Today is the day.  

mistymommie 41F
353 posts
11/9/2005 12:02 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Today is the day.

I've come to a decision...

It's not me. I try so hard to please a man that just refuses to be pleased. I have gone out of my my way(which I believe a wife should do) to make this man happy and love me, only to have him slam every door possible in my face.

How much can one person take?!! I'm tired. Tired of the fighting, tired of crying, tired of watchng my children cry, tired of being left home alone.

You know, we've been together for 8 yrs-of that 8 yrs I have received 1 Birthday, Christmas, Aniversary present. 1! How many do you think he received? Every damn holiday!! I'm not a shallow or materialistic woman, but come on now! 1 in 8 yrs!!

I am basically a single mom and woman as it is . So why not just make it a for real thing. I would rather actually be alone than to just feel alone!

I have tried so hard. I have done everything he has ever wanted me too. He wants to go out with the guys-I don't say a word except "have fun". He blows his paycheck on God only knows what- I say"it's ok, i'll cover it". He doesn't want to talk- I say "ok". He doesn't want to touch me unless it's on his terms (which is once in a blue moon) I say "fine". And I really mean once in a blue moon. It's going on a month and a half now. Not like it matters anyway since it's only about him. I gave up my friends and family because he didn't like them.

The house is clean, dinner is prepared, the kids are out of his hair. What else can I do???

I can't rack my brain anymore. I have no tears left. I have no heart left. I'm just simply done.


1023 posts
11/9/2005 11:16 am

You're not done... maybe with him and the one sided situatuion, but you've your own life and the children to think of. If it's not going how you think it should don't settle for it. Suggest going to a couple's counsler and if he says no, then you don't tell him that plan b is going to a lawyer, but if he doesn't give a counsler a chance, then go to one!. It costs nothing to find out your options, grounds, and retainer. Just don't go for the lowest bidder, the same can be said about the highest also. Once again good luck. I've tried to give you the support and the tools in my comments to your other posts, but it's up to you where you go or allow him to take you. Read back, look at your wants, formulate an action, complete it, and always never give up on yourself. WALLAH!

mistymommie 41F

11/9/2005 1:59 pm

Thank you for your kindness and your words. They do mean alot even coming from a stranger.

I did look back over my blogs and read them. I read the comments that they received also. This battle with him has been an ongoing one for about 4 years. I did ask him to see a counselor-he refused. I went to one myself and asked how I could better myself to make him love me again. I have tried everything that Lady told me and then some!

I have tried to talk to him, but he just doesn't want to talk to me. He says I only want to talk about boring stuff. To me saving my marriage wasn't boring.

Now the other day I asked him why he treated me like this and the kids? He said he didn't have kids to entertain them! I asked him why he had them then and he said he didn't know-it was what I wanted.

He told me point blank that if I didn't like the way he was to tell him to leave because he wasn't going to change. Um, hello-wake up call Misty!

He was in a rollover car accident 2 weeks ago. He and his buddy had been out drinking and the buddy was driving. They hit 3 parked cars and rolled over. He went through the front windshield. He broke his nose, bit his lip off, had 2 black eyes and various other cuts and bruises all over not to mention a concussion and wiplash. He could have been dead.

This should have been an eyeopener for him. His family almost lost him. It wasn't . So, I am doing him a favor really by asking him to go. It seems that that is what he wants. So why should I stand in the way?


rm_Smile_My_Way 60M
1519 posts
11/9/2005 2:03 pm

I feel for you dear.

pleasurergivher 64M

11/9/2005 10:48 pm

Hello Misty,
I have been reading what you have written and it saddens me to think that your daughters and you have to live in a situation like that and I cannot imagine any man (if that is what he calls himself) would ever ignore his wife and kids on special days, one time in eight years??? that is unheard of!!! From what you have written, I don't understand why you are still there, do you work outside the home??? If so, you should probaby consider other options rather than stay in a situation like describe, must be a very tense/unbearable relantionship, of course there is always two sides to every situation and I am sure your husband has his side, but I have a strong feeling that everything you say is true and I can relate to many things that you have talked about, but remember, everyone can give you advise, but you have to live with your decisions, hope you make the right decisions for yourself and good luck to you and your daughters, take care and if you ever need someone to just talk to, let me know, ok??? I am a very good listener-----Dave

1023 posts
11/10/2005 8:12 am

Let him go...dont let his accident prolong your hurt. If you're friends with his family let them know your side after doing something with him. Maybe while he is injured, he would nt become violent (something else to watch out for). be careful...but he'll certainly blame you for breaking it off during his injured time
(you heartless sweet thang ^_^) and if he leaves that's a plus.... the legal term is abandonment, check to see if it applies to your locality. good luck, I'll check back on you often, you know where my blog is and also you can email.

rm_bella_ 48F
4030 posts
11/10/2005 6:07 pm heart is with you. It seems as though you are at the end of your rope with him...maybe thank God that you reached it now rather than 5 years down the line. I hope the best for you and remember that here there is much support if you need it. All it takes is an email.

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