...a waste of time...  

my_brkn_heart 57F
283 posts
6/11/2006 11:20 am

Last Read:
6/12/2007 5:33 am

...a waste of time...

I haven't eaten in days,
not that you care.
I can't go to sleep.
I can't think straight.
I'm so worried and don't know what to do.
I needed someone to talk to,
to help cope, that's all.
I left a few messages,
I thought you might call.
Instead I was a bother,
too much to ask,
just a pain in the ass.
So you turned off the phone,
what else would I expect.
This is all turning out,
just as I thought.
The few I have shared with
have blown me off.
You once told me
I need to open up
talk about my problems
for what?
I will keep doing
what I've always done
face it alone
I'm who I count on.
I'll try to stay strong.
all by myself.
What choice do I have,
there is no one else.

Mr_sweetness 45M
2599 posts
6/11/2006 11:56 am

God bless you....have faith in yourself, beleive in yourself, hold your head up high and smile you are alive, try not to let anything get you down....you are not alone i am here for you...HUUUGGGSSSSSS....peace, love and happiness

Peace, cause there is to much violence and blood shed in the world!!

Love, cause there is to much hate in the world!!

Happiness, cause it feels good and life is to short to be mean and unhappy all the time!!

goodatpoetry2 68M
16569 posts
6/11/2006 12:21 pm

There MUST be somebody. Maybe someone you've never thought about before. Too old, too fat, too shy, or too ugly....but NICE. Just someone nice to talk to. It doesn't have to be love. Or sex. Just talking and hopefully caring. There HAS to be someone, who seems to like you. Give him a chance. You might be surprised.

2375 posts
6/11/2006 1:04 pm

There's always us. Even though we are faceless, nameless people to you, we still care. And I agree with Poetry, you might be surpised to find a friend in someone you already know, but didn't see that way.

my_brkn_heart 57F
71 posts
6/11/2006 1:40 pm

Mr_sweetness, goodatpoetry2, akron42
Thank you...
I am just venting...
Besides, I don't want to feel as if I am burdening anyone else with my problems. We all have our obstacles to overcome, this is one of mine. I will do what needs to be done, follow the Dr.'s orders, take care of myself...and put on a good show for the world to see.
It's just another day.
I'll be fine.

I do appreciate the support though!

curiousnewcome2 62F

6/12/2006 11:25 am

If it helps, there are others out here who live as you do, in a world of powerful emotions. It is not an easy way to live and certainly is not the norm. With such a loving nature you open yourself up to deep hurt. But remember, we are special and from this will come growth and transformation. This is an opportunity for you to learn, as painful as it is. I too lost my job and my love and struggle just as you do. But to stand in your pain with the help of friends and your own inner strength...and let it wash over you and then release it little by little...will do wonders for the soul. Write if you need a friend.

a kindred spirit

my_brkn_heart 57F
71 posts
6/12/2006 5:54 pm

curiousnewcome2 Thank you so much...you have touched my heart.

discreet4mforcpl 55M
2 posts
6/25/2006 6:53 pm


Your writings are beautiful. The clarity jolted me and I felt my own sense of loneliness. I've read your complete blog and wish you the best.
Clarity, that's what I needed. Sex isn't what my life is missing (although that has been missing for some time), but the sharedness of intimacy. Thank you.


my_brkn_heart 57F
71 posts
6/26/2006 7:00 pm

Thank you...

discreet4mforcpl 55M
2 posts
6/29/2006 7:17 am

Don't want to be inappropriate, but I'm looking for a vacation pal to go to cancun next month - if you want to get away let me know.

my_brkn_heart 57F
71 posts
6/29/2006 6:57 pm


CANCUN!!!! Damn, now where did I put that bikini!
I have never been to Cancun...but I've seen pictures! It would be incredible, but how could I possibly accept your offer?
I don't think I could work it anyway. New job, no vacation time and I have 'other issues' that I am dealing with.
But man...how cool would that be? To just take off and go to Cancun!?

I thank you so much for the offer, just thinking about it put a smile on my face!

rm_g1000man 71M
54 posts
7/1/2006 5:35 am

HI My BRTN HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take it day by day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life will go on, believe me, I know that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lost my son, he died in 1984
Lost my wife in 1996, two weeks to cancer, a shock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lost my career of 33 years in 1999

One step at a time, one day at a time...........

