feeling down, provocative verse to kick start their minds .. . . .. nothing to lessen the shattering reality of a wreck, and I hope he comes back strong, but there is life here as well, not imaginary, just not physical that you can touch (well, maybe for some . . . .. ). This is not a pretend life, but a chance to communicate with others without all the distractions of TV, phones ringing, people barging in, etc. Direct communication for the sake of communication, I like to think. Anyway, just my take on it. Best Wishes to you and the motorcycle guy, really.


mysticdreamangel replies on 8/9/2006 5:08 pm:
tenor, if I offended you in any way I'm truly sorry. My post last night was out of total what I what I'm life in general. What I wrote, was more for me than anyone else and I do hope that I didn't offend anyone.

I'm normally not like I was last night...but even today...not knowing if he is okay or not...has be wondering my own worth, nobody elses...just my own.

Thank you for stopping by and thank you for your incite!


peaches19555 62M

8/10/2006 2:45 pm

Life is where we find it. Close yours and mourn this loss. The grievings of your soul celebrate his significance. Find that sadness in your heart and hold it up for all to see. Is there any better tribute to humanity's passing? So soon we all shall be memories. And yet for many this is only the beginning

mysticdreamangel replies on 8/10/2006 4:52 pm:

I will wrap my arms around your words! Thank you for stopping by and may I meet you again...

May this be the beginning for all of us...

Hugs to a beautiful man

Become a member to create a blog