Love stinks! Yes, I said it...  

mona4play 37F
8 posts
9/12/2005 9:57 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Love stinks! Yes, I said it...

I know that there are people out there that might say that I'm too young for love. Or maybe I haven't experienced enough emotionally fulfilling relationships to truly understand what love is or means. I respectfully disagree. Of course, we have to differentiate between romantic love and family love. For now, I'm focusing on romantic love.

What is love? Webster describes it as a warm affection, an attraction based on sexual desires, etc. But most of us know that it's more than that. Sometimes I feel the word love is too general for everyone. Rather, it should be called "your concept of love."

Hear me out. Not everyone's love it the same. Once again, most of us know that. Every one of us have our own unique concept of what love should be. And what do we do with that concept? We try to impose it on someone else that we might find romantically suitable, and hope that this individual shares our own concept of love. And if somewhere down the road, we should part ways based on disagreeable circumstances, we are quick to blame each other. And that blame game is only another way of saying you didn't follow my concept of love. There are times when we find that person who comes so incredibly close to our concept that we can hardly breathe when we're around them. But I guarantee that as special as they seem, at least one of their concepts do not match up with yours. And what do we do when that happens? We do one or more of the following:

a) We intentionally or unintentionally find the flaw(s) and ignore it.
b) We intentionally or unintentionally find the flaw(s), complain about it, and then ignore it.
c) We intentionally or unintentionally find the flaw(s), complain about it, and then try to change it to or until it fits our concept.
d) We intentionally or unintentionally find the flaw(s), figure out that we can't deal with it, and leave.

If you're an "a," God bless you, because I think most of us are around "b" and/or "c."

Just to think about what we do as human beings in order to keep someone within our concept of love is tiring. But we keep pushing on, and prevailing, and hoping that there is someone out there that fits what we're looking for. The love game is rough, and yes, at times it stinks. Or maybe it's just my concept that stinks. Who knows for sure. There are some days when I feel like giving up, and whenever that happens, something comes along and turns me right back around. Damn pheramones! ;o)

methodman1000 41M
1775 posts
9/12/2005 10:36 am

well loves make you the the unthinkable.and God bless your pheramones cuz it still make u wannan love unconditionally,we have to make a compromise in our love live,like it or not

Goldenhairgodess 64F
396 posts
9/12/2005 11:34 am

Love maybe as you say for you. There is a concept that I think you may have not learned yet. That is "Agree to disagree" which is not to ignore the difference, but to ackowledge it. And accept that no one is ever going to be 100% in agreement with you on all matters. And that is the bases of unconditional love. Over time, those issues become less important and the sharp edges of differences seem to smooth out.

iwantu79912 55M
127 posts
9/12/2005 2:03 pm

I agree with Goldenhairgodess about "Agree to disagree". I think that most of us start out in the a) category. Then the pile of things that we are ignoring gets so big that we move to the b) category. Eventually we move to the c) category and that is where the true love really shines, because if we truely love our partners, we will fix at least some of the things until we can get back into the b) again. We then alternate between b) and c) and are generally happy there otherwise we go straight to d), do not pass go and do not collect $200. At that point we find someone else and start the whole process over.

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