Eventually you will walk steady and strong again...then you will run!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rm_g1000man 71M
54 posts
7/1/2006 5:39 am

Cancun is a beautiful place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I have weeks many weeks at the Palace Resorts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!It is a great place to go and relax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The reef is great

my_brkn_heart 57F
71 posts
7/1/2006 9:03 am

g1000man Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I am sorry to hear of your loss. You are right, I need to count my blessings and be thankful for what I do have.

I am trying to be hopeful and work on the things in my life that matter.

Take care.

rm_g1000man 71M
54 posts
7/2/2006 9:22 am

You can only take one step at a time..........................I know

hardnhorny398 60M

7/3/2006 9:28 pm

Hi My Brkn Hrt<
I to know how you feel to feel like there is no one there! Especially the one you thought you could count on! I have lost a lot in my life and in marriage I feel that I was only worth what could be gained by what I had. I lost everything, but you know I am a survivor and am taking one day at a time, have bought another house and slowly rebuilding. This year has been a hard one for me as I lost my precious Dad this past Feb. He waited until I was holding him in my arms and as hard as it was for me to say, I told him if he needed to go, then go. In just a few minutes he turned and looked staright into my eyes and took 3 last breaths and slowly closed his eyes. I held him for 2 hrs until rest of family got home and he was taken from me.
Life is hard in all aspects, but I know my Dad wanted me to be happy and believe he is watching over me....still!!!
Here is something to think about that was sent to me...
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
Marry a man you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

That is just a few that was sent to me as this person who sent them knows that I am an affectionate, caring, and passionate man who is just looking for the real love!!!!!
Wish I could meet you and if only for friendship then we both win, if it would develope into more then we both win.
Take care

rm_solglasogon 55M
21 posts
7/15/2006 3:00 pm

7/15/2006 5:27 PM

Thinking praying for and about you and how your procedure went

You are not alone We are all in this race together The human race

I am not a big fan of posting my contact information, but what the hell here goes

Contact me If not me, then contact someone Do it today You'll feel better and so will they

my_brkn_heart 57F
71 posts
7/15/2006 9:00 pm

solglasogon Thanks, I appreciate the concern...
...the procedure went...been feeling a little fatigued and nauseous, hungry but unable to eat...slept a lot today and will probably do the same tomorrow...

goin' back to bed now...g'night...and thanks again

rm_solglasogon 55M
21 posts
7/16/2006 6:17 am

Glad to hear the procedure went....

I don't know anything about this Blog stuff or how to make it work. I guess, like everything else, they have total control over content so my contact info. didn't appear. Good and Bad.

Didn't bother to mention last time that two of my aunts currently have C and my father has had a "new" case of it three of the last seven years (a new case, a new battle three times in seven years).

Also failed to mention that I have a massage table, oil and appropriate music, if that's anything you're interested in. Not certified or anything, but not bad either (no complaints).

A wise man once told me "fall forward, pick yourself up, progress made". Didn't make sense then (I was twelve), but it sure does now. Some days, that's all we can expect from ourselves...at least we made progress.

I would enjoy communicating with you beyond Blogs.

I pray that today is better than yesterday for you.

rm_solglasogon 55M
21 posts
7/16/2006 6:19 am

50,000,000 people wear the "Live Strong" bracelet credited to Lance Armstrong. Do you?

I'd be happy to send you one.

Every little bit helps....

rm_solglasogon 55M
21 posts
7/16/2006 6:59 am


Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine

A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Dare I forget, all the joy that is mine today

I'll be a dandy and I'll be a rover
You'll know who I am by the songs that I sing

I'll feast at your table, I'll sleep in your clover
I'll laugh and I'll cry and I'll sing

Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine

A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Dare I forget all the joy that is mine today


Friend I will remember you think of you and pray for you
And when another day is through, I'll still be friends with you.


Friend I will remember you, think of you and pray for you
And when another day is through, I'll still be frineds with you.

Love is everywhere I see it, you are all that you can be
go on and be it

Life is perfect I believe it
Come and play the game with me

Love is everyhwere I see it, you are all that you can be
go on and be it

Life is perfect I believe it
Come and play the game with me

Yee Haw !!

Just a couple of jingles to pick you up....when ever you need it.


rm_solglasogon 55M
21 posts
7/16/2006 6:52 pm

Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring.

He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Read this next line very slowly and let it sink in...

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Some additional things to think about/help brighten your days.
Obviously, you're on my mind.

