who said woman never say what they mean......  

mrbenuk1 48M
70 posts
2/23/2006 2:41 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

who said woman never say what they mean......

Be afraid lads....be very afraid..

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
>Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
>setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What
>does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And
>they say blondes are dumb...
>
>A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
>happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
>
>"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of
>the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed
>the lawn like this?"
>
>"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
>
>He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good
>idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and pass
>gas!
>
>Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>
>A: A rumour
>
>A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding
>anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that
>because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
>
>The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh!
>Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for
>a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned
>ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
>
>A PRAYER....
>
>Dear Lord,
>
>I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
>
>Love to forgive him;
>
>And Patience for his moods.
>
>Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
>
>I'll beat him to death.
>
>AMEN
>
>Q: Why do little boys whine?
>
>A: They are practicing to be men.
>
>Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
>
>A: Trustworthy.
>
>Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
>calling your name?
>
>A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>
>Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
>
>A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
>
>Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
>
>A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
>
>Q: What is the difference between men and women?
>
>A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman
>to satisfy his one need.
>
>Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>
>A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
>
>Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day! And send
>this to five bright men who have enough sense of humour to take it! (If you
>know five bright men!)


Become a member to create a blog