Take care,


27 posts
7/20/2006 10:10 pm

Darling: Thing of this I love the things you write, most often but then heading and the start, well why LET it win, sorry I don't know how you feel, you know the drama with my brother but every day it is a fight, and he will not give in! I know what you feel because I've been at the bedside! Take a breath and think of the great folks who care about you, so very many do! Relax your mind and your body will follow. Every day you win, means we are a day closer to a cure and an end to your pain! So, Heres is this, Jon Bon Jovi We'll be here for you...
Hugs and what the heck a kiss too!

my_brkn_heart 57F
71 posts
7/21/2006 8:34 pm

Thanks jonnierocks & Jeff,
So far, so good...I'm not giving in. I guess there are stages one goes through, when they find out the diagnosis. Anger, sadness, fear, disbelief, anger, panic...I'm sure all of the feelings come and go.
Right now I am mostly just tired. I have had so many other things to stress about, that this doesn't seem as bad...just another straw thrown on the camel's back...
I'm dealing with car trouble...trying to decide whether to fix this one, or trade it in...looking to find a new place to live, trying to decide whether to rent or buy...I really would like to buy a place. Seems a bit daunting.
Working, usually 12-14 hours a day (not counting the hour drive one way to get there) and squeezing in house hunting without blowing my car up!
It sucks being a grown up!
I appreciate all of your support.
Your words and thoughts touch me...warms my heart...

rm_solglasogon 55M
21 posts
7/22/2006 9:19 am

Thanks for your reply!

I know a very trustworthy mechanic here and would be happy to help you with your car concerns.

Would also be happy to run you around to pursue your house hunting adventure.

If you plan on staying in one area for at least three years, then buy (you won't lose money), if less than that then rent (cause you will lose money).

The massage offer still stands (though it may be perceived as being a bit forward, it's not intended to be) as I am always a true gentleman.

What ever would make you feel good, break up your routine, meet a new friend, do something different.

Try it! You just might like it!

I'll continue to pray for you,


rm_solglasogon 55M
21 posts
7/22/2006 9:20 am

Forgot to ask if you are ever in any of the chat rooms?

Take care,


rm_solglasogon 55M
21 posts
7/22/2006 8:13 pm

Another thought for the day.....

Have you ever heard of the B.R.A.T. diet?

When you feel like you can't keep anything down, but need to eat something try plain Bread, then white Rice, then Applesauce, then Toast.

These are four of the foods that are most easily digested by the body and least likely to cause stomach upset or digestive problems.

If you already know about it, please forgive the redundancy of the idea.


dontcallherbert 62M
1 post
7/24/2006 4:52 am

touching souls in close embrace
feeling the passions as they rise
staring blindly into heavens face
and humbled by the autumn skies

gaining strength from god and man
seeing life from newly opened eyes
knowing you've done all you can
that one's soul never ever dies

having hope friends and faith
sharing the joy with the pain
learning to love without hate
and filled with sunshine again

good luck, Sam

rm_solglasogon 55M
21 posts
8/22/2006 7:36 am

The courtesy of a reply is appreciated!

At least let us know how you are doing.

Seems like no one has heard from you in a while.


my_brkn_heart 57F
71 posts
8/22/2006 6:42 pm

I'm sorry,
...you are absolutely right...

I haven't been online as much. My computer crashed and I lost everything and am now using a laptop.

I am currently undergoing treatment for my cancer.
It seems to be going ok, but I am exhausted most of the time.
It seems to drain me.
I am continuing to work while fighting this, and trying to keep a positive attitude...most of the time, I just feel like sleeping!

Thank you for checking in with me, I will try to not be such a stranger.
I manage to answer most of my emails...but other than that...just trying to stay focused and healthy...
it's not easy...but I'm tough!

Hangin' in there...

Hugs & Kisses

rm_solglasogon 55M
21 posts
8/26/2006 8:10 pm

Thanks for checking in. Now, those of us that really care, have heard something.

I believe that I can help you with the computer that crashed.

Glad you are responding to e-mail as I would much rather be communicating with you there, then here.

Hang in there!


rm_solglasogon 55M
21 posts
10/12/2006 9:51 pm

Haven't heard anything since Aug. 22

Hell, it's almost October 22.

Guess maybe I cared too much, or not enough.

Fight on!


joker4816 65M
1 post
8/13/2007 2:14 pm

Hey remember you are never alone there are plenty of us out here who care all you have to do is call upon your friends.

shooter691962 56M

12/30/2007 4:37 am

If I'm not wrong it sounds like you are talking about your ex. What a jerk he must be.

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